Kingdom Crazies
by BlueEyedFun
Summary: Sora gets hit in the head and loses his mind. Seems like everyone else has gone crazy too. Everything leads to more randomness, highness, and ridiculousness. Warning, this is not ment to be read by mortal eyes, this may affect you horribly...Or not.Parody
1. Ch1 You Wacked My Brain Out

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.1 You Wacked My Brain Out**

**Me: Muwahahahaaa! Time to torture Sora!**

**Sora: AWWW...Why me?**

**Me: Because its the funniest if you go insane.**

**Sora: Why can't you make Goofy go insane? Nobody likes him anyway.**

**Me: Because I am the authoress. And Goofy is messed up enough. Poor guy. And I have the power! ("I Got The Power" comes on.)**

**Sora: Your evil, do you know that?**

**Me: Now why would you say that? (has bloody knife behind back) (heres someone shout "MY LEGS!" painfully in the background.)**

**Sora: Oh, well. Just tell the story.**

**Sora was with Donald, Goofy, and Riku at Traverse Town in the second district. Sora thought it would be fun if him and Riku did old times by battling with wooden swords, to see who was the better keyblader. Riku was stubborn at first. Wooden swords? He thought it was childish, but Sora talked him into it.**

**"Oh, c'mon Riku!"**

**"No, way! Wooden swords is dumb. Why cant we fight with our keyblades?"**

**"Becuase we could damage ourselves with them."**

**"Oh...Cant we use something else? BESIDES wooden swords?"**

**"Wooden swords is the safest though."**

**"Fine, you know what? Just forget it."**

**"Your right. I don't need a battle to prove I could beat you."**

**Riku turned and looked at him daringly.**

**"What did you say?"**

**"Nothing."**

**"Yeah, thats what I thought."**

**"Except the part that I could whoop your ass."**

**"Buuurn!" Donald said jumping up and down excitingly.**

**Riku glared at Donald.**

**"Fine, lets play."**

**He then grabbed the wooden sword. Sora then did the excact same thing. They then started to attack each other. Whack, whack, dodge, whack, roll, whack, dodge, jump, roll, whack, whack, whack, duck, roll...Am I irritating you? Riku then did one mighty leap and whacked the crap out of Sora on the head. He forgot to block. Sora fell over backwards. Riku stopped and ran to him, knowing that he hitted him too hard.**

**"SORA!" Donald and Goofy both yelled.**

**"Are you okay?" Riku asked worringly.**

**Sora got up shakily and his eyes rolled all around in his head.**

**"Yeeeup!" Sora said in a funny voice.**

**"Maybe you should lie down back in one of the hotel rooms." Riku mentioned.**

**"That sounds good." Sora said in the same funny voice and walked to the hotel wobbily.**

**"You guys should go with him." Riku called to Donald and Goofy.**

**They did as they were told. When they were out of site, Riku then let out the gas he was holding.**

**(Back to talking with Sora)**

**Sora: Hee, hee. That was funny what you did with Riku.**

**Me: (nodding) Yeah it was.**

**Riku: I wouldn't do that! YOU ARE ALL DERRANGED!**

**Me: Muwahahaahahaha! I shall torture the people of Kingdom Hearts!**

**(Sora giggles)**

**Riku: Thats creepy. Sora giggles?**

**Sora: A guy can't giggle anymore? Jeez, you people are derranged.**

**Riku: Guys didn't ever giggle anyway.**

**Sora irritated: SHUT UP! (pouts)**

**Me: Tee, hee. This is fun! **


	2. Ch2 I Love Barney

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.2 I Love Barney**

**Me: Hmm, this chapter should be funny.**

**Sora: Why? What are you going to do to me?**

**Me: Look at the title of the chapter.**

**Sora: NA UH! YOU WOULDN'T!**

**Me: Oh...I think I will. (evil look)**

**Sora: I HATE YOU! (runs to room crying and slams the door like a teenage girl)**

**Me: Wow, that was wierd.**

**Riku: I agree. **

**(both nod)**

**Donald and Goofy walked Sora to the green room, and layed him on the bed.**

**"He, acts a little...(gulp) Different." Goofy said to Donald.**

**"Yeah! He got hit pretty hard!" Donald answered.**

**"Maybe it would be best if we leave him for awhile."**

**"Okay!"**

**They left the room. After a few minutes they walked back in. Sora wasn't in the bed. He was sitting on the floor criss-crossed watching T.V. Except the T.V. only had fuzzy snow on it. He was talking to it.**

**"Yeah, their nice."**

**Whisper voices come from the T.V.**

**"Yeah, their here now."**

**Sora doesn't even turn to look at them.**

**"Uh, Sora? Who are you talking to?" Goofy asked.**

**"The T.V. people."**

**"Does this seem familiar to you?" Donald looks at Goofy.**

**"Kind of." He answers.**

**The T.V. then flickers and it changes to the channel with Barney on it. There in the circle singing the "I Love You" song. Sora starts singing along in a scary, innocent voice. Donald and Goofy back away alittle in fear. Whisper voices are heard from the T.V. again.**

**"You want me to do what?" Sora answers to it.**

**More whisper voices.**

**"Okay."**

**Sora turns his head and looks at Donald seductably. Donald's eyes open wide and he shouts.**

**"WHAT DA FUCK!"**

**Sora laughs maniacally. He then starts to unzip his pants. Goofy rushes over to him and stops him. He lifts him up back on his feet.**

**"They want me to." Sora whispers evily.**

**"I don't think its a good idea though Sora." Goofy answers quickly.**

**They then lead him back to bed and turn off the T.V. Then they put the T.V. outside the hotel room. Unless you saw the movie "Poltriguise" or however you spell it, you won't know what I'm talking about. Sora giggles again.**

**"Maybe we should get Riku." Goofy mentions to Donald.**

**Donald just nods in fear as Sora blows another kiss to him.**

**They then walk out to find Riku.**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Sora: You MADE ME GAY!**

**Me: Only with Donald. (in sexy playful voice) You two look great together.**

**(Sora groans)**

**Donald: I...I can't...I can't believe I cussed. I'm a Disney character for crying outloud! This is just FUCKING WRONG! THIS IS SO FUCKED UP!...(covers his bill) OMG! I did it again!**

**Me: I should do this more often! Tee hee!**

**Sora in mocking voice: Tee, hee! TEE HEE! TEEEEEEE HEEEEE!**

**Me in deep voice: Someone needs a midol. **


	3. Ch3 Eat Fresh

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.3 Eat Fresh**

**Me: This is just too fun. I could barely sleep last night thinking about what to make for this chapter. I warn you though. This chapter can be gross, so if you want to hate me about it, please remember that I warned you. This is not for the light-hearted.**

**Sora: Yeah for you, you aren't the one going crazy.**

**Me with evil glint in eye: Oh, I already have.**

**Sora: Uuuuuh...Okaaay...And why?**

**Me in creepy voice: Because...Im not human.**

**Sora: Uuuuuuh...Please just tell the story now.**

**Me in same voice: Gladly.**

**Donald and Goofy ran outside to Riku. Right when they got near him, the both smelled a strage oder of rotten eggs and fish. They both gag, but Riku doesn't notice.**

**"Riku, Sora is acting very wierd in there." Goofy says.**

**"What kind of wierd?"**

**Donald shivers in fear.**

**"Is Donald okay?"**

**"Uh, lets just say Sora now has feelings for him."**

**Riku's eyes opened wide.**

**"And now the T.V. talks to him."**

**"Okay, let me see him."**

**They go to the green room, and there is Sora, tied to the bed with white rope. His skin is a greenish, yellow color. Riku stares as Sora's head spins slowly. Does this remind you of anything else?**

**"Can we go now?" Donald says in fear behind Goofy.**

**"Sora? Are you okay? Again?" Riku asks.**

**Sora turns his head to Riku slowly, while the bones crack in his neck. He then speaks in a whisperish, terrifying, horrible voice.**

**"The army wants you." **

**"What?"**

**"The army WANTS YOU."**

**"Okay Sora stop this. We all know your messing with us."**

**"You all should die in 7 days."**

**"Sora stop it!"**

**He then speaks in a whisperish, light, terrifyed voice.**

**"DON'T GO TO THE LIGHT! DON'T GO TO THE LIGHT TITO! DON'T GO TO THE LIGHT! AAAAAH..."**

**"Who's Tito, Riku?" Goofy asks.**

**"I don't know, but I think I know how to cure him."**

**Riku runs out and comes back with a cup of water. The water is a little warm.**

**"Okay, now I am suppose to put this water on Sora."**

**Riku runs over to Sora and puts his hand in the cup of warm water.**

**"There that should cure him."**

**"Uuuh...Aren't you suppose to flick the water at him?" Donald asks.**

**"That would work too."**

**Sora starts to moan as Riku walks over to him. Right when Riku grabs the cup, Sora pukes out a horrible green liquid at him. (I warned you) **

**"AAAARGH! SO GROSS!" Riku screams.**

**Sora just laughs in a deep demon like voice as his head continues to spin uncontrollably.**

**"Eat fresh!" Sora screams out maniacally and starts laughing again.**

**Riku runs out and comes back with a wooden stake. Goofy and Donald hold Riku down, knowing what he was planning to do. Sora continues to laugh. Riku then gives up and drops the stake, but when Goofy and Donald let go, Riku jumped on Sora and started beating him.**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Riku: YOU AREN'T HUMAN!**

**Me: I know, I already said that.**

**Riku: Wanna know what you are?**

**Me: What?**

**Riku: A BIG MEANIE HEAD!**

**Me: OMG, that was so stupid.**

**(Riku sticks tongue out)**

**Sora: I hate you all.**


	4. Ch4 Topeeka

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.4 Topeeka**

**Me: Hi, theres no horror stuff in this chapter.**

**Sora: Thank god.**

**(Donald is still shivering)**

**Me: You will enjoy this one. After writing that last chapter I feel sick. Man, that was nasty. I guess I am the light hearted. I guess I don't know my own strength with words.**

**Sora: Oh, please, you don't even work out.**

**Me: I SAID WITH WORDS YOU IDIOT! Man, don't you ever listen?**

**Sora: Oh, please, you don't even listen at school.**

**Me: SHUT UP! (acts like nothing happened and speaks in cheery, girly voice) Okay! (claps**

**hands together) Lets start the story!**

**Riku starts beating up Sora in the bed and then Donald and Goofy pull Riku off. Riku breathes heavy.**

**"Okay...(breath)...We need to...(breath)...Bring him to Aeris."**

**"Your right, she could help him." Goofy answers.**

**They all then get Sora on the gummi ship and fly to Hollow Bastion. They then get to Aeris and sat him down in a chair, so she could examine him. He just looked out blankley and smiled with his eyes opened wide as she walked slowly around him.**

**"Hmmmmm..." She said watching him.**

**Sora then opened his mouth.**

**"It is HOT in Topeeka."**

**All were confused.**

**"Topeeeeeekaaaaa."**

**Still confused.**

**"My toe is hot...Peek it."**

**Sora points at his toe and shouts insanely.**

**"PEEK IT!"**

**Unless you watch Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends, you wont know what I am talking about. **

**"PEEK IT!"**

**Sora falls off the chair in excitement with a loud thud and doesn't move.**

**"Yep, he lost it." Aeris said right after he fell.**

**Sora's leg twitches. Aeris goes over to him, sits him back on the chair and gets him to open his mouth, so she can look in it. She sees something tiny and blue hiding behind his molars. It then runs to the next side of his mouth and jumps down. She gets a magnafine glass and it looks like a smurf. She gets closer and sees it had a paddle ball. She gets tweezers and pulls it out. Its Bloo. Bloo speaks in a fast, tiny, sqeaker voice.**

**"Put me down, let me go, let me paddle, put me down right now, I'll kill you in your sleep, put me down!"**

**She then flicks the blue speck with her finger. **

**"Well that explains why its hot in topeeka" She says.**

**Sora starts to drool. Leon/Sqauwl walks in behind him. **

**"Hey Sora! What are you doing her?" He calls.**

**Before anyone can answer, Sora turns his head all the way around without moving his body.**

**"To still your nuts."**

**"WHAT?'**

**"I want your nuts."**

**"Sora, I don't understand?"**

**"Your nuts are crunchy...I want'em."**

**Leon/Squawl backs up.**

**"Sora, got banged in the head by Riku on accident, and now he has gone loony." Aeris answers quickly.**

**Sora stares at Leon and licks his lips in a creepy way. **

**"Well...I guess I'll go." Leon says nervously and walks out the door.**

**Sora turns his head back around to face the right way. He then looks at Aeris with his googly expression.**

**"Peek my toe...It is HOT."**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Me: (sigh of relief) Sweet revenge.**

**Sora:...That was just wierd.**

**(Riku nods)**

**Leon/Sqauwl: My nuts aren't crunchy.**

**(everyone looks at him wierdly.)**

**Leon/Squawl: What?**

**Me: Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**

**(Donald still shivers)**

**Me: Oh, C'mon get over it!**


	5. Ch5 Peeping Sora

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.5 Peeping Sora**

**Sora: Oh, god, what are you going to make me do now?**

**Me: I cant tell you, it's a surprise.**

**Riku: Nothing will happen to me though...Right?**

**Me: Now, nothing will happen to you.**

**Riku in triumphent voice: OH YEAH! WHOO HOO! **

**Me: But theres always the next chapter.**

**(Riku stops)**

**Sora pointing: HA HA!**

**Me: Don't get too excited Sora. You have a long way to go, before you get you head back.**

**Sora: (GULP)**

**Riku pointing: HA HA!**

**"Maybe Sora should lie down." Aeris suggested.**

**"Nu uh, we tried that and it turned into the excersist." Riku said, remebering the horrible moment.**

**"Well, someone can watch him. After what I saw, he needs to rest."**

**They all then helped Sora to the nearest bedroom and layed him down. He was very quiet. Riku was the only one brave enough to watch him. After awhile, Sora still didn't move and Riku was sick on his stomach. The puke in chapter 3 did it. He got up and ran to the bathroom. Sora then got up and walked over to the bathroom. He put his head up against the door and heard gagging noises. He then continued to walk down the hall. He got to another bathroom door and heard someone taking a shower. He snuck inside the hot, misty, foggy bathroom and saw a sillowette of a man behind the curtain. He got closer to the curtain and heard the person mumbling.**

**"I do not have crunchy nuts, I do not have crunchy nuts." Said the mumbling voice.**

**Sora snuck in behind the person and saw it was Leon and his shiny, bare butt. He slapped it and ducked down. When Leon turned around in fright...Lets just say something slapped Sora in the face. It wasn't Leon's hand either. Leon screamed like a little girl and used the shower curtain to cover himself. Sora's eyes were huge in excitement.**

**"SORA GET OUT!" Leon yelled.**

**Riku heard the voice echo from the halls and ran to that bathroom. All he saw was Sora in a pouncing position and Leon covering with the shower curtain trembling. **

**"What da?"**

**Sora licked his lips in a creepy way again. Riku grabbed Sora by the arm and dragged him out of the bathroom, back into the bed. Poor Leon was traumatized. Sora just had a perverted look on his face, he didn't even talk.**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Sora: EEEEEW! I would not do that, even if I was crazy!**

**Leon sniffling: I...I feel so dirty. Why?**

**Me: Hee, hee, ha, ha hee! I love this!**

**Aeris: You can do what ever you want, just don't make Sora touch Cloud. I love him.**

**Me: Wow, thats a great idea. I think I will.**

**Aeris: (GASP) You wouldn't!**

**Me: Yeah your right. I don't want to make Sora that perverted. Just enough to be funny.**

**Sora: YOU THINK THIS IS A JOKE!**

**Me: Uuuuh...It seems like one.**

**Sora: WELL IF IT IS! ITS A SICK JOKE!**

**Leon still in disbelief: Why did I do that?...I just had to turn around. WHY ME!**

**Me: Well, lets see what the next chapter is about! If I updated yet.**


	6. Ch6 Leon Throws A Fit

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.6 Leon Throws A Fit**

**Leon: I DO NOT THROW FITS!**

**Me: Then what was that?**

**(Sora giggles again)**

**Riku: Why do you giggle?**

**(Sora stops and frowns)**

**Leon: I JUST GET MAD THATS ALL!**

**Me: Well, just calm down, your hurting my ears.**

**Leon: AAAAAAAAARGH!**

**(Leon turns into the incredible Hulk)**

**Me: READ THE STORY BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!**

**Leon stomps into Sora's bedroom with only a towel on. His face is red with anger, but he does look a little scared.**

**"I WANT HIM OUT OF HERE!" Leon shouts.**

**"Leon, he needs help, thats why we brought him here. As soon as he is cured, then we leave."**

**"BUT HE...Uuuuh...TOUCHED ME!"**

**"And I won't let him do it again. Just stay away from him."**

**Sora laughs like he's high on drugs. He then speaks.**

**"I see Saturn, I see Venus. I see Leon's little pe-"**

**"IT'S NOT LITTLE! Its just a short...Thats all." Leon interrupted.**

**"Whatever." Riku said dully.**

**"AND DONT YOU TELL ANYONE EITHER! Especially Yuffie."**

**Sora gets the biggest evil smile on his face.**

**"Oh, no." Leon groaned.**

**Sora gets up real quick and runs to the door, but Riku stops him.**

**"I WANT CHOCOLATE MILK!" Sora screams wildly.**

**"CHOCOLATE MILK!"**

**"He's lying! Don't let him leave!" Leon shouts.**

**"Don't worry I won't."**

**Sora falls to the ground and giggles while rolling around in circles. He starts to sing his little chant again. The one about how little Leon's-**

**"IT'S NOT LITTLE!" Leon screams at the narrator.**

**Whatever.**

**"AAAAAARGH!"**

**They finally got Sora back in bed and got Leon calmed down. Right then Aeris walked in and Leon turned around to look at her.**

**"What was all the screaming earlier?" She asked.**

**Thats when Sora jumped out of bed behind Leon and pulled his towel off of him, revealing little Leon to Aeris and Riku.**

**"I TOLD YOU ITS NOT LITTLE!"**

**(back to talking with Sora.)**

**Leon: Why are you all so mean!**

**(looks around at everyone in pain)**

**Sora: (moan) You were the one that beated the crap out of us.**

**Me: OW...(moan)...I hope you enjoyed this. Because if you didn't. It wasn't worth it to get beaten up for it. **


	7. Ch7 SpongeSora

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.7 SpongeSora**

**Me: Hi! I got this chapter from watching Spongebob.**

**Sora: My faith depends on a stupid kiddie show?**

**Me: Its not stupid! Well, a little. But its funny stupid.**

**Riku: No, its just stupid.**

**Me: Who asked you?**

**Riku: You can't control what I say!**

**(evil smile)**

**(snaps fingers and Riku's mouth becomes zipped up)**

**Riku: Mmmmm? Hmmhmmm! MMMMMMMMMMM!**

**Me: Muwahahahahahaha!**

**Sora: (giggle)**

**After Riku and Aeris got over the sight, it was time for dinner. Aeris had to feed Sora in bed, becuase if Sora fed himself, with his head injury and all, he would put the food in the wrong hole...What? Whats so funny? I mean like he could drink water through his nose. Man, you people are gross. After the feeding was done, Sora took a nap. As again, Riku thought it was safe to leave. After a few minutes, Riku came back to check on him. He saw a giant hump under the bed. He slowly walked over to it. He then slid the covers slowly down. A pink triangle with 2 googly eyes and a mouth popped out.**

**"Here I am!" The thing said in a deep childish voice.**

**Riku shreiked in fright.**

**"OMG! WHAT IS THAT THING!" **

**He then got out his keyblade and started banging the triangle over the head, again and a again. When he stopped the triangle just made a funny face, with goofy teeth sticking out. Thats when Sora popped his head out.**

**"Hello!" He said in a cheery voice.**

**"HEY! You aren't Spongebob!" The pink triangle said in a betrayed voice.**

**Riku felt sick again as he clenched his stomach. The pink triangle and Sora hopped out. The pink triangle was really a star. They were wearing their clothes. Riku sighed in relief. His sickness was going away. The T.V. turned on and had that snowy fuzz on it again. More whisper voices were heard from it. They all turned to look at it, with blank expressions on their faces. Then this yellow square walked out of the T.V. and it turned off. The square talked in an annoying high-pitched voice.**

**"Patrick!" The square called.**

**"Spongebob!" The star called.**

**They then ran to each other and hugged, followed by a squeak noise. Riku was about to vomet. Sora giggles and his eyes fall out and roll on the ground in circles. Riku screams. He woke up in the chair in Sora's bedroom. It was just a dream. He then looked to where Sora would be laying and saw he wasn't in bed.**

**(back to talking with Sora.)**

**Me: YAY! (claps hands like a child) A mystery!**

**Sora sarcastically: Wow...I wonder where I'm hiding.**

**Riku: If it turns out he flushed himself down the toilet, I'm not going to be the one to go get him.**

**Me: AAAAW! You ruined the next chapter! Now I have to think of something else! (slaps Riku on the shoulder, not even enough to make him flinch.)**

**Riku: What the freak was that?**

**Me: YEAH! IT HURTS DOESN'T IT!**

**Riku: Uuuh...No.**

**Me: YEAH AFRAID TO ADMIT IT HURTS!...Wait...Didn't I zip your mouth closed? (glares at Sora)**

**Sora: He tried to give me a wedgie, if I didn't!**

**Me: Fine...I'll get you both in the next chapter.**


	8. Ch8 Battle Stations

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.8 Battle Stations**

**Sora: I'm afraid to ask whats going to happen, with your revenge thing and all.**

**Riku: (gulp)**

**Me: MUWAHAHAHAHAHAAA! (cough) Muwaha...**

**Sora: Please just read the story before you do another one of your horrible, fake evil laughs.**

**Me: MUWAHAHA!**

**Sora: No, seriously stop.**

**Me: Now just for that, this chapter about you is going to be more embarrassing...MUWAHA!**

**Riku looked under the bed, in the closet, in the trunk, and in the desk. Nothing. Sora wasn't still in the room. He then saw Sora's clothes in the bed sheets. He picked up the remains of his friend and began to cry. He then heard childish humming coming from the hall. Before Riku could go, he grabbed Sora's underwear and stuffed it in his pocket.**

**"Uuuh, uuum...For safe keeping." Riku explained to the readers.**

**He then began to follow the mysterious humming. It led to the bathroom door. He went inside and saw writing on the walls, that looked like written with cheap red lipstick. They read, "Sora was here."**

**"OMG! Sora was here!" Riku exclaimed.**

**He then heard the humming coming from the bathtub, and he slowly walked towards it. He slowly removed the curtain. There was Sora, butt-naked in a bathtub filled with sand, and it looks like he was making sand castles.**

**"I have sand in places I have never had before!" Sora says with a loony smile on his face. **

**Riku turns pale. **

**"Sora, get out...NOW."**

**"You get out."**

**"Huh?"**

**"YOU...GET...OUT."**

**"Well, okay, you don't have to put it so meanly." Riku then walks out of the bathroom, until he realized he had been fooled. **

**He ran back in and saw the bathtub empty, except for sand and the sand castles. The window was open. **

**"Oh, no."**

**Riku then runs over to the bathtub filled with sand. He begins to sniff it pervertedly.**

**"Oh, yeah...OH YEAH!...Thats good."**

**Riku stops what hes doing, knowing that BlueEyedFun is writing everything down, so everyone can read.**

**"Uuuuh...I was seeing if...Uuuuh...Sora didn't soil himself again." Riku explains to the readers again.**

**He then jumps out the window to find Sora. While Riku was going through that whole thing, Sora was running around the castle naked. He then hears evil laughter echoing through out Hollow Bastion.**

**"MUWAAHAHAHAHAAA!" The voice is heard from the sky.**

**"Is that you Jesus?" Sora answers stupidly.**

**"NO! THIS IS I! I AM-"**

**"Oz?"**

**"NO! I AM-**

**"Lord?"**

**"NO! FOR THE LAST TIME I AM-"**

**"The authoress?"**

**"YES! But I prefer THE ALL POWERFUL AUTHORESS better."**

**"Hmmm...That makes sense."**

**'NOW! DO YOU KNOW WHAT I AM GOING TO DO TO YOU?"**

**"No...What?"**

**"GO IN THAT DOOR BEHIND YOU."**

**"Okay." Sora walks in the door behind him. It leads to a stage and some big headed kid is talking in a mic.**

**"As numbah one of secter A, I have finally come up with a plan to defeat the adults!" The kid says.**

**Sora walks up behind him and all these kids in the audience and off stage are staring with disbelief. The kid feels something poking him where his tail bone is. He turned around and looked.**

**"OMG!" The kid screamed, as a horrible worm on Sora continued to attack him.**

**"KIDS NEXT DOOR! BATTLE STATIONS!" He cried.**

**They all got out their handmade weapons and attacked, but the horrible worm was too powerful and knocked the weapons out of their hands. Finally the kids all ran out the EXIT door screaming. **

**"Why did they leave?" Sora asks and looks up at the ceiling.**

**"Maybe you should follow them." The All Powerful Authoress answers.**

**Right then Riku walks in and grabs Sora by the arm.**

**"There you are! C'mon lets get you back in bed."**

**Sora nods and walks with Riku.**

**(back with talking to Sora.)**

**Sora: I feel so ashamed! A HORRIBLE WORM?**

**Me: I love revenge.**

**Riku: I AM NOT LIKE THAT! I would not steal boy's underwear and then sniff where they have sat naked. THAT IS SICK!**

**Me: Did I mention how much I love revenge?**

**Sora sarcastically: No you haven't.**

**Me: Oh...Then I love revenge.**


	9. Ch9 Mind Reader

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.9 Mind Reader**

**Sora: I wonder what this title will mean. Hopefully nothing bad right?**

**Me: Actually its going to be something cool.**

**Riku: But bad right?**

**(Goofy walks in mad)**

**Goofy: I have been in the first 3 chapters and I STILL HAVEN'T GOT TO GO ON "Talking With Sora."**

**Me: Well, you have nothing to say anyway.**

**Goofy: YEAH I DO!**

**Me: What?**

**Goofy:...Hmmmm...Well...Nice weather were having.**

**Sora: I know, isn't it great!**

**(Riku nudges Sora)**

**Riku: Don't even play along.**

**Me: Okay, lets start the story!**

**Goofy: WAIT! I want to say-**

**(story already starts)**

**The next day, Aeris ran into Sora's room with the most biggest smile on her face and a purple liquid in a glass bottle in her hand.**

**"Sora! I have a potion for you! It will cure you!"**

**"THE CURE KILLED THE CAT!" Sora screams and backs all the way to the front of his bed.**

**"Actually it's curiosity killed the cat...Which you have been getting into lately." Riku says remembering having to see Sora naked.**

**Sora calms down and lets Aeris give him the potion. He gulps it all down. He then starts to twitch and he does extreme yoga stuff on the bed. He then stops and lies there. He wakes up.**

**"Oh, my head...What happened?" Sora moans.**

**"You don't want to know." Riku and Aeris said at the same time.**

**"Just to make sure Sora, which one of us turns you on?" Riku asks.**

**"Ew!" Sora says.**

**"Uuuuh...Aeris?"**

**"Yep, hes cured!" Riku says in delight.**

**Later that day Sora felt a strange tingle in his head at dinner. He looked over to Aeris and he heard her talk without moving her lips. **

**"Cloud needs to appreciate me more often. I cook this WHOLE entire dinner and he just had to bring McDonald's on the way home! If he really wants a HAPPY MEAL, then he should satisfy me better!"**

**Sora just looks away. That was weird. He then looked over to Goofy, who didn't move his lips either.**

**"The All Powerful Authoress is mean! All ask is to say one thing and they cut me off! And why do all the Disney characters look way better than me? This is messed up."**

**Sora then looks at Donald.**

**"Do not cuss, do not cuss, do not cuss, do not cuss, do not cuss. Do not fucken cuss...OMG!"**

**Sora looks at Leon.**

**"My nuts aren't crunchy and my baby maker is not little. And I am the most handsomest man in the world!...MUWAHAHAHAHAA!...Oh...What am I kidding."**

**Sora looks over at Yuffie.**

**"STUPID MUTANT NINJA TURTLES! HOW DARE THEY MOCK THE ART OF NINJA...Ummm..Ninja hood...Yeah thats it...BUT HOW DARE THEY! I ATE A TURTLE BEFORE AND I CAN EAT ONE AGAIN!"**

**Sora looks over to Cloud.**

**"Somewhere over the rainbow! Somewhere high! Somewhere we'll be together! Somewhere up high! I don't get that song. Does that mean she's going to commit suicide?"**

**Sora then looks over at Riku.**

**"I GOTTA FART! I CANT HOLD IT! Maybe it will come out silent...There...Its out."**

**Sora just scrunched himself up in his seat. This was too creepy. Could he read minds? (gasp)**

**(back to talking with Sora.)**

**Aeris: Okay...First of all...I do feel that way, but the happy meal part is a lie. For your information me and Cloud have a wonderful sex life!**

**Yuffie: If you mean by wonderful, you mean keeping me up at night! I CAN HERE YOU BREATHE IN THE OTHER ROOM! And I hear cowboy noises and skin slapping, and I am just too afraid to ask!**

**Leon: Well...I don't have crunchy nuts, and I don't have a little baby maker! And I am very handsome!**

**Cloud: Does Dorothy want to commit suicide?**

**Yuffie: It is true about the ninja turtles though...**

**Riku: YOU MAKE IT SEEM LIKE I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH FARTING!**

**Donald in crazy voice: Well, I don't have a problem.**

**Sora: You guys are weird...**

**Me: Well on to the next chapter! If I updated yet...Errr...Depends.**

**Goofy: Wait! I didn't get to talk y- (chapter ends)**


	10. Ch10 The Dark Figure Out The Window

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.10 The Dark Figure Out The Window**

**Me: TEE HEE! This one is going to be funny!**

**Riku: And whats funny to her, is bad for us.**

**Sora: (gulp)**

**Me: It's not that bad you guys.**

**Riku: But you'll find a way to make it bad.**

**Me: Wanna know what is funny Riku?**

**Riku: What?**

**Me: I kissed you on my bestfriend's big screen T.V. today! **

**Riku: (blushes wildly) You WHAT?**

**Sora: Riku and BlueEyedFun, sitten in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes-**

**Riku: STOP IT!**

**Me: Tee hee!**

**Sora thought about it when he was sleeping. Maybe he was puting those things inside his head. But why? He would ask all his friends about it at breakfast in the morning. Soon morning came and Sora joined his friends at breakfast, like he said he would. Right in the middle of breakfast, when he was about to open his mouth he heard Aeris talk without moving her mouth like he saw last night.**

**"I wonder what that dark figure outside my window was last night when I was changing...Hmmm...Maybe it was a squirrel."**

**He then heard Yuffie talk.**

**"I wonder what that dark figure outside Aeris's window was last night. It sure did scare me when I looked out MY window and saw it crouching down near her window...Maybe it was an owl."**

**He then heard Riku.**

**"I hope Aeris doesn't know I was the dark figure outside her window."**

**Wow, Riku is a pervert, Sora thought. He then couldn't take it anymore.**

**"Guys! I think I can read minds."**

**"WHAT?" Everyone asked.**

**"Aeris, I think that potion you gave me cured me, but now I can read minds."**

**"Uh, oh." Aeris said.**

**Sora then heard Riku think.**

**"I hope Sora didn't hear what I said about me being the dark figure...Or last night."**

**Sora then began to speak.**

**"And Riku was the dark figure outside your window Aeris."**

**"WHAT!" Aeris's face turned red with anger and humiliation.**

**"YOU PERVERT!" She then got out of her seat to tackle Riku, but Yuffie holded her down.**

**"SORA! YOU JERK!" Riku yelled at him.**

**"Hee, hee." Sora said with an evil smile.**

**Aeris finally calmed down. **

**"Okay Sora, I'll try to find ANOTHER cure for you tonight, but for now, please ignore our thoughts."**

**Sora nodded. It was going to be tough though. He heard Riku think again.**

**"Sora better watch out. I have a little plan to get at him with. Muwahahaha..."**

**"I HEARD THAT RIKU!" Sora says outloud.**

**Riku just puts his head down fast and continues eating like nothing happened. Sora sighed. Trying not to read minds was going to be tough.**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Me: See! Wasn't that funny!**

**Riku sarcastically: Hilarious...**

**Sora: (giggle)**

**Riku: Why are you giggling again?**

**Sora: You two just look so good together! (giggle)**

**Riku: WHY I OUGHTA!**

**(BlueEyedFun hugs Riku)**

**Me in cheery voice: OH COME ON RIKU! Cheer up!**

**Riku: Why do you NOW have feelings for me?**

**Me: I don't really know...Cause I kissed you!**

**(Sora starts to sing the sitting in a tree song again)**

**Riku: I SAID STOP IT!**


	11. Ch11 Kairi Is Mean

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.11 Kairi Is Mean**

**Sora: What are you planning to make Kairi do?**

**Me:...Nothing.**

**Sora: No you aren't! If you make something bad happen to her! If you do-**

**Me: Sora its just a story! ITS NOT REAL!**

**Sora: But...But...Its SO embarrassing! My rep has gone down 2 points becuase of you!**

**Riku: Mine hasn't gone down yet.**

**Me: Because you kissed me! And I'm so popular!**

**Riku:...No! And besides! You didn't kiss the real me.**

**Sora: Shes in her fantasy world again.**

**(BlueEyedFun hits Sora in the stomach)**

**Sora woke up the next morning and opened his door to go down stairs. When he opened it, he saw Kairi about to knock on it.**

**"K-K-K-Kairi!" He stuttered.**

**"Sora!" She said happily.**

**"Uuuuuum...Why are you here?"**

**"Riku, called me."**

**RIKU! Sora thought. He did this? He was planning something.**

**"I just wanted to say hi." She said akwardly.**

**"Well...Uh...I better go eat breakfast now."**

**"Okay."**

**Sora rushed downstairs, Kairi followed anyway. As he was walking down the stairs, he heard a voice behind him.**

**"Sora sure does have a cute butt."**

**He turned around on the stairs and saw Kairi, who bumped into him and he fell down the stairs.**

**"SORA!" She shreiked.**

**When he finally stopped rolling she ran down to him. He looked at her with eyes of pain.**

**"Sora! Are you okay?" She asked lovingly.**

**Wow, Sora thought. She really cares about me. He then heard her think.**

**"Sora is such a kluts."**

**"I AM NOT!" He shouted at her.**

**"Huh?"**

**He heard her think again.**

**"Did I say that outloud?"**

**"Uuuuuh...No."**

**"WHAT?"**

**"I mean...Uuuuh...No I don't think I'm okay. I hurt my ankle a bit."**

**They finally go to the entry hall and Riku was there with a smirk on his face. Right when Kairi saw Riku, Sora heard her think.**

**"Riku is SOOO HOT!"**

**Sora's eyes open wide. What? Shes suppose to love ME! Sora thought.**

**"Nice to see you Kairi." Riku said.**

**"Nice to see you too." Kairi said in return. **

**Sora heard her think again.**

**"Nice to see that bulge in your pants."**

**OMG! KAIRI LOVES RIKU? Sora couldn't believe it. He then heard Riku think.**

**"Muwahahahaa...I wonder if Kairi is thinking anything about me. She is isn't she Sora? Muwahahahahahaha!"**

**Sora only frowned and glared at Riku. Riku smiled deviously, knowing that Sora heard him. Aeris then ran in laughing and screaming, with only a braw and underwear on. Everyone eyes opened wide. Riku's buldge was getting bigger. Chasing Aeris was Cloud with underwear on his head, covering his eyes.**

**"I AM THE UNDERWEAR MONSTER! I SHALL TAKE YOU UNDERWEAR OFF WITH MY TEETH!"**

**Cloud then peeked through the underwear and saw where he was. He quickly took it off and blushed. **

**"Uuuuuuuh..." Cloud said nervously.**

**"Oops." Aeris said, knowing that she ran all the way here.**

**"I got carried away." She said laughing a little.**

**Riku was covering his huge buldge with both hands. **

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Cloud: You made me an Aeris do that? WHY!**

**Me: Hee, hee!**

**Kairi: I LOVE SORA! NOT RIKU!**

**Riku: What does that suppose to mean?**

**Sora: HA HA! I KNEW IT!**

**Riku: And why did you make me get turned on? **

**Me: Hee, hee! Yay! I kissed Riku and made another chapter!**

**Riku: YOU DID NOT KISS THE REAL ME! **


	12. Ch12 Sora vs Riku

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.12 Sora v.s. Riku**

**Me: Hi! I started school yesterday! Which is 8-14-06. Incase you need the date! I like it! I'm in 7th grade now! YAY! And I think my old crush likes me. Just to let you know, this chapter is going to be nasty.**

**Sora: Hooray! She finally got a life!**

**Me: I have so had a life before school!**

**Sora: Doing what?**

**Me: Kissing Riku. (pulls out a picture of Riku only in his breifs and starts to make out with it.)**

**(Riku notices and grabs the picture out of her hands.)**

**Me: HEY! THATS MINE!**

**Riku: WHERE DA FUCK DID YOU GET THIS?**

**Me:...Uuuuuuuh...Internet. (hides camera behind back)**

**(Sora starts rolling on the ground giggling like crazy)**

**(Riku stuffs the picture in his pocket)**

**Riku: This better be the last.**

**Me: Oh, no! I made copies! (comes back with a truck load of pictures and dumps it on Riku)**

**Sora: I...CANT...BREATHE...GIGGLING...TOO...MUCH!**

**The whole day Kairi was there, Sora only saw her gazing at Riku and hearing her sick, sexual comments about him in her head. Sora was going to make Kairi love him again and hate Riku. The first plan, Sora read Kairi's head. She was thinking she was going to grab Riku's hand unerneith the table. Riku was between Sora and Kairi. Sora quickly put a jolly buzzer on Riku's hand and thats when Kairi went to grab it. Kairi completely jumped out of her chair and her hair went everywhere. There was a (ZTZTZTZZTZTZ) then a (POOF). Kairi looked at Riku's hand and glared at him. Sora tried his best not to smile. Later when Riku walked by Sora, Sora heard Riku think. **

**"I hope Sora doesn't look up, then that will ruin the whole plan."**

**Sora laughed evily in his mind and looked up. Kairi then walked in. She stood in front of him and randomly started talking. Sora went to walk closer to her, but felt this wierd force on his feet and he fell on her. He looked at his feet and saw his shoes were tied together.**

**"SORA!" Kairi yelped.**

**He heard her complain about him in her head. Sora aplogized and heard Riku snickering from behind him. Later at night Sora was making a sub sandwhich in the kitchen. Riku walked in.**

**"Riku, would you like to try my sandwhich?"**

**"Nuh, uh, you did something to it."**

**"No I didn't! Look!"**

**Sora took a bite out of the sandwhich that didn't have the stuff he put in at the other side. Riku believed him and ate the other half of the sandwhich.**

**"It tastes funny." Riku mentioned.**

**"Oh, its just that its cold, and the white cheese is causing the taste." Sora said without breaking a sweat.**

**Sora knew what was in that sandwhich that he gave to Riku. He read Kairi's mind before that she was going to kiss him, and luckily she gave a time in her head. In Riku's half it had the same thing Sora had in his, BUT it had crushed up laxatives in it, lots of onions, out of date blue cheese, and cubes of dead fish he found. He was surprised Riku actually ate it. Later Kairi walked up to Riku in the entry way. Sora was hidden behind the stairs watching the whole thing. He heard them talking and then heard Riku thinking. **

**"Oh, god, I feel sick!"**

**Sora smiled evily from the stair way. He then saw Kairi lean in and kiss him. As they were kissing, she had a painful look on her face. She broke away from the kissing. She started to gag. Right then Riku couldn't hold it and a giant blow was heard from his pants. Kairi shreaked as a strange liquid sprayed on her and a smell that could make you want to kill yourself just to get away from it. Sora broke down laughing, but no one noticed him. Yuffie ran in and talked.**

**"Guys, I heard a noise, is everything ok-"**

**She passed out from the smell.**

**(back to talking with Sora.)**

**Riku: I DID THAT? IN FRONT OF KAIRI? NOW THE PICS, THEN THIS?**

**(Sora's head falls off from laughing hard)**

**Sora: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!**

**Me:..(sniff)...Poor Yuffie.**

**(Sora finally stops laughing)**

**Sora: Is she going to die?**

**Me:...(starts to cry)...Yes.**

**(Sora giggles crazily again)**

**Sora: SHE DIED FROM RIKU'S GAS! HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE!**

**Riku: SHUT UP! Tell him Yuffie's not going to die!**

**Me: He's right Sora...Yuffie isn't dead.**

**Riku: THANK YOU!**

**Me: She's disinigrated! (Starts joining Sora in the rolling on the ground giggling process.)**

**Riku: YOU ALL CAN GO TO HELL! I HATE YOU! (storms off)**

**(Me and Sora are still giggling side by side.) **


	13. Ch13 Dreaming or Reality

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.13 Dreaming Or Reality**

**Me: Hi everyone! I have bad news...**

**Sora: Uh, oh...What?**

**Me: (sniff) Riku had to go.**

**Sora: Wait...Riku left us?**

**Me: Yes...(starts to cry)**

**Sora: Why?**

**Me: He didn't say.**

**Sora: Well...WHOO HOO!**

**(does little dance)**

**Me still crying: RIIIIIIIKUUUU!**

**Sora opened his eyes the next morning. He was in a different room. His room, the one in Destiny Islands. He looked around. He looked at himself. He was younger. The age when he got the keyblade. 14 years old. He hopped out of bed and ran out shakily. Was it all a dream? He saw Riku and Kairi by the shore and ran to them. They heard him and turned around to look at him. They were their younger selves.**

**"Guys, tell me...Is this a dream?"**

**Riku and Kairi looked at him both shocked.**

**"Guys?"**

**Kairi then began to talk.**

**"Sora...Your back!"**

**A smile spreaded across her face.**

**"Huh? What do you mean back?"**

**Riku speaked too.**

**"Sora, you probably don't know this...But...You were in a coma for the last 5 months."**

**"WHAT?"**

**Kairi ran and hugged Sora.**

**"I'm so glad your back!" Kairi shouted out of joy.**

**Sora looked at both of them. He couldn't read their minds. Does this mean, it was all just a dream? No Donald? No Goofy? No anybody? No worlds? No keyholes? No keyblades? No-- this is getting annoying, huh? Hee, hee. Sora was astonished. HE was in a COMA?**

**"I'm so happy!" Kairi shreaked.**

**Riku just smiles.**

**"Your dad is going to be happy to see you too!" Kairi shreaks again.**

**"Wha?"**

**Kairi grabbed Sora by the hand and ran with him, Riku following. They all went to a small log house and opened the door. Ansem was sitting on a couch, with a beer in his hand, and only in his boxers. He speaks in a lazy voice.**

**"Son, your back! Now come give your old man a hug!" **

**Sora then screams.**

**"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"**

**Sora's eyes popped wide open, showing him his room in Hollow Bastion.**

**"That was a dream?" He says to himself.**

**He sees Aeris in a chair fast asleep by his bed.**

**"Aeris?"**

**She wakes up.**

**"Sora! Your back!"**

**"Not again..."**

**"I gave you a potion to stop the mind reading, and you past out on me."**

**"So...This isn't a dream?"**

**Sora pinches himself. He could feel it. He quickly smiles.**

**"Does this mean I am FINALLY cured?"**

**"Well..."**

**Sora goes to run his fingers through his hair. He only feels skin. He gets up and looks in the nearest mirror. Hes bald.**

**"AERIS!"**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Sora in tuney voice: Riku's gone! Riku IS GONE! RIKU IS GONE! Weeee!**

**Me: WHA! I MISS RIKU!**

**(Riku walks in)**

**Riku: Hey guys.**

**Me: Riku! I thought you left! (hugs him)**

**Riku: ARG! GET OFF ME! And I did say I had to go!**

**Me: BUT WHY?**

**Riku: I said I had to go...TO THE BATHROOM!**

**Sora: HEE HEE HA HA TEE HEE!**

**Riku: What's so funny?**

**Sora: That kind of ties in to your "going" problem.**

**(continues to laugh)**

**Riku: YOU LITTLE!**

**(Looks down on BlueEyedFun still holding on to his waist)**

**Riku: Would you get OFF?**


	14. Ch14 Feel The Burn Of Drunk Retards

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.14 Feel The Burn Of Drunk Retards**

**Sora: I was so excited about Riku leaving and laughing, I forgot to-**

**Riku: I didn't really leave, its just that MY MESSENGER heard wrong. (looks at BlueEyedFun)**

**Me:...Huh?...Oh sorry! Tee hee! I'm YOUR messenger? I feel so special! (has proud look on face)**

**Riku:...?**

**Sora: As I was SAYING...You made me bald and I hate you.**

**Me: So...Anything new?**

**Sora: Hmmm...No, thats it!**

**Me: Okay, lets start the story!**

**Riku: WAIT! Wasn't I suppose to hurt Sora for what he said in the last chapter?**

**Me: Oh yeah! Go ahead!**

**(Riku cracks his knuckles and smirks at Sora)**

**Sora: (gulp)...Uuuh...Heh, heh...About that...Uuuh...BYE BYE! (runs off)**

**Riku: Come back you little twerp! (runs after him)**

**As Sora looked in the mirror he saw Aeris walking slowly to the door to get away from him.**

**"NOT SO FAST AERIS!" Sora says in rage.**

**Aeris froze.**

**"How are we going to fix THIS?" Sora points to his now bald head.**

**"Well Sora, its going to take me awhile to find another potion."**

**"I cant show myself LIKE THIS!"**

**Aeris simply looks down at her feet. Sora saw she felt real bad about it.**

**"Aeris, I'm sorry...I over reacted. I'll find away to cover this up until you find a potion."**

**Aeris smiled and nodded. She then walked out the door.**

**"I hope." Sora murmers.**

**He looked at himself again in the mirror. If he ever needed a job, maybe he could become one of those silent "blue men." Or maybe he could become a flash light or a mirror. His head was very shiny now. He decided he would go wig shopping, alone though. He grabbed a baseball cap and rushed downstairs before anyone could see him. He saw that Kairi must be leaving, because all her stuff was by the entrance. No time to say goodbye now. He got into the gummi ship and flew off. As he flew in the gummi ship he past by old worlds. To his amazement their was actually a wig world. He landed on it. He saw that everyone was either bald or wore wigs. He took his cap off with no worry. He then went up to a man wearing a wig.**

**"Excuse me sir, but how do I find wigs for men?"**

**The man only laughed and walked away. Sora then saw that a wigstore for men was behind the man. Boy, that was sure stupid of him. Sora walked in and saw wigs of every size, color, shape, texture, and creature...Wait...Creature? It turns out some of the wigs were in the shape of animals, and they were alive...Weird. Sora tried on a wig that looked like one of the band members of KIZZ would wear. He looked in the mirror, stuck out his tongue, and did the rock sign with his hand. He started to shake his head up and down. People started to stare at him. Sora stopped and took off the wig. A fat man wearing a very stylish outfit came up to him.**

**"Can I help you?" The man asked.**

**"Well, I got bald and I am looking for a wig that looks like my old hair."**

**"What does you old hair look like? Do you have a picture?"**

**Sora remebered the album. He quickly got a good picture of himself and showed the man.**

**"Oh, we have plenty of those." The man said.**

**He then led Sora to the back room. When Sora came in from behind, his eyes almost fell out. Piled high in the whole entire room was millions-- no I'm sorry-- TRILLIONS of wigs that looked like Sora's old hair. Sora almost fainted. **

**"When you find one you like, just come to me!" The man said in a tuney voice and walked out.**

**Sora didn't know where to look. So many wigs. After a while of long searching, Sora finally found the wig he was looking for. He went back to the man and bought it. Sora was happy as he could ever be and left the world, back to Hollow Bastion. When he arrived at the front entrace he saw Riku and Cloud messing around. Riku was bending over and Cloud had a lighter near Riku's butt. His butt was facing Sora...Uh, oh. Before Sora could run, Riku farted and flames caught Sora's wig on fire. Sora ran in circles screaming.**

**"Stop! Drop! AND ROLL!" Cloud called, scared also.**

**Not even thinking, Cloud grabbed his beer and splashed it onto Sora, thinking the flame would go out...Asshole...It only made the flames bigger and louder screams from Sora. Sora had no choice, but to take off the wig. He threw it off his head.**

**"OMG!" Cloud and Riku both shreiked.**

**"KILL IT!" **

**Cloud began to beat it with his sword...Drunk asshole...Cloud finally finished.**

**"Is it dead?" Riku asked.**

**Stupid, drunk, assholes...Cloud and Riku then looked at the bald, burnt Sora. They broke down laughing on the floor. Sora only gritted his teeth...Stupid, drunk, RETARDED assholes...ASSHOLES! ASSH-- I'm sorry, thats enough.**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Cloud: Hey, I drink responsibly! And I admit, that was stupid, but I wouldn't do that.**

**(Riku comes back with Sora all beat up)**

**Riku: Why do you make me fart so much?**

**Me: Poor Sora.**

**Sora: Poor me.**

**Me: No, not poor me, I mean poor YOU.**

**Sora: No, I ment ME...NOT YOU!**

**Me:...I'M SO CONFUSED!**

**Riku: Seriously why?**

**Man from wigstore: I'm not fat, I'm big-boned. Oh, I am VERY stylish though, tee hee.**

**Cloud: Why are you in "talking with Sora?" You aren't even a real character!**

**Man from wigstore: I know, It's just that the wig is suing.**

**Wig:...**

**Sora: That wig scares me...**

**Riku: SERIOUSLY! WHY ME?**

**Sora: Nah, uh Riku...I'm getting the last words this time! HA HA!**

**Riku: Okay.**


	15. Ch15 A SPECIAL Chapter

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.15 A SPECIAL Chapter**

**Me: Hi people! Sorry it took me so long to update! I had school.**

**Sora: (reads title) What does it mean by "special?"**

**Me: BECAUSE! (drum roll) Last Tuesday was MY birthday! Which was Aug, 22 2006. Now its Friday! YAY! WEEKEND! **

**Sora: Happy Birthday! Now what do you mean by special?**

**Me: To celebrate MY birthday! This chapter is special BECAUSE, since it was MY birthday--**

**Riku: OH GOD, GET ON WITH IT!**

**Me: Hey, where did you come from, and HOW RUDE! By SPECIAL I mean super funny and crazy.**

**Sora: Super?**

**Me: Yeah.**

**Riku:...Oh sorry, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!**

**Me: Thank you all! I am officially 13!**

**Sora: You mean, you lied all this time?**

**Me:...Um...Lie is such a HARSH word...ENJOY THE STORY! (runs off)**

**After Riku and Cloud became sober again, they apolagized to Sora, right after they finished laughing. He then found out Kairi left right after he did. Poor Sora...Oh well, she liked Riku anyway. STUPID RIKU! Sora then went to go find Aeris to see how the potion was doing. He went to her room. He knocked and no one answer. He then heard giggling. Sora walked in. He saw Cloud bumping into walls with underwear on his head and Aeris giggling half naked behind the bed.**

**"Where are YOU? You shall never escape the underwear monster! Fore, I shall reach your panties!" Cloud said in a deep voice.**

**Sora frozed. So this was what was keeping Aeris from making the potion. The underwear monster! Sora ran out before they saw him and slammed her bedroom door. That was stupid. After a while, Sora had to go to the bathroom. Right after he finished tinkling...Hee, hee...Tinkling...Oh, sorry. Sora flushed and he relized it wouldn't. He tried again, and again. No flush. For another stupid move, Sora stuck his head close near the water of the toilet. He felt a strange force and he was sucked in the toilet. Riku runs into the bathroom yelling and pointing at the toilet.**

**"I TOLD YOU THIS WOULD HAPPEN! I TOLD YOU! AND I SAID I WASN'T GONNA GET HIM OUT!" He then runs out of the bathroom...Stupid Riku.**

**Sora woke up and saw he was on snow, in a forest. He gets up and moans. He then see's this half human, half goat like person. Sora walks up to the creature. **

**"Do you know where I am?" Sora asks.**

**"Why you are in Narnia." The goat answers.**

**"Narnia? Wasn't there a book like this?"**

**"Uuuuh...Shhhhh...You'll get me fired."**

**"Okaaaaaaaay...Now who are you?"**

**"My name is of no importance because it is long, stupid, crazy, and hard to say."**

**"Wow, this authoress is evil."**

**"Do you like cashmere?"**

**"Cashmere? Uuuuuuh...Its nice...And soft...So, yeah."**

**"OMG! LIKE ME TOO! WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON! WANNA GO OUT?"**

**"...I HATE YOU BlueEyedFun! YOU MADE HIM GAY! AND I DON'T HAVE NO PLACE OUT OF HERE!"**

**Tee, hee...Oh and its THE ALL POWERFUL AUTHORESS.**

**"More like THE ALL POWERFUL GAY OBSESSED!"**

**Hey, hey! I am not obsessed with gay people! I like gay people. I'm not gay, I just like gay people. I want a gay guy for a friend, tee hee.**

**"You know, someone is going to send a hate review about this."**

**Yeah I know...Oh, sorry, START THE STORY!**

**"Do you know the way out?" Sora asks the goat man.**

**"Only through the master toilet."**

**"Wha?"**

**"It's on the highest mountain. Where the drunk, anger management lion lives."**

**"Wow, this story sure was changed...Okay, I shall be on my way."**

**"So, no date?"**

**"NO DATE!"**

**"Fine, your so abusive!"**

**Sora then hiked up the mountain. When it got dark and too cold to walk any higher he decided to rest in a nice, prettyfull ice cave. Sora walked up to a throne. Someone was sitting there...Who was it...It looked like...KAIRI!**

**"Sora, so good to see you!" She called.**

**"You too!" He answered.**

**"How are you?"**

**"Fine, you?"**

**"Fine."**

**(both nod and there is an akward silence.)**

**"Soooooooo...Did I mention I have to turn you into an ice sculpture now?"**

**"Why no, you didn't...BYE!"**

**Sora begins to run out of the cave. He is then stopped by two little midget creatures. **

**"HAULT!" The first midget called.**

**"Oh now your haten on midgets, aren't you!" Sora calls to the sky. BlueEyedFun hesitates.**

**No, the first midget is my lonely friend...IF you read my profile. When my friend reads this she's going to be mad, I make fun of her because she's so short.**

**"GREAT! Now your going to get MORE hate reviews!"**

**REMEMBER! Its MY birthday!**

**"..."**

**"You shall die now!" The second midget calls.**

**"Just like my cousin in Idaho!" The first one calls.**

**Idaho?**

**"Yeah, Idaho."**

**Your the hoe?**

**"NO, NO, NO! I HATE YOU!"**

**Oh, everyone says that...CONTINUE STORY! SORRY!  
**

**The first midget finally calms down.**

**"KILL HIM NOW!" Kairi orders.**

**"Kairi, I never had a chance to say this, but...I LOVE YOU!" Sora calls out.**

**"I LOVE YOU TOO! The first midget calls also.**

**"ME TOO!" The second one calls.**

**"AND I LOVE YOU TOOOOOOO!" The goat man popped into the scene.**

**"I thought you were gay." Sora says.**

**"Oh, no...I love YOU!"**

**"...Can I go now?"**

**"Thank you all, but I only love one person!" Kairi yells in a loving way.**

**"Let me guess...Riku?" Sora says weakly.**

**"No! I love Tito!"**

**"Wha? Whose Tito?" All ask at the same time.**

**"Remember chapter 3? Don't go to the light Tito? Don't go to the light? Sora remember, you said his name."**

**"I did?"**

**"Yes."**

**"BUT WHOSE TITO?"**

**Tito comes in. See's a 12 year old kid in a panda suit eating an apple.**

**"You rang?"**

**"You dumped me for THAT?" Sora yells to Kairi.**

**"No! I dumped you for Tito!"**

**While everyone was distracted, the two midgets got out the bags of pot they had in their pocket. They then sat on the ground and rolled joints. Hee, hee, stupid, smoking, midgets. And my lonely friend. After the whole TITO thing, Sora finally got out. He began to climb the mountain higher. He reached a small cliff and decided to rest their. He then heard bells ringing...Like jingle bells. He looked behind him and saw Santa Clause landing his reindeer on the cliff.**

**"HO, HO, HO!" Santa yelled merrily.**

**"Thats not me! Thats the first midget!"**

**"What?"**

**"...Nevermind. Can I borrow your slay?"**

**"Why...No."**

**"HUH? I HATE YOU SANTA!"**

**"Hey, calm down sonny."**

**Sora runs up and karate kicks Santa off the cliff and jumps into the slay. **

**"MUWAHAHAHAHAHAA!" Sora's left eye starts to twitch. **

**Sora then began to take off, to reach the top of the mountain. A few minutes later a little, cute elf popped its head out of the bag.**

**"Santa?" It asked.**

**"I'm not Santa."**

**"Then who are you?"**

**"AN ELF MALESTER!"**

**"AAAAAAAAH!" The elf shreiked and jumped out of the slay.**

**"Wow, that was easy."**

**Sora finally reached the top and parked the slay. There was a small cave and Sora walked towards it. **

**"Hello?" Sora calls.**

**No one answers. Sora then felt something grab his sholder.**

**(back to talking to Sora.)**

**Riku: Wow, and it was getting good.**

**Sora: This chapter was really wierd and long.**

**(BlueEyedFun comes back)**

**Me: I'M BACK!**

**Sora: We read.**

**(BlueEyedFun's lonely friend comes in)**

**Lonely Friend: JAM! You know I am not a midget!**

**Me: (GASP) You said my name!**

**Riku: Jam is your name?**

**Me: No, its a nickname.**

**Lonely Friend: Everyone calls her that at school...Can I be someone else BESIDES Lonely Friend?**

**Me: Okay!**

**Ugly Midget Friend: Thank you!..Wait...I HATE YOU!**

**Me: TEE HEE! Just kidding!**

**Lonely Friend: I'll just keep this name, even though I still don't like it.**

**(Riku is whispering to Sora)**

**Me: What are you guys doing?**

**(Riku smiles and looks at Sora) **

**(both nod)**

**Riku and Sora: Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to YOU! Happy birthday, dear BlueEyedFun! Happy birthday to YOOOOOU!**

**Me: Aaaaaaaaaaaw! You guys are so sweet! But horrible singers!**

**Riku talking to Sora: Plan B?**

**Sora: Plan B.**

**(Sora and Riku pull out cans of silly string and spray them at BlueEyedFun)**

**Me: EEEEEEEEEEEEK!**

**Lonely Friend: HEE HEE HA HA HEE! **


	16. Ch16 A Test Of Flushing

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.16 A Test Of Flushing**

**Lonely Friend: Is it okay, if I can have a NEW name?**

**Me: Well, you already revealed yourself in the reviews, sooooo...Why not!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Yay!...Wait...Now everyone knows who I am!**

**Me: You just did it, not me.**

**(AndromedaGalaxy starts to pout)**

**Sora: So, am I finally going to get out of the place you call "Narnia?"**

**Riku: Please don't, I'm enjoying this.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Me too.**

**Sora: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...Well am I?**

**Me: Well, I'm not sure.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (Bouncing up and down) Can we go ahead and start the story? Huh? Can we?**

**Me: Sure!**

**Sora turned around to see who grabbed his shoulder. What he saw was very incredible, but strange. He saw a drunk lion, standing up woozily, and with a beer bottle in his other hand.**

**"Welcome to-to-to-to-to-to-" The lion tried to say.**

**"Narnia?"**

**"YEAH! THATS IT! Welcome to-to-to-to-to-"**

**"Uh, can you lead me to the master toilet?"**

**"Oh, no, I can't..."**

**"Why not?"**

**The lion picks up a note card and puts spectacles on backwards.**

**"It says here-here-here-here-What does it say?" The lion hands the note card to Sora.**

**"It says anyone who comes up on the mountain, you must keep them from getting to the master toilet, unless they pass all of the test." Sora read.**

**"I KNEW THAT!" The lion yells at Sora angerly and rips the note card to peices.**

**"Okay, just CALM DOOOOOOOWN." **

**The lion then throws the beer bottle at a rock and it shatters. Sora had to think quick.**

**"Uuuuuh...What is your name?" Sora asked thinking it would distract him.**

**"Well, I don't know...I DON'T KNOW!" **

**Sora covers his head.**

**"Can we start the test now?" Sora asks in fear.**

**The lion turns back to normal.**

**"Why, yes...We can."**

**Sora did a sigh of relief.**

**"For your first test you have to eat dirt."**

**"Dirt? What kind of test is that?"**

**"Hee, hee, I don't know its just fun to watch...NOW DO IT!"**

**"YES SIR!" Sora then found some dirt and gorged it down as fast as he could. He felt sick.**

**"Wow, hee hee, that was funny, your second test is to eat more dirt."**

**"More?"**

**"YES MORE, NOW DO IT!"**

**Sora did the same thing he did before.**

**"Your third test is to-"**

**"Eat more?"**

**"DONT INTERRUPT ME!"**

**"SORRY! I'M SORRY! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!"**

**"As I was saying, your last test, or third is to go on a date with the goat man."**

**"Wha?" Sora looks behind him and sees the goat man waving at him in a flirty way.**

**"Na uh! NO WAY!"**

**"DO! IT!" The lion yelled and ripped half of his main off.**

**"...Wow...Didn't that hurt?"**

**"Yes, but I have done worse, like the time I-"**

**"I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!"**

**"YES YOU WILL KNOW!" **

**Sora got scared and the lion told him the gross out stories of all the things he had did to himself. When he was done, he had no choice, but to go on a date with the goat man.**

**"Yay! I am like so happy!" The goat man yelled.**

**Sora started to cry. Riku jumps right on the cliff and points at Sora yelling.**

**"HA HA! YOU DESERVE IT YOU LITTLE TWERP! I WARNED YOU ABOUT THE TOILET! I DID! BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I HOPE YOU DIE! HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!" **

**After a series of Riku's eye twitching and laughing insanely, he dissapeared.**

**"...I'm scared." Sora whispered lightly to himself.**

**"Can't I just eat more dirt?"**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Sora: Seriously I am scared.**

**Riku:...No comment, just hurry and update.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Yeah! I wait and wait, and hardly of my favorite authors update. THEY TAKE SO LONG! IT MAKES ME! Dare I say...CRAAAAAAAAAAAZY!"**

**Me: Well, I just did, so no worries!**

**Goat Man: I'm happy...**

**Sora: I'm happy.**

**Goat Man: Really?**

**Sora: If you get away from me I will be.**

**Me: Sora! YOUR SO RUDE!**

**Sora: Your the one haten on your best friend!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: YEAH!...What were we talking about again? (wipes foam from mouth)**

**Me:...Nothing.**


	17. Ch17 I Can't Believe It's Not Butter

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.17 I Can't Believe It's Not Butter**

**Sora: This chapter sounds real gross.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Yeah, that must mean it's going to be funny, yay!**

**Me: I still don't know why in the commercial they do "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter." Then what is it? Its so wrong! But so funny.**

**Riku: I'm reading over the last 2 chapters, the one where I am yelling...You sure did make me crazy.**

**Me: DUH! Kingdom Crazies! Ring a bell?**

**Sora: A bell? WHERE! Is Santa back? I'm going to ask for my hair back!...Wait...I'm only bald in the story right?**

**Me: Yeah.**

**Sora: Nevermind.**

**Riku: Why do I hang out with these losers?**

**Me: (GASP) We are not losers!  
**

**Riku: Yes you are! We have a retarded anime character, an obsessive anime fangirl, and her obsessive anime fangirl friend.**

**Sora: You really shouldn't call yourself retarded Riku...It's not nice.**

**Riku: WHY YOU LITTLE-**

**Me: Lets start the story!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: YEAH!**

**Sora had to make it on the date. He really hoped nothing would happen. He had to go on a dinner date with the goat man, in a restaurant called "You Can't Afford This Food HA HA!" Weird name. Right when they got to the restaurant, they got strange looks from people.**

**"Uuuuuh, are we ready for the meeting!" Sora calls out loud enough so no one thinks he's gay.**

**Everyone continued to eat. Sora sat down across from the goat man and they had garlic bread as an appetizer. **

**"So did it hurt?" The goat man asks Sora.**

**"What did?" **

**"When you fell from heaven."**

**"Actually I fell from the drain in the toilet, landed in Narnia, climbed mountain to get out of here, had to face Kairi, and her evil midgets/Lonely Friend, then meet Tito, then finish climbing, then meet drunk, anger management lion, then did a test, and did the last one which is a date with you."**

**Well...That was a turn off.**

**"Heres the butter you ordered, sir." A waiter came up to them and set down a plate of butter. Sora began to spread the butter on his bread and eat it.**

**"Uuuuuh, thats not butter." The goat man said as Sora was chewing.**

**Sora froze.**

**"OMG!" Sora spit out the bread and wiped his tongue.**

**"THEN WHAT WAS IT?"**

**"Philidalphia!" **

**"Oh...Sorry! Heh, heh!...Is it okay if I can go to the restroom?"**

**"Yes."**

**"Okay, I'll be right back!"**

**Sora walked normally to the bathroom. When he got inside he ran straight to the toilets. Each toilet he stuck his bald head in it and flush. Nothing happened. He had no choice, but to...GULP...Go to the girl's room.**

**"OH, COME ON!" Sora yells at the ceiling.**

**Well, hey you asked for it.**

**"By doing what?"**

**Being mean to the poor, gay, goat man.**

**"You were mean to your friend!"**

**Yeah, but she knows I'm only kidding, and she laughs anyway.**

**"How do you know?"**

**I called her.**

**"Oh."**

**NOW GO TO THAT BATHROOM!**

**"YES MAM!"**

**Sora then rushes to the ladies room. He just realized where he was.**

**"Stupid ALL POWERFUL AUTHORESS." Sora mumbles. **

**Sora then stuck his bald head in every toilet again and flushed. Nothing happened. The master toilet was the only way to get out. Right then a heavy woman walked in.**

**"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" She screamed when she saw Sora.**

**"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" Sora screamed when he saw the woman.**

**They both ran out of the girl's room screaming. When Sora ran out he realized the restaurant was flooded with water. Oops...Did he do that? Yes, he did do that. There was only one way to get out of there. BOOGY BOARD! Sora grabbed a boogy board and paddled to the EXIT. He was cut off from the goat man.**

**"YOU SHALL NEVER LEAVE!" The goat man yelled with his hand like a fence, blocking the door. Sora shrugged and paddled right by him...Hee, hee...Stupid, gay, goat man.**

**"Your a hypocrite!" Sora yells to the ceiling.**

**I am not!**

**"Yes you are!"**

**Na uh!**

**"Uh huh!"**

**Na-What am I doing?**

**"Being a hypocrite."**

**ARGH!**

**Powerful waves form and they cover Sora. Sora drowns and dies.**

**"Na, uh!" Sora yelled.**

**"Your just MAD!"**

**STOP IT! I HATE YOU! The ALL POWERFUL AUTHORESS starts to cry and makes a powerful gust of wind sweep Sora out the window.**

**"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"**

**The gust was so powerful it made Sora land in the master toilet. CRAP! I missed the volcano! **

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Sora: You tried to kill me! **

**AndromedaGalaxy: Hee, hee, it was funny though.**

**Riku: Hey I'm not in this chapter!**

**Me: Thats what you get!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Well guys, I gotta go to a wedding this weekend, so bye. I won't be here for the next chapter! If you see Squally-poo tell him I said I love him! BYE!**

**All: BYE!**

**Riku: Squally-poo? **

**Me: She means Squall/Leon.**

**Riku and Sora: Oooooooooooooooh.**


	18. Ch18 Another Potion Down The Drain

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.18 Another Potion Down The Drain**

**Me: I think I made myself afraid of the goat man in Narnia now.**

**Sora: Now you understand how I feel!**

**Me: He's just creepy...**

**Sora: Like the scary wig! (SHIVER)**

**Me: The wig wasn't even alive!**

**Sora: Yes it was! You said it was before!**

**Me:...OH! Nevermind. I get so confused!**

**Riku: I came back!**

**Me: Huh? You left?**

**Riku: Yeah, I had to get this! (pulls quarter out of pocket and goes to gumball machine) I wanted some gum. (puts quarter in and pulls lever) Mmmmmm, I can taste it right now... (gumball rolls in little tube and gets stuck) Wha? (Riku shakes machine, bangs on it, kicks it, and throws it) (gumball is still stuck) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THAT WAS MY LAST QUARTER!**

**Sora: TOO!..MUCH!..DRAMA!...AND!...SUSPENSE!...CANT!...HANDLE!...NO!...MORE! (faints)**

**Me: And I thought I was wierd...I just insulted myself, didn't I?**

**Sora: (lifts head up) Yeah you did. (puts head back down)**

**Riku banging on machine: I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!**

**There was a giant, loud flush and Sora went spinning down the toilet. Wouldn't it be funny right after you used the restroom and you saw a minature Sora in your toilet? Well, thats how the sky felt. Sora closed his eyes shut and grabbed himself. When he opened them he was in the bathroom, lying on the ground, near the toilet in a wet puddle. He then moans and stands up woozily. Right then Aeris ran in, not noticing the water, while carrying a potion in her hand.**

**"Sora! Sora! I got a potion that will cure you! I hope it will w-" In slow motion, Aeris slips on the puddle, lands straight on her back, and the potion falls in the toilet, and goes flush.**

**"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Sora yells dramatically. There was no way he was going BACK to horrible Narnia.**

**Aeris stood up real quick like she had never fell on her back. **

**"Don't worry Sora, theres a plunger." She then points to the plunger next to the toilet.**

**"Oh."**

**Sora grabbed it and starts to use the plunger in the toilet. He feels something and pulls it out. The goat man's head pops out of the drain.**

**"YOU SHALL NEVER ESCAPE!" The goat man yells. Aeris screams and runs out of the bathroom with her hands in the air. Sora starts to bang the goat man over the head with the plunger and continues to flush. Meanwhile...Riku walks up to the snack machine in the hall with a dollar, happily and hungry. He slips in the dollar and hits the button that reads snicker bar. He waits. Nothing happens. He kicks the machine. Nothing happens.**

**"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" He yells. He then starts to bang it with his dark keyblade. Nothing happens. **

**"THAT! (BANG) WAS! (BANG) MY! (BANG) LAST! (BANG) DOLLAR! (BANG) YOU! (BANG) MOTHER! (BANG) F-" A shandelier then falls on Riku's head. **

**Hee, hee...Stupid Riku. As Sora continued to hit the goat man with the plunger, Donald heard the noise, and put his "ear" up against the bathroom door. **

**"AAAAAAAAAAARGH! GO DOWN YOU PEICE OF SHIT! GO DOOOOOOOOWN! EEEEEEEEEER! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Screamed Sora behind the door. **

**Donald knocks on the door.**

**"Sora? Are you okay in there?" Donald asks behind the door.**

**"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" Sora replies.**

**Donald then heard a flush. After about 30 seconds he walked. He saw the ceiling, walls, and floor covered in toilet water, and Sora laying on the ground soaking wet, near the toilet with a plunger in his hand breathing heavily, and with a painful look on his face. There was also bits of brown fuzz on the toilet seat, from the goat man. Donald turns green and faints. Yuffie then walks in. **

**"What da?"**

**She then backs out of the bathroom slowly. **

**"I'm not cleaning this up!" She calls from the hall.**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Riku: I hate you...**

**Me: Theres so much hate in the world! Why can't we all love each other?**

**Sora:...Cause it's gay.**

**Me: No it isn't!**

**Riku: When did you become a hippie?**

**Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! (pulls out shot gun) WE CAN HAVE PEACE! OR I CAN BLOW YOUR FREAKEN HEAD OFF!**

**Sora and Riku: PEACE!**

**Me: (puts away shot gun) Thats what I thought.**

**Riku: I still hate you though...**

**Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! (tackles Riku)**

**(Sora watches blankly, pulls out a camera, and takes a picture)**

**Sora: To show everyone Riku got beat up by a 13 year old fan girl.**

**  
**


	19. Ch19 A Loony Riku

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.19 A Loony Riku**

**Me: Hi people! Your probably thinking. Wasn't there a contest going on about who would be the next Riku? Well, I came up with the contest last night, and realized today there would be some complications, so I replaced it with a real chapter! For those who are just reading this and don't know what I am talking about, last night I decided to do a contest to see who could replace Riku for the next three chapters. Like I said, today I discovered complications! Sorry for the two people who tried out! Hee hee, god, this was a lame idea, ANYWAYS-Sorry if the contest was a waste of your time to the people who tried out!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: I'm back! So this is what happened when I was gone...**

**Sora: (sigh) Well, no new partner...**

**Riku: YES! YES! I HATED THAT GOD-FORSAKEN CONTEST ANYWAY!...Wait...Please tell me the title of this chapter doesn't say it all...**

**Me: The title doesn't say it all.**

**Riku: Oh, thank god! (covers heart)**

**Me in happy voice: It says EVERYTHING!**

**Riku:...**

**Sora: Hee, hee, I gotta see this, PLEASE START THE STORY!**

**Yuffie ran downstairs and told everyone about the mess in the bathroom. Everyone rushed to see for themselves. They finally got there and everyone was SHOCKED. What they saw would ruin them for the rest of their lives. Everything was covered in toilet water, the toilet was coughing up bits of brown fur, Sora was laying on his back, gasping for air, with a plunger in his hand, and Donald was laying on his back too, not moving, and had his tongue hanging out of his mouth.**

**"WHAT DA!" Leon called out.**

**"What happened here?" Goofy calls out next.**

**Aeris just hides behind Cloud. Cloud then gets curious and walks over to Donald. He starts to poke him with a stick.**

**"CLOUD STOP IT!" Aeris yells at him.**

**Yuffie begins to look around. **

**"Wheres Riku?"**

**Sora then gets up.**

**"My head...Ow...Hey, are we having a reunion or something?"**

**Everyone stares at him. **

**"MY EYES!" Screams Leon.**

**"Huh?"  
**

**Sora's bald head was so wet, that it reflected the bright light in the bathroom...So this is what he ment when he wanted to become a flash light...Hmmmm...Everyone puts on sunglasses.**

**"RIKU!" Yuffie calls out. No answer.**

**Sora gets up and wipes his head with a towel. **

**"I'll find him, someone just help Donald." Sora then walked out of the bathroom. **

**After some minutes he saw that a chandelier in the hallway had fell. He goes up to it, and it seems like something was underneith it...Could it be? Naaaaah...He then hears moaning...Yes it is. He removes the chandelier and finds Riku, sprawled out underneith it.**

**"RIKU! Are you alright?" Sora asks in surprise and worry.**

**Riku gets up and walks up to Sora, like the chandelier never fell on him...Until he spoke.**

**"That'll do pig, that'll do..." He says.**

**"...What did you say?"**

**Riku falls on the floor and rolls around in circles making pig squeling noises. And a terrible ear-bleeding one, I might add.**

**"Uh, oh, Riku are you okay in the head?"**

**"I have a head?"**

**"...We need to get you to Aeris."**

**"I have an Aeris?"**

**"Uuuuuh...No."**

**Riku then tackles Sora to the ground, and takes off Sora's pants.**

**"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Sora screams out.**

**Riku then holds Sora down, and takes off his own pants.**

**"RIKU, DON'T DO IT! DONT DO IT!"**

**Riku then puts on Sora's pants.**

**"I wanted to trade pant's with you." He says.**

**"..."**

**"Now give me your shoes!"**

**"Why?"**

**"Cause their HUGE! And I like them..."**

**Sora just walks away slowly in his boxers with duckies on them...Hee, hee...Duckies.**

**"Did I mention my name is Mary?" Riku adds.**

**Sora runs away to warn them about Riku, or Mary, or whoever he is.**

**"My name is also Suzie! Whats your name?" Riku asks the ceiling.**

**My name is shutup or die.**

**"Thats a pretty name."**

**Thank you and it means something too.**

**"What?"**

**Shut up or die.**

**"Hee, hee, your funny."**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Riku: (deep, angry breath) When you end this story for good...Remind me to kill myself.**

**Sora cheerfully: I can help!**

**(Riku punches Sora in the arm)**

**Sora: OW!**

**(Leon walks in)**

**Leon to BlueEyedFun: You said you wanted to see me?**

**Me: Yeah.**

**Leon: Uuuuuuh...For what?**

**Me: For that. (points at AndromedaGalaxy on the floor rocking back and forth with a picture of a shirtless Leon in her hand.)**

**AndromedaGalaxy whispering to self: Squally, Squally, Squally, Squally, Pooooooo. (looks up and sees real thing) GASP! SQUALLY POOOOOOOOOOOO! **

**Leon: AAAAAAAAAAARGH! (is being chased by AndromedaGalaxy, who apparently has love rabies)**

**Me: You owe me Andromada!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Don't say my real name! (tears off Leon's shirt)**

**Me: OOPS! (covers mouth) Sowwy!**

**Leon: HELP ME! (AndromedaGalaxy is now on top of him)**


	20. Ch20 Riku Sitting

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.20 Riku Sitting**

**Me: Hello!**

**Sora: Where did AndromedaGalaxy and Leon go?**

**Me: I don't know, we turned around for one second and they were gone.**

**Riku:...Wierd.**

**Me: OH, ANDROMADAAAAAA!**

**(hears voice)**

**Voice: I TOLD YOU NOT TO SAY MY REAL NAME JAM!**

**Me: It's BlueEyedFun! NOT JAM! I am only Jam in the real world.**

**Sora: Is Andromada her real name or a nickname?**

**Me: It's her real name.**

**Sora:...Cooooool.**

**(AndromedaGalaxy comes back dragging Leon by his sock and she had a satisfied look on her face)**

**(Leon's looks like he has been in a carwreck)**

**Me: GASP! What did you do to him?**

**Leon:...Horrible...Horrible things.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (giggle) Squallykins is quite the joker!**

**Leon: I'M NOT SQUALLYKINS!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (face turns devil red and has evil glint in eyes) YES YOU ARE SQUALLYKINS!**

**Leon: (GULP) Okay, I'm Squallykins.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (turns to normal) Lets start the story now!**

**Me: Yeah, lets!**

**Sora ran as fast as he could to the others, to tell them about Riku, before he could hurt himself again. He finally reached them and told them the whole story. It was kind of hard to pay attention to someone though, when you can see their ducky boxers. He then led them to him. Aeris did the same test on him, like she did Sora before to see if he WAS crazy...He was. She decided she was going to go ahead and take care of Sora's hair problem, so she grabbed Sora by the hand and took him to the library to help make potions. Yuffie had to babysit Riku in his room...ALONE...Like Riku had to do with Sora before. She got him in the bed and sat down in a chair and watched him.**

**"Riku, if you need anything, please tell me, I'm here to help!" She says cheerfully, but at the same time worringly.**

**"You can help me with something."**

**"What?"**

**"Help me make my banana split."**

**"WHAT?"**

**"Help...ME...Make...MY...BANANA...Spit."**

**"Uuuuh, Riku?"**

**"SEE!"**

**Riku's hand then goes under the covers.**

**"RIKU I DON'T WANT TO SEE!" She then sheilds her eyes.**

**Riku brings out a bowl with a banana split in it.**

**"I need to put the whipcream on!"**

**Yuffie's eyes are still sheild.**

**"I don't feel that way about you Riku!"**

**"LOOK!"**

**She looks.**

**"Oh...Where did you get that?"**

**"My pocket."**

**"Oh...GIMME THAT!"**

**She snatches it from his hand and throws it in a droor. Riku then speaks in a scary voice.**

**"I wouldn't have done that if I were you."**

**"Ha, ha Riku." She says sarcastically.**

**Riku pulls out a knife from his pocket.**

**"Riku?" She backs away towards the door.**

**"RIKU!"**

**He gets closer with the knife.**

**"STAY BACK!"**

**"Do you...Do you...Want some cake?"**

**He then pulls a full cake out of his pocket and cuts her a piece. **

**"Riku!" She gets angry at him and throws everything in the same droor. She then holds him down, steals his pants, and stuffs them in the same droor. After that the whole room went dark.**

**"Huh? Whats going on?" She gets scared now. She begins to hear Riku laughing evily. **

**  
"RIKU COME OUT! YOUR SCARING ME! WHERE ARE YOU?" She then hears someone calling her from the ceiling.**

**"The ALL POWERFUL AUTHORESS?"**

**Yes it's me! And I brought AndromedaGalaxy with me!**

**HIYA! **

**"Uh, hi?"**

**I love Squallykins, hey its so beautiful in the ceiling! Its all heavenly looking and- THE ALL POWERFUL AUTHORESS covers AndromedaGalaxy's mouth.**

**SHHHHHHH! YOU AREN'T SUPPOSE TO SAY A WORD ABOUT THE DECORE IN HERE! OR THAT THE WATER FOUNTAIN SHOOTS OUT PURPLE FANTA!**

**You just did!**

**GASP! I DID! **

**Can it be strawberry Fanta instead?**

**SHHHHHHHHHH!**

**"Uh, what did you guys want to tell me?"**

**That Riku is hiding in the closet.**

**"Oh...I knew that."**

**Well...Bye.**

**"Bye."**

**TELL SQUALLY I LOVE HIM!**

**SHUTUP! YOU KNOW YUFFIE LOVES HIM!**

**"..."**

**Yuffie then goes towards the closet. What she saw was the most scariest thing you would ever see Riku do.**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Sora: NOOOOOOO! **

**Me: What?**

**Sora: YOU LEFT IT AT A GOOD PART! AND I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Yeah, that last part drives me crazy...CRAZY! (glomps Leon)**

**Leon: WILL SOMEONE GET THIS THING OFF OF ME?**

**(Yuffie walks in)**

**Yuffie: (points at AndromedaGalaxy) YOU BITCH!**

**Me: GASP! YUFFIE SAID A BAD WORD!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: How could you say that! You and Squallykins are one of my favorite couples! If you cant except this love triangle then...YOU SHALL DIE!**

**Riku: COOL! CAT FIGHT!**

**Yuffie: BRING IT ON!**

**Sora: Someone get the bikinies and mud pit! NOW!**

**Me:...(covers eyes)**


	21. Ch21 A Giant Cat Fight

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.21 A Giant Cat Fight**

**Me: Uuuuh...Guys, just to let you know their won't be a REAL story, because my friend and Yuffie have to settle something.**

**Sora: (yells right in BlueEyedFun's ear) NOOOOOOOOOOO!**

**Me: OW! Why did you yell that for?**

**Sora: Now I'll never know what Riku was doing in that closet!**

**Me: Well, I'm going to tell it in the next chapter!**

**Sora: Well, I want to see the cat fight anyway.**

**(sees Yuffie and AndromedaGalaxy in a wrestling ring wearing colorful costumes, getting ready to pound the crap out of each other for Leon)**

**(Riku walks by with a box)**

**Riku: Any bets?**

**Me: Uuuuuuh...(gets out a hundred dollar bill)...I bet on Yuffie.**

**Leon: Come on girls! I'm not THAT important! Can't you guys just be friends?**

**Yuffie and AndromadaGalaxy: SHUT UP SQUALL!**

**Leon: YES MAMS! (rolls up into a ball and rocks back and forth)**

**(Cid appears in the middle of the ring with a microphone in his hand)**

**Cid: Welcome everyone, to the first "I WANT SQUALLYPOO" wrestiling match! Where these SO CALLED LADIES will battle it out for the hunk! NAMED SQUALLYPOO! Now time for our competiters! In the ring we have the all time butt-kicking ninja, YUFFIE! (points to Yuffie)**

**(Yuffie is wearing a one peice, strapless, yellow torsue top, green spandex, rubber green, knee-high boots, green gloves, and a green and yellow, striped eye mask. EVERYTHING is shiny and sparkly)**

**(crowd cheers uncontrollably)**

**Yuffie: YEAH! THATS RIGHT! (karate kicks nearby chair and it splits into)**

**Cid: In the next corner we have the lonely, obsessive, anime fangirl, ANDROMEDAGALAXY! (points at AndromedaGalaxy)**

**(AndromedaGalaxy is wearing a dark blue, rubberish, short skirt , light purple high-heelish boots, a light purple, rubbery, long-sleeved top, and a blue eye mask with tiny light purple stars on them. She is VERY shiny)**

**(know one cheers)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: OH FORGET YALL! (karate kicks chair, but falls over moaning while hugging her stomach) (didn't even touch the chair) **

**(after she recovers bell goes ding ding)**

**Yuffie: You ready to die!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: You ready to die!**

**Yuffie: Hey you copied me!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Na uh!**

**Yuffie: Yes you did! (stands up normally)**

**(AndromedaGalaxy tackles her)**

**Yuffie: ARGH! YOU GOT ME DISTRACTED!**

**(roll around strangling each other)**

**Sora: HEY! I said they're suppose to be in mud and wearing bakinies! I DON'T SEE NO MUD OR BAKINIES!**

**Riku: Shut up, and just hope your bet doesn't lose!**

**(Rinoa, the girl Leon is coupled with in Final Fantasy, walks in)**

**(she is wearing tight, light blue, leather pants, a braw-like golden, leather hoochie top, and gold shin-highed boots, and a gold eye mask with blue sparkles on it)**

**Rinoa: I heard someone wants my Squallypoo! WHO IS IT?**

**(AndromedaGalaxy and Yuffie stop fighting)**

**Cloud: (has popcorn in hand and mouth is wide open) In all my life, I have never seen anything like this...AND I REALLY LIKE IT!**

**Riku:...Must...Not...Admit...Turned...On...BY...CRAZED...HOT...ANIME...GIRLS...AND...FAN...GIRL!**

**Cloud: What did you say?**

**Riku: NOTHING! (eats popcorn real fast)**

**Leon: RINOA! HI! How are you doing!...PLEASE JUST NO MORE FIGHTING!**

**Rinoa: TIME TO SETTLE THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL! (hops into ring and kicks both Yuffie and AndromedaGalaxy in mid air)**

**Sora: Cooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool...(munch)**

**Me: OH GOD, I CANT LOOK! (covers eyes again)**

**(all girls are now in a huge cloudy ball of fighting)**

**(they roll out of the ring and land on Leon)**

**Leon: AAAAAAAAAAH! SOMEONE HELP ME!**

**(cloud of fighting dissapears)**

**(the girls are in a pile on top of each other tired and Leon is sitting on the floor with his clothes, ripped off, except for a patch on the "little" spot.**

**Leon: ITS NOT LITTLE! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT!**

**Rinoa: I can prove them wrong Squallie. (gets seductive, deviant look in eyes and crawls towards him)**

**Leon: PLEASE NO MORE! (runs off screaming like a little girl)**

**Riku:...So...Who won?'**

**Cid: Well, AndromedaGalaxy was on top of all of them when they stopped so...THE WINNER IS ANDROMEDAGALAXY!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: YES! YES! I WIN MY SQUALLYPOO! YEEEEEEEEEES!**

**Me: CRAP! (throws down peanuts and popcorn) I JUST LOST THE DAMN BET!**

**Everyone: (GASP)**

**Me:...What?...Oops! Sorry! (covers mouth)**

**Sora: So how many people get their money doubled?**

**Riku: (counting bets) None.**

**All: WHAT?**

**Riku: No one betted on AndromedaGalaxy.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: OH YOU GUYS SUCK!**

**Me:...Heh...Heh...I was still rootin for you the whole time though!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: So what I do win Squallie, right?**

**Cid: YES! You win your Leon Squall Heart! Or how you call him, SQUALLIE!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: YAY!**

**(all hear Leon's voice coming from backroom)**

**Leon: There is NO way, I'm going back their man! YOU GOTTA HELP ME!**

**(My voice is then heard)**

**Me: You gotta do it Squall, AND I'M NOT A MAN! SO YOU DESERVE IT FOR CALLING ME ONE!**

**(AndromedaGalaxy pulls him out of the backroom and drags him into the girls locker room, with him clawing the ground and all, screaming)**

**Leon: NO! PLEASE NO!**

**(girl's locker room door closes)**

**(all hear screams and icky noises)**

**Me:...I better end the story like this, before any of you get thoughts in your mind.**

**Riku: OH GOD, I JUST DID!**

**Sora: (clenching his head) GET THEM OUT! **


	22. Ch22 Red Gooey Sauce

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.22 Red Gooey Sauce**

**Me: HI PEOPLE! Were going to have a real story for this chapter!**

**Sora: YES, YES, YES! (foams at mouth) NOW WHAT WAS RIKU DOING IN THAT CLOSET!**

**Me: You'll find out soon! AndomedaGalaxy doesn't like bananas anymore...Wanna know why?**

**Riku and Sora:...Why?**

**Me: BECAUSE, at lunch today at school, which is the 30th of August, she was about to eat a banana, and I told her is was Squall's little person.**

**Riku and Sora:...?**

**(AndromedaGalaxy breaks down laughing in the background)**

**Leon:...(sigh) This is the last time...ITS NOT LITTLE!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: SHE TRIED TO MAKE ME EAT IT TOO! AND SHE POKED IT!**

**Me: Hee, hee...Yeah, that was funny.**

**Sora: COME ON! Lets start the story!**

**Me: FINE!**

**Yuffie frozed as she finally saw what Riku was doing in the closet. It looked like he was eating something. It was too dark to see what he was doing. She then saw a red splash of liquid spill on the floor as he was ickily munching on something. Was it? GULP. Blood? She quickly turned on the closet light. Riku tackled her to the ground.**

**"OH GOD, DON'T EAT ME!" She yelped. **

**He just stood over her. She looked up at him and saw a reddish, clearish, gel on his face.**

**"I was eating strawberry sauce pancakes!" He says in a proud childish voice.**

**Hee, hee, I bet you thought he was masterbating in the closet before I started the story, hee, hee...I'm sorry, you didn't need to hear that. OH CRAP! This has nothing to do with the story, but FOR REAL, I just swallowed a whole bunch of gum on accident, typing this. I had three peices, all chewed up and I just swallowed it. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP!...I'm sorry, I just interrupted the story again. Swallowing that gum did scare the crap out of me. If I die, remember me as I was...Loving and caring, and always by you guy's side! **

**AndromedaGalaxy's voice is heard from ceiling too.**

**NA UH! Your cruel, crazy, and wierd! And funny too.**

**I can be loving too! You know that!**

**I know, I just always wanted to say that.**

**...Okay, continue story!**

**Hey theres a waterbed in here!**

**SHUT UP! YOU AREN'T SUPPOSE TO TELL THE DECORE! Okay, NOW we continue the story. My throat hurts.**

**Yuffie pushed Riku off of her and wiped her legs off real quick. When she looked up, he was gone.**

**"Wha?"**

**Sora walked in with his normal hair back. He looked proud.**

**"Aeris fixed my baldness!" **

**"Well, thats good, but we have a problem."**

**"What?"**

**"Riku ran off."**

**"WHAT!"**

**"Riku left, is lost, ran away, gone."**

**Sora grabs his head.**

**"Why do I have a strange feeling of deja vu?"**

**"I don't know, is that even how you spell it?"**

**"I think...Wait...Huh?"**

**They then ran off to find Riku. They ran through the halls and saw red footprints.**

**"Is it blood!" Sora shreiked.**

**"No, strawberry sauce."**

**"Oh."**

**They then saw Cloud running through the hall, bumping into walls with underwear on his head. AGAIN!**

**"AERIS! OH AEEEEEEEEERIS! WHERE ARE YOU! YOU KNOW I'M GONNA FIND YOU! AND YOUR LITTLE PANTIES TOO!"**

**As Sora and Yuffie stared in shock, Cloud reached out and touched Sora on the shoulder.**

**"THERE YOU ARE!" Cloud exclaims.**

**He then squeezes Sora hard and almost every place on his body. **

**"LET ME GO!" Sora screams.**

**Cloud took the underwear off his head and saw Sora.**

**"..."**

**He runs off to the bathroom to wash his hands.**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Me: THERE! YOU HAPPY SORA! I JUST SWALLOWED MY GUM FOR YOU!**

**Sora: I am now that I got my hair back.**

**Riku:...No comment. It's getting too old to just say I hate you.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Really, it is cool in the ceiling, theres the heavenly look, the fanta fountain, the waterbed, the hockey table, the vibrating, leather chair, the-**

**Me: I SAID NOT TO TELL THE DECORE IN THE CEILING! (breathes heavily and steam comes out of nose)**

**Sora: Just like in the cartoons!**

**Me: You are not to tell everyone how cool it is in the ceiling!**

**Sora:...I think I want to go to the ceiling now.**

**Me: ARGH! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!**

**Riku: Hey, me too!**

**Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (runs out pulling hair)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: What's her problem?**


	23. Ch23 I Don't Think Were Sane Anymore

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.23 I Don't Think Were Sane Anymore**

**Me: Hi! I think this chapter is going to be fun!**

**Sora: YAY!**

**Riku: Sora, I thought you hated this story too?**

**Sora: Well, not that much anymore, because I'm now not the only one getting picked on.**

**Riku:...No comment.**

**Me: Wanna know what? AGAIN?**

**Riku and Sora: What?**

**Me: I'm bugging everyone about bananas, right when they bite into one, I say I know what your imagining it to be. Tee, hee!**

**Riku: Thats gross.**

**(more laughing is heard by AndromedaGalaxy)**

**Sora: Hey, where is she anyway?**

**AndromedaGalaxy from ceiling: I'M ON THE COOL VIBRATING LEATHER CHAIR!**

**Me: I SAID SHUT UP ABOUT THAT STUFF! I PUT YOU IN THERE AND I CAN TAKE YOU OUT!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Na uh! (hears taping noises)**

**Me: Whats going on up there!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: I just taped myself to the chair.**

**Me: Thats a bad thing, to tape yourself to the vibrating chair.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Why?...Hey I feel kind of num.**

**Me: I have proved my point.**

**Sora and Yuffie got over the strange site from Cloud and continued to follow the red, gooey footprints. They concentrated so hard on them, that when they looked up, they weren't in the castle anymore. Everything was so colorful and mini. They saw small colorful houses, a swirly yellowish center, and many bushes filled with excotic flowers. They began to hear light, childish giggling.**

**"I'm scared." Sora whispers to Yuffie.**

**"Me too." She whispers back.**

**They heard the giggling coming from the bushes, and colorful munchkins walked out.**

**"OMG! KILL IT!" Sora screamed and actually jumped into Yuffie's arms.**

**"What are those!" She exclaims.**

**"DON'T TALK, JUST KILL THEM!"**

**The munchkins walked closer and giggled more. They turned around and they were surrounded. Sora gets out the pepperspray from his Hello Kitty purse. He starts to spray it at the munchkins and they all run away screaming and covering their eyes back into the bush.**

**"BACK YOU GOBBLINS FROM HELL! BACK!" **

**The munchkin mayor comes out with his hands in the air.**

**"Whoa! Calm down, tall friend! Were very freindly people! Its just that we may look too happy and-"**

**The munchkin mayor is cut off because right then Sora sprays him in the eyes.**

**"AAAAAH! MY FUCKING EYES YOU MOTHER-"**

**Sora sprays him again and the munchkin mayor curls up into a ball on the ground and moans.**

**"Hey that one kind of looks like AndromedaGalaxy!" Yuffie points to a girl munchkin bumping into walls from being sprayed.**

**"Yeah, it kinda does...KILL IT!" Sora screams and runs toward the munchkin with the pepper spray, while leaving his Hello Kitty purse behind. Yuffie then grabs him by the arm.**

**"No! NO! Thats really her!" **

**"Oh...KILL HER ANYWAY!"**

**"No Sora, c'mon, we forgot what we were here for."**

**"To kill every living munchkin on Earth?"**

**"No."**

**"In the universe?"**

**"NO! TO FIND RIKU!"**

**"Oh...I knew that."**

**"Look, the footprints lead to that yellow brick road over there." She points to the yellow road leading out of the munchkin village.**

**"Then lets go!"**

**They then began to leave.**

**"WAIT!" Sora shreiks.**

**"What?"**

**"I forgot my cute Hello Kitty purse!" He then goes back and grabs it. He then goes back to Yuffie.**

**"Yay! My favorite shade of lipstick is still here!" He then applies it.**

**"Sora are you sure your okay?"**

**"Oh, I forgot to tell you, the chemical Aeris used on me to grow my hair back made me a little wierd. She said it should wear off in about a day."**

**"Well, we have only hours, so c'mon!"**

**She then grabs him by the hand and they skip down the yellow brick road.**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Sora: Okay, now I'm MAD!**

**Me: What else is new?**

**Sora: I have NOTHING against Hello Kitty! I have nothing against their cute little characters, and accesories, and fan gear and-**

**Me: What is your POINT!**

**Sora: Oh, I just like Hello Kitty.**

**Me:...**

**AndromedaGalaxy in shaky voice: GET ME OFF THIS CHAIR!**

**Me: Well, why I get AndromedaGalaxy off that chair in the ceiling, I just would like to say I hope this chapter was worth reading and there is WAY more to come.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: AAAAAAAAAAAH! GET ME OFF!**

**Riku: GET HER OFF NOW! I'M GETTING A HEADACHE FROM THAT SCREAMING CREATURE!**

**Me: How RUDE!...(walks out door)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: HELP ME!**

**Me: (walks back in) Oops! I almost forgot! (walks pass entrance to ceiling) (reaches for purse) (then walks out the door)**

**Sora in astonishment: Theres a entrance to there!**


	24. Ch24 Mr Red Neck Scarecrow

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.24 Mr. Red Neck Scarecrow**

**Sora: Why are you writing about red necks now?**

**Me: Because I got an e-mail with a whole bunch of red neck pictures and jokes! It was funny, and besides, my dad's side of the family is like all red necks.**

**Sora:...**

**Riku:...**

**AndromedaGalaxy: You know I'm still on this chair, right?**

**Me: Well, I'll get you off. (goes to entrance in ceiling)**

**Sora: (looks around) (follows without BlueEyedFun noticing)**

**(BlueEyedFun gets AndromedaGalaxy off the chair, Sora hides behind door, and BlueEyedFun and AndromedaGalaxy walk out.)**

**Sora: OMG! IT'S SO COOL IN HERE!**

**Me: Hey, wheres Sora's voice coming from?**

**Riku: I don't know, but I'm gonna join him! (runs to entrance)**

**Me: HEY! DON'T GO IN THERE! COME BACK!**

**(runs after)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: I'll just wait here!...(glares at a banana)**

**Riku: OMG! IT IS! ITS LIKE HEAVEN! Except a little more girlier.**

**Me: GET OUT!**

**(fighting noises is heard)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Grrrrrrrrrrrrr...**

**As Yuffie and Sora skipped along, they came across a corn field. They saw a scarecrow hanging up on a post. **

**"Ssssssssssssssssp!" They heard something say.**

**They looked around confused.**

**"Who said that?" Sora asked, scratching his head.**

**"SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSP! OVER HERE!"**

**The voice comes from the scarecrow. The voice was southern and slacky like.**

**"You have to be kidding." Yuffie says shocked.**

**The scarecrow moves. It pulls a six pack of beer out of his pocket.**

**"Want some beer? Only 5 bucks."**

**"NO! Were just looking for a friend, and besides, were too young!" Yuffie says.**

**"Well, your old enough, so gimme some money."**

**"NO!" **

**"Fine, golly. I know who can help you fellas though."**

**"Who?"**

**"The Authoress of Oz."**

**"Can you lead us to her?"**

**"That'll be five bucks."**

**"FINE!" Yuffie then pulls out her wallet and hands the scarescrow five bucks.**

**"My name is Billy Bob Joe Bobby Bill Joey Beefus Jun Carn'e."**

**"...I'm Yuffie and thats Sora." She points to herself then Sora.**

**"I like your name." Sora says innocently.**

**"Besides I need to get to Ozzy anyways." The scarecrow says.**

**"Why?"**

**"I need to gets one of those pink, squishy things."**

**"Huh?"**

**"You know, that makes you gets smarts."**

**"A brain?"**

**"Yeah, thats the ticket."**

**"Well, come along."**

**"Well golly that'll be neat."**

**A catchy beat comes on. The scarecrow starts to sing.**

**"Sometimes its hard, to find some answers. Its hard sometimes to answer those answers. Its hard sometimes to impress Sandy Crow Lancer."**

**"Who's Sandy Crow Lanser?" Sora whispers to Yuffie. She shrugs. The song continues.**

**"It's awful hard to find some things. It's hard sometimes to fly, when you forgot you don't have wings. Cause just because a crow is in your name. Doesn't mean it's just the same. OOOOOOOH! If only I had a brain! That pink stuff in your head! If I only had a brain! I would be smarter instead! IF I only had a brain! IIIIIIIIIIIIF I ONLEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAD A BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!**

**"You done now?" Sora asks impatiently.**

**"Yep, thats enough."**

**"...So what do we do now?"**

**"Get some country fried chicken!"**

**"NO! Find our friend!" Yuffie buts in, knowing their all idiots, but her.**

**They then all grab hands and skip down the yellow brick road, covered in red foot prints, singing "Were off the see the Authoress, the wonderful Authoress of Oz!"**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Me: GET OUT GUYS! (is now kicked out of the ceiling, banging on the door) Unlock this DOOR!**

**Sora from other side: NA UH! It's too cool in here! **

**Riku: Hey Sora! Look a hot tub!**

**Sora: OH COOL! Hey...Wait...Theres something in the hot tub.**

**(Riku stares at what is in the hot tub, shocked) (Sora follows)**

**Riku: Their cut out, full sized posters of shirtless guys...**

**Me: STOP REVIELING THE CEILING SECRETS!**

**Sora: If your a guy, and your reading this...You should be shocked too.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (still glaring and growling at banana) (begins to bark at it)**

**Sora: Well, we run the ceiling now! Hey look! A control panel!**

**Me: NO! DON'T GO NEAR THERE! (begins to bang loudly on the door)**

**(Sora presses a button)**

**(everything goes dark)**

**Sora:...Oops.**

**Riku: DUMB ASS!**

**Sora: Hey! I am not! Its not my fault that I like to press buttons that say "DO NOT PUSH."**

**AndromedaGalaxy: WOOF! WOOF! (banana doesn't even move)**


	25. Ch25 The Blood Thirsty Tin Man

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.25 The Blood Thirsty Tin Man**

**Sora: Okay, which button turns the light back on?**

**Riku: How am I suppose to know?**

**Sora:...I don't know.**

**Riku:...**

**Me: Guys, I would like to warn you that, when it gets too dark for awhile, the mole monsters like to feed at this time in the ceiling.**

**Sora and Riku:...00**

**(both hear heavy breathing)**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...Oh, sorry! That was me! It got too quiet.**

**Sora and Riku: Shwoo!**

**(both then hear growling noises)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Now, thats not me.**

**Me:...Uh oh.**

**Sora and Riku: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!**

**Yuffie, Sora, and Billy Bob (for short) continued to skip along the yellow paved road, when they came across a forest. Standing there stiff, was a rusted tin man.**

**"Whoa, that peice of metal, sure would look good in my front yard!" Billy Bob protests.**

**The others just look at him wierdly.**

**"What?"**

**Sora walked up to the tin thing. The thing didn't move, but its lips did.**

**"OIL ME OR I WILL RIP OUT YOUR INTESTANTS!"**

**"...Okay!" Sora says cheerfully and oils him.**

**"YES! I CAN MOVE! NOW TO KILL ALL OF YOU WORTHLESS, FLESHY HUMANS! Filled with...BEAUTIFUL BLOOD!"**

**"..."**

**"Would you like fries with that?" Billy Bob asks.**

**"Why yes pl-WAIT! I will NOT be tricked...Are you filled with...BLOOD?"**

**"Nope, only straw."**

**"Oh, little boy, come here and let me kill you."**

**Sora goes toward the tin man, but Yuffie grabs him.**

**"ARE YOU STUPID?" She yells at Sora.**

**"Is that a hitorical question?"**

**"ARGH! Just don't go near that thing!"**

**"Were looking for their lost friend! And for me a brain! Were going to see the Authoress of Oz!" Billy Bob explains.**

**"Oz, huh? Well, theres always been something I have longed for, besides ripping the throat out of everyliving thing on Earth and eating their carcuses."**

**"..."**

**"A heart!"**

**The same catchy beat comes on and the tin man begins to sing.**

**"I like to kill people, and other living things too. But times I get so lonely, I'm rusting, what to do? I wish that I could love. Feel like I can fly above. And not carry a grenade with me. Something everso special. Something to cherish. Something like a shrunkend head, but much better. Even much better, than having everyliving thing bleed to death and PERIIIIIIISH!"**

**"GULP! Can we go now?" Sora whispers to Yuffie.**

**Yuffie is just as scared as he is. The tin man continues.**

**"OOOOOOOOOH! If I only had a heart! Maybe then I will love life! If I only had a heart! And I wouldn't ever stab another one with a knife! Cause I knew it would hurt! OOOOOOOOOOOH! If I only had a heart! IIIIIIIF! IIIIII! ONLEEEEEEEE! HAAAAAAAAAD! AAAAAAA! HEAAAAAAAAAART!"**

**"Golly that was beautiful." Billy Bob wipes a tear from his eye.**

**"By the way, my name is Mary." The tin man says.**

**"MARY? THATS A GIRL'S NAME! HA HA HA HA!" Sora begins to laugh.**

**"SHUT UP OR I'LL BLOW YOUR FREAKIN HEAD OFF AND FEED IT TO THE HOMELESS!"**

**Sora got quiet.**

**"Well, come on! Lets go get me a heart!" **

**They then all wrap hands and continue to follow the yellow brick road singing "Were off to see the Authoress! The wonderful Authoress of Oz!"**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Me: GET OUT OF THERE!**

**(Riku and Sora run out, with some of their clothes torned.)**

**Me: I'm going in! I know what button to hit!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: WAIT! Scare the mole monsters off with this! (hands her the banana)**

**Me: I won't let you guys down!**

**Riku: GO ALREADY! **

**(BlueEyedFun goes in)**


	26. Ch26 LL Is For Loser Lion

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.26 LL Is For Loser Lion**

**Me: EEEEK! (grips banana)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: WHAT?**

**Me: I see it!**

**Sora: RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!**

**Me: NO! I have to fight it!**

**(fighting noises is heard)**

**(all of a sudden the power turns back on)**

**Riku, Sora, and AndromedaGalaxy: YAY! SHE DID IT!**

**(BlueEyedFun comes out dragging the mole monster)**

**Me: Now it's time to see who is the culprit! (pulls off mask) (it's Yuffie)**

**All: YUFFIE?**

**(pulls off another mask)**

**(it's Cloud)**

**All: CLOUD?**

**(pulls off another mask)**

**(its Abraham Lincoln)**

**All: ABRAHAM LINCOLN?**

**(pulls off another mask)**

**(its Leon)**

**All: LEON?**

**(tries to pulls off mask, but it won't come off)**

**Leon: OW! STOP IT! THAT HURTS! (rubs face)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: SQUALLY POO? HOW COULD YOU?**

**Me: Leon found his way to the ceiling and once he got their he loved it and wanted it only for himself, so he dressed up as a mole monster to scare us off.**

**Leon: Yes! And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you medeling kids!**

**Sora: Can we start the story now?**

**They continued to skip and Sora stopped and just stood there in shock.**

**"Sora, whats wrong?" Yuffie asks.**

**"I just realized something...Mary is a HEARTLESS!"**

**"DUH! We know that fella!" Billy Bob blurted out.**

**"Sora, he doesn't have a heart, but he isn't the HEARTLESS we know."**

**"..."**

**They then continued to skip along the road, until they got to a jungle like setting. A crying lion comes running in front of them, sees them, and curls up into a ball.**

**"PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!" The lion shreiks, he had a guy voice, but it was real light and cowardly like.**

**"We come in peace, don't worry." Yuffie says in a nice voice.**

**"BUT I DON'T!" Yells Mary and pulls out a knife.**

**"MARY DON'T!" They all scream and hold him back.**

**"Don't mind him, he's just like that." Yuffie explains to the lion.**

**The lion gets up.**

**"So what were you running from?"**

**The lion wipes his tears.**

**"An evil butterfly! He came out of no where and attacked me!" He points to an innocent butterfly fluttering on a rock.**

**"Were going to see Oz, so they can find their friend, Billy Bob can get a brain, and I can get a heart." Mary says.**

**"I wish I was brave like you guys! But there are so many things in this jungle that are scary!"**

**"Like what?" Sora asks.**

**"First, theres the butterflies, then the flowers, then the peacocks, then the rabbits, then the lion cubs, then the trees, and the rain!"**

**"..."**

**"Hey, maybe if you come with us, you can get some courage from Oz!" Sora exclaims.**

**"Good idea! I guess I will tag along, as long as it doesn't hurt. My name is Killer!" **

**"GASP! I WANTED THAT NAME! GIVE IT TO ME OR I WILL RIP OUT YOUR HEART AND GIVE IT TO MYSELF!" Mary screams out violently. Killer hides behind a rock.**

**"As again, don't mind him." Yuffie repeats herself.**

**Killer comes out and that same catchy beat comes on and he starts to sing.**

**"In the jungle, there are so many scares. Even around me theres a scary thing over there! Everything has a dark side! And it makes me! WANT TO HIIIIIIDE! **

**"Hee, hee...Wimp." Sora mutters to himself.**

**Yuffie hears.**

**"SHHHHHHHH!"**

**The song continues.**

**"I wish that I was brave! So many things to save! But I am the one who runs away! Cause I am the one that always says! HEEEEEEEEEELP MEEEEEEEEE! FROM THAT EVIL BUTTERFLY!" It zooms in on the peaceful butterfly. The song continues.**

**"OOOOOOH! If I only had some courage! Maybe then I won't be afraid! If I only had some courage! I would have the guts to grab some RAID! If I only had some courage! IF! I! ONLY! HAD! SOME! COOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!"**

**Song ends.**

**"I feel sorry for you." Sora says.**

**"All you need is a beer and a shot gun, thats what helps me." Billy Bob says.**

**"No, lets just go to Oz before my mommy gets back."**

**They then form hands and skip along the yellow brick road, with red footprints, singing "Were off to see the Authoress! The wonderful Authoress of Oz!"**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Sora: Wow, this chapter was longer than the other two.**

**Me: Well, at least the power is back on.**

**Riku: Soooooooo...Hmmm...How did you like the ceiling Leon?**

**Leon: Did you know, the bed in there, VIBRATES?**

**Riku: NO WAY!**

**Me: I SAID STOP REVEALING THE SECRETS-Oh what the heck, it's not really a secret anymore.**

**(AndromedaGalaxy pounces on Leon)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: I missed you so! (voice gets angry) SAY YOU MISSED ME TOO!**

**Leon in painful voice: GRRRRRRRRR...I...MISSED...YOU...TOO!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: YAY! Jam how do you turn on the vibrating bed?**

**Me:...It's not Jam.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Well do you know?**

**Me:...(walks away shivering)**

**(Riku and Sora follow with same grossed out expressions)**

**Leon: DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH HER!**


	27. Ch27 Ruby Slippers Come With Habic

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.27 Ruby Slippers Come With Habic**

**Me: Hi people!**

**Sora: So what happens now?**

**Me: This is totally random about what I'm going to say, but...RIKU I WANT YOU!**

**Riku:...(backs away)**

**Sora: Where did that come from?**

**Me:...I don't really know...I just wanted to blurt that out.**

**Riku:...**

**Sora:...(looks at Riku) (falls over giggling seeing his frightful expression)**

**Riku: DON'T GIGGLE! IT'S GAY!**

**Sora: (stops) I'm not gay...**

**Riku: YOU LIKE HELLO KITTY!**

**Sora: No I don't! (hides Hello Kitty plushie behind his back)**

**Me: Well I'm going to start the story now.**

**They all skipped along the road singing that same tune and they then reached a forest. A creepy one indeed. A puff of green smoke appeared in front of them.**

**"OH GOD! WHO FARTED?" Yuffie waved her hands in front of her face.**

**"Uuuh...That was me." Sora raised his hand.**

**"Oh, darn it! I wanted to claim it!" Billy Bob stomped his feet.**

**A wicked female voice is then heard.**

**"It was me..."**

**The green smoke fades and a horrible witch appears in it.**

**"I had too many beans for lunch."**

**Killer hides behind a tree.**

**"OMG! SHES HIDEOUS!" He screams.**

**"Why are you here?" Yuffie asked her.**

**"I want my sister's ruby slippers back."**

**"We don't have them!"**

**"Yes you do! One of you took them."**

**Sora whistles innocently. They all look at him.**

**"What? OH FINE! I took them! They just matched my outfit so much!" He pulls the slippers out of his Hello Kitty purse.**

**"How did you get them?" Yuffie looks at Sora angerly for getting them into the mess. The witch speaks for him.**

**"You see, my sister was terrorizing the munchkins and then you guys came along and your momma's fat ass sat on her and killed her, leaving the slippers behind."**

**That was harsh.**

**"So thats why they were in that pile of splattered goop." Sora said rubbing his chin thoughtfully.**

**"Now, GIVE THEM BACK!" The witch yelled at him.**

**"NEVER!" Sora pulled out his key blade.**

**"What is that doo-hickey?" Billy Bob asked.**

**"Its a key blade." Sora answered.**

**"It kind of looks like a dildo to me."**

**"ITS NOT A DIDLDO!"**

**"I knew it! I knew you were gay!"**

**"I am NOT!...Hey where did the slippers go?"**

**They look around. They see that the slippers are gone and so is the witch.**

**Killer walks out behind the tree.**

**"Is she gone now?"**

**"Yeah, shes probably afraid of dildos."**

**"ITS NOT A DILDO!"**

**"It is too." Mary comes in.**

**"It is a key blade and it is ment to defeat darkness and to open and lock key holes!"**

**"What kind of key holes?"**

**"QUIT CHANGING MY WORDS!"**

**"GUYS! STOP IT! We need to go find Riku!" Yuffie yells, interrupting the argument.**

**"No we need to get my slippers back."**

**"THERE NOT YOUR SLIPPERS!"**

**"Well I am going after them!" Sora then walks through the forest away from them.**

**The others try to call him back. He flips them a bird and doesn't even turn around.**

**"GASP! SORA YOU JERK!" Yuffie screams at him. **

**"Lets just forget him." Mary mentions. **

**They all then walk along the yellow brick road to Oz. Sora gets to a really dark part of the forest. He then hears someone following him. He turns around. No one is there. He grips the dildo-I mean key blade. **

**"COME OUT! SHOW YOURSELF!" **

**A girl comes out behind the tree.**

**"Who are you?" Sora asked.**

**"I'm lost...Can you help me?" The girl is wearing a blue country-side dress, carrying a picnic basket and has brown hair tied into two pony tails with blue ribbons.**

**"Sure, where do you live?"**

**"I don't really know."**

**"Then how am I suppose to HELP you?"**

**"I just want to get home."**

**"..."**

**The girl then walks away.**

**"Okay, that was wierd."**

**The girl then turns around and glares at him.**

**"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"**

**"That your wierd."**

**She pulls a sword out of the picnic basket. I wonder what ever happened to ToTo.**

**"Okay, you can put away the sword now." Sora backs away.**

**"I will destroy YOU and your magic dildo!"**

**"FOR THE LAST TIME IT IS A KEY BLADE!"**

**She then charges at him.**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Sora: How could anyone mistake a key blade for a dildo?**

**Me: Well, you have to admit it's funny.**

**Sora: No, it's just wrong.**

**Me: Where did AndromedaGalaxy go?**

**(Leon's screams are heard)**

**Me: That explains it.**

**Riku: I feel sorry for Leon.**

**Me: I don't know whats wrong with me, but I just feel like I want Riku soooooo bad.**

**Riku:...(hides behind Sora)**

**Sora: Hey! Get off of me!**

**Riku: I'm not even on you!**

**Me: I hate this Riku obsession I'm having lately. I have you as a desktop! And your on my binder at school, and this one guy laughs at me because I like you and I scream "HE'S MINE!" all the time.**

**Riku:...**

**Sora:...**

**Me: I know, like right?**


	28. Ch28 The Circle Of Life

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.28 The Circle Of Life**

**Me: Hello! (smile)**

**Sora: What are you so happy about?**

**Me:...I don't know. (looks over at Riku)**

**Riku:...What?**

**Me:...Must...Resist...Urge...To...Pounce...On...RIKU!**

**Sora: If I were you I would run Riku.**

**Riku:...(walks out slowly)**

**Me: OH GOD! What is wrong with me!**

**Sora: Its called hormones and puberty.**

**Me:...Oh yeah...I forgot, but this is an OBSESSION!**

**Sora: Maybe your just lonely.**

**Me: Seriously what is wrong with me?**

**Sora: PUBERTY!**

**Me: I KNOW THAT! **

**Sora: And lonelyness-**

**Me: SHUT UP! JUST START THE STORY!**

**Sora's screams are heard from the forest. **

**"Was that Sora?" Yuffie said worringly.**

**"It sounds like'em." Billy Bob said after her.**

**"Thats it, we gotta go check on him!" They then all run through the forest.**

**They reach the dark part and they see Sora's keyblade on the ground. Yuffie run towards it and picks it up.**

**"EW! DON'T TOUCH IT! It may have one of them STD'S on it." Billy Bob mentions.**

**"Its a KEY BLADE!" Yuffie tells him.**

**"...What ever."**

**"GULP, what do you think happened to him?" Killer asks, shaking.**

**"I don't know, but maybe if we hurry and get to Oz we can get Riku and Sora back."**

**They then run back to the yellow road. Later they see a dark and creepy castle.**

**"Is that Oz?" Yuffie asked all of them.**

**"No, thats where the evil witch lives." Mary answers.**

**"Maybe Sora is in there! Lets go!" All of them climb up into one of the windows. They hear voices coming from a door.**

**"Mother, I brought back lunch."**

**"Why, he looks tasty and he deserves a worser punishment for taking my slippers before."**

**"PLEASE NO! JUST LET ME GO!" That was Sora's voice.**

**They then bust down the door and see a girl wearing a blue dress holding Sora down on a table and the witch standing there smiling at him evily. If you didn't know what was going on, it would have kind of looked like a gang bang.**

**"LET HIM GO!" Mary yells.**

**"I HAVE TO GO PEE!" Sora screams.**

**"..."**

**"I CANT HOLD IT!"**

**Just to let you know, I have censored this.**

**The witch then melts. I let you think what happened. **

**"I'M MELTING!" She screams.**

**"Sweet relief." Sora sighs happily.**

**"MOTHER!" The girl cries as the witch turns into a puddle.**

**"Please don't cry." Yuffie says caringly.**

**Mary then walks up to the girl.**

**"At these times, wouldn't you just want to fly away?"**

**"Yes."**

**"Then I can help!" He then pushes her out the window behind her and she falls into the moat, then drowns, is eating by the mutated crockadiles, then that crockadile is eaten by a bigger crockidile, then is pooped out onto the surface, where teens were partying, got drunk, and set the poop on fire, which turned into ashes, then blew away into the wind, in some old guys face, and then he dies, and is in the ground from the funeral, and is devoured by worms, which mate and make baby worms, and they grow up, and then get eaten by a bird, who gets ate by a snake, and then is ate by an eagle, which is hunted down by a middle-eastern person who hates America, then eats the eagle, which is then pooped out and flushed, and that is the circle of life...**

**"Can we go now?" Sora asks.**

**"Yeah, we can."**

**"Oh, heres your dildo back." Mary hands the key blade to Sora.**

**"ITS NOT A DILDO!" Sora and Yuffie yell at the same time.**

**They then get out of the castle and continue to skip along the yellow brick road covered in red, gooey foot prints, singing "Were off to see the Authoress! The wonderful Authoress of Oz!"**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Sora:...No comment.**

**(more of Leon's screams is heard)**

**Sora: What do you think is happening to him?**

**Me: Horrible...Horrible things.**

**Sora: Like what? (his eyes grow wide in fear)**

**Me: You don't want to know...**

**(AndromedaGalaxy's voice is heard)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: OH YEAH! OOOOOOOH!**

**Me: MAKE IT STOP! (runs out screaming)**

**Sora: I think I'm going to be sick...(runs out too holding his mouth and grabbing his stomach)**


	29. Ch29 And Your Little Dog Too

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.29 And Your Little Dog Too**

**Me: I have so much to say right now!**

**Sora: NO! NOW YOU'LL NEVER SHUT UP AND START THE STORY!**

**Me:...As I was SAYING! I have so much I want to tell today! First I want to thank everyone who has been sending me nice reviews, and they are the reason why I have been writing-**

**Riku: These lame-ass chapters.**

**Me: DON'T FINISH MY SENTENCES! Now let me continue...And they are the reason why I have been writing theses lame-ass chapters.**

**Riku:...?**

**Me: What?**

**Riku: You just kind of repeated what I said.**

**Me: No, I said these crazy and hilarious chapters.**

**Riku:...You know what, just continue, we don't have time for an arguement.**

**Me in cheerful voice: Okay! Now I really do not know how to end this story, so I'm thinking about going for 100 chapters! Do you think I can do it? I just have so many ideas. I also want to mention that AndomedaGalaxy is a child abuser.**

**AndromedaGalaxy walks in: I AM NOT! Your even older than me!**

**Me: Yeah, from 3 months. You just hit me all day long.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: BECAUSE, you keep telling everyone I had sex with Squall! **

**Me: It was only one guy I told!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Yeah, but what if he tells ANOTHER person?**

**Me: He won't, because when I said it he had a terrified look on his face and he then ran into the boy's restroom and puked, then I picked the puke up with a pooper scooper and put it in your sandwhich you had at lunch.**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...I hate you.**

**Me:...(giggle)**

**Riku: What the fuck was that?**

**Me: POTTY MOUTH!**

**Sora: SOMEONE START THE STORY BEFORE I BEAT YOU ALL WITH THE BLOODY ENDS OF YOUR ARMS AND SHOVE MY KEY BLADE UP YOUR ASSES! (breathes heavy and foams at mouth)**

**All:...**

**Me: (whispering to others) Just back away slowly...**

**Riku whispering back: Lets just start the story now...**

**Later on after dying from having to hear Billy Bob's lame and not even funny knock knock jokes, they finally saw a green, and lucious castle...Maybe lucious isn't the right word for it, but you know what I mean.**

**"Is that Oz?" Yuffie asks while pointing.**

**"It is!" Sora shouts in disbelief.**

**"It looks sharp and pointy, I need to go back and get my pads!" Killer runs in the opposite direction. They grab him by the arm.**

**"NA UH! Not when we made it this far PUSSY!" Mary shouts in struggle from pulling him towards Oz.**

**They then all finally reach the gates. Sora knocks on the door and a little slit opens up and two eyeballs show.**

**"What are you here for?" It asks.**

**"To meet the Wonderful Authoress of Oz!" Sora says in delight.**

**"Whats the password?"**

**"Uuuuuh..."**

**"Don't take all day either."**

**"Riku's mom is a pedifile."**

**"No."**

**"Riku's mom is Michael Jackson?"**

**"NO. You get one more chance."**

**"Riku's mom is a-" Yuffie cups her hand over his mouth.**

**"I'll take this one." She says.**

**"I'm waiting."**

**"The password is The All Powerful Authoress is better and cooler than us."**

**"Thats correct."**

**Tee hee...It's true you know.**

**YOU WISH!**

**Hey get out of here!**

**The person behind the door lets them in. It is a munchkin female. It is AndromedaGalaxy!**

**I'll kill you Jam! I'LL KILL YOU!**

**Shhhhhhhh! I'm telling the story.**

**"OMG! MUNCHKIN!" Sora screams and gets out his pepper spray. Yuffie then holds him down.**

**"NO! DON'T KILL HER! SHES GOING TO HELP US!"**

**AndromedaGalaxy then leads them to a giant head of the Authoress.**

**"WHAT DID YOU COME FOR?" She says in a deep and booming voice.**

**"OMG! SHES HIDEOUS!" Killer runs out screaming.**

**"I AM NOT!" She then comes out behind the curtain.**

**"It's just that my face doesn't look good on that screen, so what have you come for?"**

**Killer walks in.**

**"We need our friend Riku back." Yuffie says.**

**"I need me one of thems brains so I can gots some smarts." Billy Bob says dumber as ever.**

**"I need a heart so I can love." Mary says.**

**"I wish I was brave and not a pussy." Killer says.**

**"Well, I cant help you with the organs and personality."**

**"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW."**

**"But the hospital and the mental institution in the castle can help you with that, its in the next room."**

**The cheesy Wizard of Oz characters walk out.**

**"What about Riku?" Sora asks.**

**"Oh I have had him all along."**

**"Oh...But why?"**

**"For special needs..."**

**"...Okay I don't want to know, can we have him back now? Clean?"**

**"Why yes, ANDROMADA! FETCH THE SEX SLAVE!"**

**"..."**

**AndromedaGalaxy brings back Riku by the hand and leads him to Yuffie and Sora.**

**"Yuffie you guide him, I'm not touching him." Sora says backing away from Riku.**

**"Oh! And one more thing."**

**"What?"**

**"May the force be with you...And your little dog too."**

**"...Uuuuh, thanks." Sora points at the Authoress and makes the crazy sign. Yuffie nods.**

**"Wait, aren't we suppose to get home?" Yuffie asks.**

**"Oh yeah." The Authoress snaps her fingers and they are all in the hall at Hallow Bastion.**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Sora: Is it over?**

**Me: Weren't you listening? I still have 71 chapters to go!**

**Riku: Sex slave? **

**Me:...Don't ask about my fantasies.**

**Riku: Oh god! (makes gagging noises)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: You will pay Jam...(in scary whisper voice) You will pay...In my story I will do something awful to you.**

**Me: Yeah, but you'll never make a story cause you have a short attention span.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: I do not!-hey a penny! (picks up penny)**

**Leon: (comes out of no where looking exhuasted) YES! I finally lost her! I'm free!**

**(AndromedaGalaxy looks up and sees Leon)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: SQUALL POO!**

**Me: RUN LEON RUN!**


	30. Ch30 Another Pointless Movie Scene

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.30 Another Pointless Movie Scene**

**Me: HI PEOPLES!**

**Peoples:...**

**Me: OH! FORGET YOU!**

**AndromedaGalaxy cheerfully: I played my instrument at the football game today!**

**Me:...Did you realize how wrong that sounded?**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...Foget I said that.**

**Me: Seriously she did, it was a band thing, and I really hope you did good! (hugs friend)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: ARGH! GET OFF OF ME YOU FREAK!**

**Me: I LOVE YOU!**

**Sora:...**

**Me: (lets go of her) I'll ask you tomorrow at school at lunch to see how it went!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Why did you hug me?**

**Me:...Cause I feel lonely.**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...Jam stop.**

**Me:...Okay. (pretends to pick nose) I'm delirious right now! That means I'm crazy and hyperactive!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: She had too many Oreos.**

**Me: (eye twitches) OREOS! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH! (climbs on the walls snarling and growling at near by pedestrians)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (sighs and gets leash) COME HERE JAM! Time for your rabies shots again!**

**Me: (growls and hides in the shadows)**

**Sora: I'm scared...**

**They all looked around. Yep, they were in Hollow Bastion. Yuffie grabs Riku by the hand so he won't get out of their sight again.**

**"I like pie." Riku says.**

**"We know you do Riku." Yuffie says still walking towards Aeris's room.**

**"I like Sora."**

**"Thats nice."**

**"They both taste good."**

**"..."**

**She then starts to walk really fast. Sora comes up behind them.**

**"Hey you forgot me back there!"**

**"Your too slow!"**

**"It's not my fault the invisible elves untie my shoes every minute!"**

**"Do they make cookies?" Riku asks innocently.**

**"Uuuh...No."**

**All of a sudden they get sucked into a black hole. They fall to the ground and one by one falls on top of another. They land on a white, huge space ship.**

**"Where are we?" Yuffie asks dizzily.**

**A giant banana hobbles up towards him.**

**"Sora." It talks in a deep voice.**

**"I am your father."**

**"...OMG! WERE IN STAR WARS!" Sora shreiks.**

**"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Yuffie screams. Lets see that in slow motion! Yuffie slowly throws her hands up into the air and her mouth gapes wide open and a slow, hurdling, deep voice shreiks "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"**

**"I want the banana!" Riku says like a little child and reaches out to touch the banana. Yuffie slaps his hand.**

**"NO! You do not know where that has been!"**

**"I have a question. Why are we in Star Wars?" Sora says to the giant banana.**

**"May the force be with you." It answers.**

**"...I'm gonna kill that Authoress."**

**Tee hee! You can't! I am invencible! Like Spider Man!**

**"...Spider Man is gay."**

**GASP! TAKE THAT BACK! HES MY FAVORITE SUPER HERO!...Sorry...Off topic again. Continue the story!**

**Sora pulls out his key blade and aims it at the giant banana threatingly. If that is a word.**

**"I demand you to get us back home!" He yells detemingly and bravely at it.**

**"What is that? A dildo?" **

**"NO! NOT AGAIN! IT IS A DAMN KEY BLADE! A KEY BLADE! NOT A DILDO! AND IT WILL NEVER BE!"**

**"Don't hide the truth."**

**"AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"**

**Sora then breaks down into an emotional mess.**

**"I KNOW WHY WE ARE HERE!" Yuffie screams in excitement.**

**She then looks around. She sees Sora rocking back and forth on the ground mumbling to himself and Riku trying to catch the invisible elves Sora has been talking about so much.**

**"Come back! I want you in my pants!" Riku shrieks in delight. Wierd sight if you ask me.**

**"Okay, like I was saying, Sora remember the weed you had a long time ago?"**

**Sora stopped rocking.**

**"Yeah."**

**"Well we probably just smoked some."**

**"No, we didn't."**

**"Why?"**

**"Cause Goofy and Donald asked me for it yesterday and I gave it to them."**

**"Why would they want weed."**

**(skips to a scene of Goofy and Donald getting high in a red and purple room filled with pillows and the song "Lets Get It On." is on.)**

**"Oh, man, we are so high..." Donald says woozily.**

**"Just like that snake banging that chipmunk over there." Goofy points to Dale wrestling with a garden hose.**

**"DON'T EAT ME!" He screams. He got high too.**

**"So what are we going to do after this?" Donald looks towards Goofy.**

**"Lets go on a killing spree."**

**"I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO FIGHT ANACONDA WITH ANACONDA!" Dale shreiks and pulls of his pants. He had pants?**

**Chip then walks in high too.**

**"Hey Dale! I brought hookers with me!" He points to a bunch of beeny babies in a wagon he carried with him.**

**They both jump in to do who knows what.**

**(skips back to Star Wars)**

**"So what do you want us to do giant banana?" Sora asks.**

**"Join me in the forces of darkness."**

**"You mean become gay?"**

**That was harsh.**

**"Yes. Now join me."**

**(back to talking with Sora.)**

**Sora: Hee! Hee! Chipmunks getting high? **

**Chip: I AM MAD!**

**Dale: Uuuuh...ME TOO!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Can someone help me? (looks over at BlueEyedFun in a cage trying to get out and is foaming at the mouth) **

**(AndromedaGalaxy holds her back by poking her with a stick)**

**Riku: CAN SOMEONE JUST GIVE THAT GIRL AN OREO?**


	31. Ch31 A Hideous Site

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.31 A Hideous Site**

**Sora: Hey I found an oreo! (picks up oreo from ground)**

**Me: (eyes twitches insanely) OREO!**

**Riku: GIVE HER THE OREO!**

**Sora: EEEEK! (throws oreo at BlueEyedFun)**

**(all hide behind rock and watch)**

**Me: (hesitates) (takes bite) (spits it out) AAAH! I LIKE DOUBLE STUFFED ONLY!**

**(all glare at Sora)**

**Sora in high scared voice: I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T KNOW!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Hey, is that a double stuffed oreo in Riku's hair?**

**Riku: I have nothing in my-**

**(BlueEyedFun pounces on Riku's head and bites him)**

**Riku: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! GET HER OFF OF ME! **

**(others are gone)**

**Riku: YOU TRADERS!**

**(Sora's voice is heard from afar)**

**Sora: We never liked you anyway!**

**"Well, from what I heard I have already been gay." Sora continues the conversation.**

**"Then it will be easy to join again."**

**"But I don't wanna."**

**Riku walks up to the banana with a big smile on his face.**

**"I have you in my pants."**

**"..."**

**"The invisible elves are in there too."**

**"...Okaaaay...I have good news and bad news."**

**"Whats the bad news?" Yuffie asks.**

**"The bad news is that I'm going to have Chubaca malest you." All look at a horny Chubaca growling slow and rubbing his belly.**

**"..."**

**"The good news is that I saved money on my car insurance by switching to Geico."**

**"Can I eat you?" Riku looks at the banana.**

**"Uuuh...No."**

**"Can I play with you?"**

**"...No."**

**"Can I-"**

**Yuffie bangs him over the head with the key blade.**

**"NO MORE!"**

**Riku falls to the ground. He doesn't move.**

**"You killed him!" Sora screams.**

**"I didn't mean to! He was just-just-just being an idiot!"**

**Sora starts to poke Riku with a stick.**

**"Hey! This is actually fun!"**

**Poke, poke, poke, poke, poke...**

**Sora then feels something poking him. **

**"Yuffie, quick poking me with the key blade!" **

**"But I'm over here!" She's standing next to the banana.**

**"...Then...Who's doing it?" He hears a Chubaca noise behind him.**

**"I'm feeling really horny right now." Says a deep growling voice.**

**"OMG!" Sora runs away screaming with his hands in the air.**

**"Wait! Sora! Get Riku's body away from the Chubaca! I think hes still breathing!"**

**Riku gets up woozily.**

**"Hey...Oooo...I feel straight...What happened? Where are we?" Riku then sees something in front of him dangling between his nose. He becomes speechless and it seems like all the questions in the world have been answered. It was like looking into the eyes of god. Everything revealed itself. The truth and answers to everything, he had became a genius, all because he saw a Chubaca's winky. It's too bad right after he saw it he passed out and forgot all the answers to the world.**

**"I SAID GET THE CHUBACA AWAY FROM RIKU!" Yuffie screams angerly at Sora again.**

**"Too...Shocked...By...Creepy...Site...To...Help..."**

**Yuffie jumps on the back of the Chubaca and wacks him with the key blade.**

**"DIE, DIE, DIE!" **

**Yoda walks in naked.**

**"I'm ready for my excotic massage!"**

**Everyone stares at him. Their eyes start to bleed.**

**"Oh...I guess this is the wrong time..." He walks away backwards slowly.**

**"IT HURTS SO MUCH!" Sora screams.**

**"I can't remember anything." Yuffie says.**

**"Rararuraaaaaaaaah!" The Chubaca roars and throws Yuffie off his back and stomps off towards Yoda...Oh god...I feel sick...Seriously I do...Do you realize what I just typed? Oh, god, seriously I'm going to puke. Remember I am the light hearted.**

**The banana peels from the hideous sites that have been seen on Yoda. The banana crumbles into mushy pieces.**

**"Now we'll never get home!" Sora cries and sits on Riku with his face in his hands sobbing.**

**"I think I'm dead...I see a bright light." Yuffie says in a depressing way.**

**They then all see a tunnel of light.**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Riku: GET OFF MY HEAD! (throws BlueEyedFun off of his head)**

**Me: ROAR! (hides in the shadows)**

**(AndromedaGalaxy walks in with a butterfly net)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (speaks to BlueEyedFun in a slow voice) Shhhhhh...Jam...It's me...Andromada, you know...Your BEST friend...Eversince 4th grade...Remember me?...I'm here to help you...Just calm-**

**(BlueEyedFun pounces on her)**

**Me: OREO!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!**

**Me: (sniffs her pockets) NO OREOS! AAAAAAAARGH! (goes back into the shadows)**

**(Sora walks in eating a banana)**

**All:...(stare at him)**

**Sora:...What?**

**Me: OREO!**


	32. Ch32 One Free Hand

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.32 One Free Hand**

**Me: WAAAAAAAAH! In real life I'm out of Oreos too!**

**Riku: I really feel sorry for the people who you hang out with.**

**Me: BUT, my daddy is bringing home more Oreos for me!**

**Sora: YAY! No more madness!**

**Me: I'm mad at Andromada though...**

**AndromedaGalaxy: GASP! Why?**

**Me: YOU STOLE HALF MY LUNCH AT SCHOOL!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Only a couple of french fries...**

**Me: YOU ONLY LEFT ME FIVE! You need to pack a bigger lunch or eat breakfast.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Tell my mom that.**

**Me:...AT LUNCH I AM STARVING, AND PEOPLE THINK I'M ANIREXIC BECAUSE OF YOU!**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...So, now it bothers you?**

**Me: SHORTY MAC SHORT SHORTS! ELFEN COOKIES!**

**Sora: HA HA HA! Shorty!**

**Me: (punches Sora in the stomach) SHUT UP! Only I can make fun of her shortness. Shes MY midget!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: I have a strange feeling that I hate Jam, but appreciate her at the same time...Hmmm...Wierd.**

**Me: That same guy I was talking about the other day called me a Squall raper, and I said no, I'm a Riku raper.**

**Riku:...**

**Sora:...**

**AndromedaGalaxy: HEE HEE HA HA HEEEE!**

**Me:...I know that was creepy instead of funny...**

**Riku:...Because of you I have a low reputation now...**

**Sora: Lets shut up now, because the back to talking thing is going to be longer than the story.**

**"Lets jump in it!" Sora said in delight as he was going blind staring at it.**

**"Worth a shot!" Yuffie called.**

**They then jumped in with Sora grabbing Riku by his feet. They then fell back into the hall of Hollow Bastion...AGAIN.**

**"Wow! How did we get here?" Sora said while scratching his head.**

**A voice is then heard from the sky. It was The All Powerful Authoress.**

**"You are here because Yoda's nakedness was so powerful it unleashed a port hole through time and space into where your location was and it ripped into the sky, forming the tunnel of light, to here." **

**"Wooooow...Now what was that? You lost me at "You." Sora said with a clueless expression on his face.**

**"Dumb ass."**

**"GASP! SHE SAID A BAD WORD!"**

**A different voice is heard. It's AndromedaGalaxy.**

**"YEAH BITCH!"**

**"GASP! She said one TOO!"**

**"SHUT UP!" Yuffie hits Sora over the head with a frying pan.**

**Sora rubs his head.**

**"Oooooow! Where did you get that?"**

**Riku woke up.**

**"It was in my panties." He said.**

**"...You wear panties?"**

**"Yeah, their pink and they have butterflies on them."**

**"..."**

**"And naked men with-"**

**"I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!" Sora covers his ears and screams "LA! LA! LA! LA!"**

**Riku tackles Sora to the ground. He pulls off Sora's pants.**

**"AH! GET OFF ME! I AM NOT TRADING PANTS WITH YOU!" Sora yells angerly.**

**Riku stops.**

**"Trading pants? I just wanted to have sex."**

**"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Sora throws Riku off of him and hides behind Yuffie...Pantless.**

**"You better not poke me with that thing." Yuffie says to Sora.**

**Sora cuffs his winky, which was apparently standing up.**

**"I cant help it if your outfits are so revealing!" Sora yells at her.**

**Yuffie hits him over the head again with the frying pan.**

**Sora was out cold.**

**The next thing Sora knew, he was lying in bed in his room. There was a note taped to his shirt. It was written by Yuffie. He then began to read it out loud.**

**"Hey sorry about knocking you out you little horny creep. I just wanted to hurt you...Thats all. Aeris is with Riku right now, trying to find a cure. I had to lock Cloud or "The Panty Monster" as you call him, in the closet. It took me awhile to bound and gag him. As for what I'm doing...You don't want to know...I will give you a hint...Squall needed some help in making his hotdog in the kitchen sizzle...Don't ask me what that means. You need to get some rest, so take the day off! Enjoy yourself! Because I am enjoying my time too!"**

**Sora did what the note said to do. He decided to go to bed early. So he took off all his clothes, except his boxers and hopped into bed. Later he couldn't sleep, so he got out his gameboy and played for awhile. It was then the middle of the night and his cellphone began to ring. He jumped out of bed and answered it.**

**"Hello?"**

**"Hhhh...Hhhh...Hhhh...I know what your wearing you sexy beast."**

**"WHAT?"**

**"I'm out your window."**

**Sora slowing cocks his head at the window. He sees a chipmunk staring at him seductably,**

**pushing himself up against the glass, and making friction with his...You know...The ONE HAND THING...I don't know the name for it...I don't even want to know.**

**Sora ran up to the window and closed the curtains.**

**"Stupid, doped, horny chipmunk." He mutters under his breath and hops back into bed. **

**Goofy and Donald then run in covered in blood.**

**"OMG! WHAT HAPPEN TO YOU GUYS!" Sora screams uncontrollably from the sight.**

**The two doped up animals grin. Goofy talked first.**

**"We killed him!"**

**"K-k-k-k-killed who?"**

**"Shamooooooo!" Donald says happily while jumping for joy.**

**"YOU WENT TO SEAWORLD AND KILLED SHAMOO? Oh and shamoo is a girl."**

**"Yeah, hey Donald are we gonna call the president and tell him about the bomb?" Goofy asks Donald.**

**"WHAT BOMB?" Sora screams.**

**"The one we inplanted in your brain."**

**"OMG!" Sora then runs around in circles screaming and grabbing his head.**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Me: I know, this chapter wasn't as funny. The next on is going to be. I already planned it out. I'm just not going to write it right now, because I'm lazy.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Like what?**

**Me:...I cant tell you. I'm not making it up either, it is.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Riku sure doesn't talk much.**

**Riku: Because I'm afraid to talk. Because I am afraid of that thing. (points to BlueEyedFun staring at the sun.)**

**Me: SO BRIGHT! HURTS! MUST LOOK MORE!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Jam thats-**

**(Sora covers her mouth)**

**Sora: No! Let her...Muwahahahahaa...**

**Riku: (cough)**


	33. Ch33 Best Day Ever

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.33 Best Day Ever**

**Me: I finally got my Oreos with milk! YAY!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Yay! Besides, all my butterfly nets are ripped because of you!**

**Me: It's not my fault your so careless with them.**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...Do you even remember what happened?**

**Me:...What?**

**AndromedaGalaxy: When you went rabid for Oreos.**

**Me: You know, it is really tiring to type your long username.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: ANSWER THE QUESTION!**

**Me: YES! I DO!**

**Sora: You may now kiss the bride!**

**Me: Kiss me my love! (makes out with Oreo)**

**Riku: What did I miss here?**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...So...DISTURBING.**

**Me: WEEEEE! (throws bouqet)**

**(lands in Riku's arms)**

**Riku: EW! FLOWERS! SO GIRLY! GET THEM AWAY FROM ME! (passes it to Sora)**

**Sora: YAY! Ooooooooooooh KAIRI! WHERE ARE YOU? **

**Me: Start the story! (goes on honey moon)**

**"I have so much to live for!" Sora screams insanely.**

**"HOW MUCH TIME DO I HAVE LEFT?" **

**Goofy scratches his head.**

**"Uuuuh...24 minutes." **

**"24 MINUTES?"**

**"Oh sorry, I mean 24 hours."**

**"A DAY? I DON'T BELIEVE IT! I gotta make this the best day ever!"**

**Sora then runs out screaming with his hands in the air and slams the door. Goofy and Donald are left alone.**

**"Wow, he sure is gullable...Should we tell him we were lying?" Goofy asks Donald.**

**"Naaaaaah, this is gonna be good."**

**Sora runs out into the hall and looks around. He had to do the most ultimate thing that day. He runs into Yuffie's bed room. He goes towards her underwear droor. He grabs a pair of light green ones with panda bears and bamboo on them. He pervertedly sniffs them. Yuffie walks in pulling Leon by the hand. Both stop in their tracks.**

**"Sora?"**

**Sora turns around in suprise real quick.**

**"UH! HI! I JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF I CAN BORROW THESE!"**

**"...No."**

**"OKAY! JUST WONDERING!"**

**He then runs out. He began to think again. What was more ultimate than sniffing Yuffie's underwear? Joining the The Panty Monster in frolick! He then runs to the closet and pulls Cloud out. He unbounds him.**

**"CLOUD! Lets go steal panties!"**

**"Yay! Panty raid! Who's panties do we steal?" Cloud says in a pervertedly whisperish voice.**

**"Well, Yuffie's room is occupied."**

**Noises are heard from her room.**

**"OH LEON! Harder! HARDER!"**

**"BUT YUFFIE! IT HURTS!"**

**It then goes back to showing Sora and Cloud in the hallway.**

**"I usually hit Aeris's room." Cloud mentions.**

**"No...Lets try someone new...RIKU'S ROOM!"**

**"...Riku? Are you gay?"**

**"NO!...Just want to try something new."**

**They then sneak into Riku's room. Right when they walked in the line between manlyness and sissyness had been broken in his room. The room was painted pink and his bed was king sized with pink silk curtains hanging down from it and at least 30 pillows and 25 stuff animals on it. Everything else was pink and fluffy. Including the ceiling and floor. **

**"Are you sure this is Riku's room?" Cloud asks, looking around in shock.**

**"Yeah."**

**"How do you know?"**

**Sora points to the bright, yellow neon sign above his bed, it reads "Riku Is Awesome."**

**"Are you sure this isn't the authoress's room?"**

**"No, she isn't that obsessed or girly. Or derranged. WHO WANTS EVERYTHING TO BE FLUFFLY IN THEIR ROOM?"**

**"Apparently Riku."**

**They then get into his underwear droor. It was like a whole Victoria Secrets store in one little droor. **

**"OMG!" They said in unison.**

**"PICK ME!" Said a voice in the droor.**

**"HUH?"**

**Something wiggled under a panty and it popped it's head out. It was an elf.**

**"Lick my lollypops!" It says in a high pitch squeaked voice.**

**Sora closes the droor and walks away in disbelief. He then drags Cloud by the arm, out the door.**

**"NOOOOOOO! I WANT TO TASTE HIS LOLLYPOPS!" Cloud yells sadly as he is being dragged.**

**Right then in the hall, Riku runs right by them naked, screaming. Aeris is chasing him with a potion.**

**"WAIT! JUST ONE MORE!" She calls.**

**"NO! NO! THEY MAKE WEE WEE SMALLER!"**

**"ITS ALREADY SMALL!"**

**"Have you ever noticed that Riku kind of looks like a girl?" Cloud looks towards Sora.**

**Sora just looks shocked again. He then starts to sweat. Aeris finally catches Riku and hand cuffs him. Which if you kind of look at it, it seems REAL wrong...EEEK! IMAGES IN HEAD!**

**A penguin then waddles by. **

**"What is a penguin doing here?" Aeris asks, while keeping a hold on Riku...Oh god...It still sounds wrong.**

**The penguin talks.**

**"I SMOKED WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED TODAY."**

**Donald and Goofy run in.**

**"Hey! I knew we left the penguin gate opened at sea world!" Donald yells.**

**"He stole all are weed too!" Goofy calls second.**

**Mickey then walks in giggling and woozily.**

**"No! That was me!"**

**"THE KING!" They all call at once.**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Me: Trust the Midus touch!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: WHAT DA?**

**Me: Let the Midus touch you! TRUST THE MIDUS!**

**Riku: Maybe she had too many Oreos.**

**Me: I ate my husband!**

**Sora: The food chain!**

**Me: TOUCH ME MIGHTY MIDUS!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: She's crazy right now...It's scary.**

**Me in evil whisperish voice: The Midus touched me-**

**AndromedaGalaxy: JAM STOP!**

**Me: TEE HEE HA HA HEE!**


	34. Ch34 This Chapter Is Dedicated To

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.34 This Chapter Is Dedicated To**

**Me: Hi! From the title of this chapter, you must think that someone died...No...BUT it is for AndromedaGalaxy, BECAUSE! (drum roll) She finally made a STORY! ON FANFICTION!**

**Sora:...Oh...Sorry, YAY!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: You gave me the idea for the story, and THANK YOU! Yay! A chapter dedicated to ME! I feel so special! Not as in retarded, as in genuine.**

**Me: Her story name sounds sort of like Kingdom Crazies, except different things go on. Her story is called "Kingdom Chaos" and in the story she captures some of the Kingdom Hearts characters and makes them do a survival thing in the Hollow Bastion castle. There will also be romance. Its a real cool story. **

**AndromedaGalaxy: She's the editor.**

**Me: I know! It's so much fun! This chapter is a true story about what happened to me and Andromada once. Yuffie plays me and Aeris plays her! More craziness has been added.**

**Riku: START THE DAMN STORY! You are all giving me a headache!**

**Me: FINE! I HATE YOU! I WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN! (storms off)**

**Sora: Okaaaay...That was WIERD.**

**"King Mickey! What are you doing here?" Sora asks.**

**"I have come to warn you that a monster has been unleashed into the castle."**

**"A heartless?"**

**"No."**

**"A nobody?"**

**"No, just a ghoulish monster. I suggest you all sleep together tonight, for safety."**

**"WHAT?"**

**"I mean all the girls in one room and all the boys in another."**

**"...Oh."**

**"I shall go now." Mickey then turns around to walk away and runs into the wall, while falling to the ground afterwards.**

**"Should we help him?" Goofy asks, looking at Donald.**

**"No, we can use him as bait to catch the monster."**

**Nightfall then came and Yuffie and Aeris were left alone in Aeris's room, because her room was bigger than Yuffie's.**

**"Sleepover!" Yuffie cries out in joy.**

**"Well, we can call it that." Aeris then turns around. A bowl of popcorn and pillows cover Yuffie.**

**"COME ON! You know you wanna." Yuffie says with a daring look.**

**"Wanna what?"**

**"You make it sound WRONG! Have a "FUN" sleep over."**

**"I would like too, but I have this spell I need to go over." Aeris then picks up the spell book.**

**"FINE! I'm going to go get a drink of water." Yuffie then walks down the hall towards the nearest kitchen. She takes her time getting a drink of water. An idea pops into her head. She takes off her shorts and throws them on the kitchen floor. She then hides behind the counter. **

**"When Aeris gets worried and comes to find me, she'll see my shorts on the ground and that something got me. That will get some sleepover fun." Yuffie whispers to herself happily. **

**She then waits...And waits...And waits...No one comes. Then Yuffie's eyes start to play tricks on her with the darkness. She ignores the tricks, but what if someone else would find her in her underwear? That would be embarrassing. She then hears heavy breathing behind her. Oh, no! Could it be Dale or Chip? Or WORSE, the horny Chubaca! (or Wooky as I just found out the true name.) She slowy turns her head and sees a dark figure. It didn't look like anybody she knew, so she did what every mature and courageous person would do...She gets up screaming and running towards her shorts. She swiftly grabs them and runs back all the way to Aeris's room screaming. Right before she goes in, she gets a thought. She quickly puts on her shorts and checks the boy's room. They were all asleep. She runs back to Aeris's room. Right when she closes the door, she sees a dark figure appear from outside.**

**"AERIS! I SAW SOMETHING!"**

**Aeris didn't even move her eyes from the book.**

**"What?"**

**"SOMETHING! SOMETHING OUT THERE! LIKE A GHOST! OR THE MONSTER! I SAW IT!"**

**Aeris then put the book down.**

**"Your scaring me, stop it."**

**"SERIOUSLY I DID!" Yuffie then grabs three clothes hangers from the closet.**

**"Come on! Lets go check it out!" She then passes two of the hangers to Aeris.**

**"I am not going OUT THERE!" Aeris says freaked out and drops the hangers. Yuffie wasn't paying attention. **

**"Do you have a flashlight?"**

**"No, but come on, lets just stay in here. Are you sure you just didn't see a shadow?"**

**"NO! I HEARD IT BREATHING! NOW COME ON!" Yuffie then starts to grab Aeris by her hand and pull her.**

**"No! I don't want to go!"**

**"YES YOU WILL! CAUSE I AM NOT GOING ALONE! I'LL PROTECT YOU!"**

**"Okay, fine! Just stop yelling!" Aeris then follows Yuffie into the hallway. Both doing James Bond moves up against the wall...Badly.**

**"I don't see anything." Aeris whispers.**

**They then see something sitting lazily on the couch.**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Sora: Did that really happen?**

**Me: Well the seeing the dark figure in her house was true, I got freaked out and it took me forever to talk her into coming to see it with clothes hangers. It was really her little brother. Another time before that, I did the pants thing, late at night though, when everyone was asleep. She never came because she was reading stories on THIS WEBSITE! She forgot I was even gone. Some friend you are!**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...Huh?...Oh...Sorry, I was busy reading another story.**

**Me:...I'm confused...How can you do that?**

**Riku: You all are freaks.**

**Me: Is the only thing you say AN INSULT?**

**Riku:...No...Today I'm in a good mood.**

**All?**

**AndromedaGalaxy: EVERYONE READ MY STORY! BlueEyedFun helped me too! **

**Me: YEAH! You all BETTER!...No, you don't have to if you don't want to.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: We aren't pressuring you.**

**Me: Were just saying that if you don't you'll get hurt.**

**Sora:...Brain...HURTS!**


	35. Ch35 Monster Fishing

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.35 Monster Fishing**

**Me: Hi! This chapter may be long...I don't know.**

**Sora: Okay...**

**Me:...THATS IT! RIKU YOU ARE SO QUIET!**

**Riku: (takes off head phones) Huh? I heard my name.**

**Me: YOU DON'T TALK ANYMORE!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: AH! Quit yelling!**

**Me: FINE!**

**Riku: It's just that I have nothing really important to say.**

**Me: Sniff...I remember...When YOU...Use to...TALK! (breaks down crying)**

**Sora: Is she okay?**

**AndromedaGalaxy: She's just sad because she wants to leave chocolate forever and she's taking her sadness out on Riku.**

**Me: (stops crying all of a sudden) You know whats wierd? I think everyone at school knows I love Riku.**

**Riku:...**

**Me: They say you look like a girl.**

**Riku: THEY WHAT? (steam comes out ears)**

**Sora: OOO! (runs hands through steam) Riku can fart out his ears!**

**Riku: SHUT UP! (punches Sora in the stomach) **

**(Sora falls to the ground in pain)**

**Me: I then say, yeah I know, he's beautiful.**

**Riku:...I'M NOT BEAUTIFUL! I'm handsome.**

**Sora: (big childish grin on face) I think your handsome Riku.**

**Riku: Don't even play like that.**

**Me: Also, they make fanfics about Riku and Sora.**

**Riku and Sora at the same time: WHAT?**

**Me: I like that though, I don't like you straight Riku.**

**Riku:...**

**Sora:...**

**Me: BECAUSE, if you don't love me, then you have to be gay.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: I LOVE SQUALLIE!**

**All: WE KNOW THAT!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Well, JEEZ you all are so mean! **

**Me in cute voice: Did you know that Cloud has a pink teddy bear named Mr. Snuffums? He's his snuggle buddy!**

**Cloud: DO NOT!**

**Me: Uh, huh! I can make it so!**

**Cloud: Na uh...**

**Me: Just watch me!**

**Aeris swiftly turned on the blinding lights. On the couch the light revealed Sora, Donald, and Goofy sitting on the couch, Sora holding a fishing rod with Mickey, passed out, who's tail was tied in a knot to the hook, and all of them were putting their hands in front of their faces to hide from the light.**

**"What are you guys DOING?" Yuffie asked in total dismay...NOTE: I don't really know what dismay means...I just wanted to use a big word.**

**Sora was the first to adjust to the light and talk.**

**"Argh! My eyes!...Were fishing for the monster!"**

**"With the KING as BAIT!" Aeris shouted.**

**"TURN OFF THE LIGHTS! YOU'LL SCARE OFF THE MONSTER!" Donald says in panic.**

**Yuffie turns them off. Goofy pulled out a tiny flashlight from his pocket and turns it on, aiming it at the two girls then the fishing rod.**

**"Now answer my QUESTION!" Aeris then says.**

**"SSSSH! Whisper." Goofy says, making the whisper sign.**

**"Now answer." Aeris says, while clenshing her teeth in rage.**

**"Well, we tried a dead chicken and the monster wouldn't come, but now we think live bait will work." Sora finally answers.**

**Aeris and Yuffie then join them on the couch, just for the heck of it. They wait and wait, and no monster comes. Soon they all fall asleep on the couch, except for Sora, who only struggled not to fall asleep.**

**"Must...Catch...Monster." He says under his breath.**

**He sees a swift shadow and then King Mickey is gone from the hook. Sora jumps off the couch in suprise.**

**"HE TOOK THE KING!" He shouts in panic. The others wake up.**

**"WHA?" They all say, just awakening in confusion.**

**Sora then speaks in a shocking, but calm voice. **

**"The monster...It...It t-t-took THE KING!" **

**The all gasp...Like NO DUH! He was gonna get captured anyway.**

**"We must get him back!" Donald shouts.**

**"We were using him as bait, but we didn't expect him to get captured." Goofy says right after Donald in excuse.**

**"We have to go get him!" Sora says in anger.**

**Cloud then walks in with his giant sword in his hand...Hee, hee...That sounds SO wrong...You know what I mean by his sword right? The sharp pointy thing...NOT the fleshy thing.**

**"He took something from you too?" Cloud says in a quiet, calm, angry voice.**

**"Yeah, the King...Didn't you hear?" Yuffie mentions.**

**"He took something really special from me...And I will kill him."**

**"But Cloud! I'm right here!" Aeris says in a loving voice and reaching out for a hug from him.**

**"No...He took...He took.."**

**"WHAT DID HE TAKE ALREADY!" Yuffie says in frustration.**

**"MR. SNUFFUMS!" Cloud shouts in a high pitched angry voice, holding back tears.**

**"..."**

**"Who's Mr. Snuffums?" Donald asks.**

**"My snuggle buddy...MY TEDDY BEAR!"**

**"YOU WOULD LEAVE ME FOR A TEDDY BEAR?" Aeris asks as a hitorical question with fire burning in her eyes.**

**Cloud tries to avoid the flames that are moving towards him from Aeris. His hair catches on fire from the use of all the flammable hair spray he has used to make his hair form that way.**

**"OMG!" Cloud runs around in circles screaming.**

**Goofy then picks up a rug and throws in on top of Cloud. Cloud falls to the ground from the heavyness of the rug. Sora runs up to Cloud and begins to kick him constantly very hard.**

**"MUST...PUT OUT...FLAMES!" Sora yelps after each kick.**

**"Uuuh...Sora, kicking Cloud won't put out the flames." Yuffie adds.**

**"I know, I'm just mad at him because he didn't let me have the last slice of pizza at supper." Sora continues to kick Cloud. Goofy and Donald have to pull Sora away from him. **

**Cloud moans in pain under the rug. Yuffie then pulls off the rug. Cloud looks like he is in perfect condition. Cloud gets up like nothing happened.**

**"WHA? AREN'T YOU SUPPOSE TO BE MESSED UP LOOKING?" Yuffie asks in surprise.**

**"No, I'm too cool to be messed up looking." **

**"How is that possible?"**

**"Only beautiful people can contain this power."**

**"WHY I OUGHTA!" Yuffie gets ready to punch him out, but the others hold her back.**

**"Now...I MUST FIND MR. SNUFFUMS!" A tear then falls from his eye.**

**"All the secrets I have shared with him...All the laughs...All the conversations...All the snuggles...ALL OF AERIS'S PANTIES!"**

**"Did Mr. Snuffums smell like Aeris's panties Cloud?" Sora asks.**

**"Yes."**

**"Then thats probably why he took him."**

**"I think I came face to face with the monster." Yuffie mentions.**

**"You did?"**

**"Yeah, I was getting a drink of water, I'm not telling what I did after that, but when I turned around I saw a dark figure."**

**"You did?" Goofy asks as innocently as he could.**

**"Yeah."**

**"What were you doing?" Sora asks in curiosity.**

**"I might as well tell it. I thought it would be funny if I take off my shorts and threw them on the kitchen floor and hide, so when Aeris came to look for me, she would find them and think something bad happened to me. I was hiding behind the counter, then later I heard heavy breathing behind me and-"**

**Goofy then burstes out with guilt.**

**"OKAY! IT WAS ME!" He shouts then covers his mouth.**

**"YOU WERE BEHIND HER?" Aeris shouts in surprise.**

**"I'm sorry, but when you look like me, it's hard to get laid."**

**"HELLO! WE FORGOT ABOUT MR. SNUFFUMS!" Cloud jumps up and down waving his hand and sword...Tee hee.**

**"Careful! You might break something with your long sword!" Aeris calls out to him over his yelps of attention...Tee hee...The sword thing sounds so wrong.**

**"FINE! I'M GOING TO LOOK FOR KING MICKEY AND MR. SNUFFUMS WITHOUT YOU!" Cloud then stomps off. No one notices.**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Sora singing: I'm too sexy for my shirt-Too sexy for my shirt-Too sexy for my-I'm too SEXY! (takes shirt and other accesories on his chest off)**

**All:...**

**Sora continues to sing: I'm too sexy for my pants-Too sexy for my pants-Too sexy for my-I'm TOO SEXY! (takes off pants and belt)**

**All:...(shocked)**

**Sora still singing: I'm too sexy for my briefs-Too sexy for my briefs-Too sexy for my-I'M TOO SEXY! (is about to take briefs off)**

**All: NO SORA! NO!**

**Sora: FINE! (puts clothes back on) You all just can't handle my sexyness.**

**Me:...(happily) RIKU'S TURN!**

**Riku: Not gonna work!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: SQUALLIE'S TURN!**

**(Leon is heard from afar)**

**Leon: NO! NEVER! PLEASE NO MORE HORROR!**

**Me: Hey where did Andromada go?...On second thought nevermind.**

**(Leon's screams are then heard)**


	36. Ch36 Screw Ups

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.36 Screw Ups**

**Me: Hi, I'm not really going to do a REAL chapter for this one.**

**Sora: OH GOD! I HATE THESE THINGS!**

**Me: Your probably asking why? **

**Riku: No.**

**Me: Well you see, I screwed up today.**

**Riku: I don't care.**

**Me: I wrote a note to my ex boyfriend, about that I still love him, hes nicer to me this year, and it just makes me remember what we use to be. Before lunch I forgot we don't have those slits in our lockers, you know, where AIR can come out, so I had to stick it half way in a creak. After lunch, I stopped by his locker before he did, and saw that the note was GONE.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: GASP! Who took it?**

**Riku: Don't CARE.**

**Me: Thats the thing, I DON'T KNOW!**

**Sora:...Am I suppose to make a comment?**

**Me: I'm prepared if someone asks though.**

**Sora: Do I?**

**Me: I'll just say one of my friends wrote that as a joke.**

**Sora: DO I?**

**Riku: SHUT UP! ALL OF YOU!**

**Me: Now if HE asks, I'll say the truth.**

**Sora: What is the point of this chapter?**

**Me: Oh yeah! I forgot! I am going to do a real funny thing!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: YAY!**

**Me: This chapter, I am going to show deleted scenes and bloopers from some of the chapters I wrote!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: YAY!**

**Riku: Oh god...**

**Sora: Oh RIKU! OOOOOOH! HARDER! HARDER!  
**

**(Riku looks over at Sora, shocked)**

**Riku: What the hell was that?**

**Sora:...(eyes grow wide) I don't know.**

**Me: Let the scenes BEGIN!**

**(Ch.1 You Wacked My Brain Out)**

**(Blooper where Riku and Sora are fighting with the wooden swords)**

**(Riku and Sora are doing the whack, whack, dogde thing and Riku says something not in his lines)**

**Riku: I HAD SEX WITH YOUR MOM LAST NIGHT AND IT WAS GOOD ASS WIPE!**

**(from rage Sora hits Riku in the crouch with the wooden sword)**

**Riku: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (falls over in pain crying)**

**Sora: You are the weakest dick...GOOD BYE!**

**(Ch.4 Topeeka)**

**(Deleted Scene where Leon walks out of room and Sora says the Topeeka thing to Aeris)**

**Aeris: It seems he still isn't cured from the Bloo thing.**

**Goofy: Hmmm...What do you think will?**

**Aeris: Hmmm...I don't think I may be able to help him with that.**

**Riku: He has also acted, sort of GAY.**

**Aeris: Oh I know how to cure that.**

**Riku: How?**

**(Aeris flashes Sora)**

**Riku: (drools)**

**Sora:...MELONS!**

**Donald: It's working!**

**Sora: But bananas are better!**

**(Ch.5 Peeping Sora)**

**(Blooper where Sora is behind Leon in the shower)**

**(Leon turns around and wacks Sora in the face with...You know)**

**Sora surprised: AH! (slips and rams head into Leon's crouch)**

**(Leon falls on top of Sora and Sora's head goes under the water)**

**(position looks like Sora is getting analy raped by Leon)**

**(Riku walks in, thinking Sora did the line right)**

**(see's sillowete behind shower)**

**(pulls it open)**

**(sees anal position)**

**Riku:...(covers buldge in pants)**

**(Ch.11 Kairi Is Mean)**

**(Blooper where the first scene of the Underwear Monster appears)**

**Cloud: I am the underwear monster! I WILL TAKE OFF YOUR UNDERWEAR WITH MY PENIS!**

**Sora:...Uuuh...Does your penis have teeth?**

**Cloud:...No.**

**Sora: Then stick to the script.**

**Cloud: What?**

**Aeris: You said penis, not teeth.**

**Cloud:...**

**(Ch.12 Sora v.s. Riku)**

**(Deleted Scene where Yuffie falls to the ground by the horrible smell)**

**Yuffie: OH GOD!**

**(falls over and lands on skateboard)**

**(skateboard rolls and rolls toward stairs)**

**(Yuffie and skateboard tumble down stairs)**

**(stairs leads to creamater machine)**

**(Yuffie and skateboard fall in)**

**Riku: NOOOOO!**

**Sora: YUFFIE IS DEAD!**

**Riku: NO! THAT WAS MY FAVORITE SKATEBOARD!**

**(Yuffie crawls out)**

**Yuffie tiredly: I'M OKAY!**

**(Riku walks up to her with a shovel and starts hitting her while shes down)**

**Riku: YOU BITCH! (bang) THAT! (bang) WAS! (bang) MY! (bang) SKATEBOARD! (bang) YOU! (bang) ASS! (BANG)**

**(Ch.17 I Can't Believe It's Not Butter)**

**(Deleted Scene where the creepy goat man is sweet talking Sora)**

**Goat Man: You know what?**

**Sora: What?**

**Goat Man: Lets leave this dump and go get a room.**

**Sora:...Why?**

**Goat Man: You know, get our "FREAK" on.**

**Sora: Your already a freak.**

**Goat Man:...Well so are you.**

**Sora: Na uh.**

**Goat Man: Yuh huh.**

**Sora: Na uh.**

**Goat Man: Yuh huh.**

**Sora: Na uh.**

**Goat Man: Yuh huh.**

**Sora: Na UH!**

**Goat Man: Na uh.**

**Sora: Yuh huh.**

**Goat Man: YEAH! YOU SAID IT! YOU SAID IT!**

**Sora: I did?**

**Goat Man: Yeah.**

**Sora: Damn it!**

**Goat Man: Wanna make out?**

**Sora: Okay!...WAIT! **

**Goat Man:...**

**Sora: I have to use the restroom!**

**(Ch.18 Another Potion Down The Drain)**

**(Blooper where Riku put the dollar in the candy machine and nothing happens)**

**(chandelier falls and Riku steps out of the way)**

**Riku: HA! HA! YOU MISSED!**

**(Sora throws rock at Riku)**

**Riku: OW!**

**Sora: It was SUPPOSE TO FALL ON YOU! Idiot!**

**Riku:...Wouldn't that hurt?**

**(ceiling fan falls Riku)**

**(Riku is shreaded into pieces)**

**Sora:...I GET HIS ROOM!**

**(Ch.15 A SPECIAL Chapter)**

**(Blooper where Sora is admiting his feelings to Kairi)**

**Sora: Kairi! I love you!**

**(fart is heard in background)**

**Sora angry: OKAY! WHERE'S RIKU?**

**Kairi:...(raises hand) That was me.**

**(Ch.28 The Circle Of Light)**

**(Blooper where BlueEyedFun is telling the chain of Dorothy falling into the water)**

**The eagle is then turned into poop and Andromada continues to get smaller...**

**AndromedaGalaxy: THATS IT! (gets out metal baseball bat)**

**(chases BlueEyedFun)**

**BlueEyedFun: EEEEK! (trips)**

**(CENSORED...CENSORED...CENSORED...CENSORED)**

**(Show a bloody BlueEyedFun)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Are you okay?**

**BlueEyedFun: Ooooh...What happened?**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Well when you tripped you landed on a sharp pointy rock, then scared a rattle snake, which bit you, 10 times, which alerted a bear who wrestled with you for 20 minutes, the a hyena came and knawed on you, then Sora constantly kicked you, got tired, and fell asleep, while leaving you to rot, and that is the circle of REVENGE! YEAH BABY!**

**Me:...You didn't even hurt me.**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...Shut up.**

**(Ch.8 Battle Stations)**

**(Deleted Scene where Sora is being attacked by the Kids Next Door)**

**(Numbah One actually sword fights with Sora's worm)**

**Numbah One: You will not destroy us!**

**Sora: Where am I? (doesn't even know his winky is fighting back)**

**(Winky roars)**

**(has mouth and eyes)**

**(wraps around Numbah One)**

**(squeezes him)**

**Numbah One: ER!**

**Sora: Hey, you don't look so good.**

**Numbah Two: I'll save ya buddy! (jumps on top of Sora)**

**(Worm lets go of Numbah One and slaps Numbah Two into a brick wall)**

**Sora: Wow!**

**Numbah One: KINDS NEXT DOOR! SECRET WEAPON!**

**(gets giant condom)**

**Numbah One: THIS SHALL TRAP THE EVIL WORM!**

**Sora: I'm sorry, I'm not into that.**

**(all tackle Sora to the ground)**

**(Giant worm knocks them all off)**

**Numbah One: IT'S TOO POWERFUL!**

**(Worm roars, growls, and snarls)**

**Sora: Gasp! I didn't know it could do THAT! I'm so proud!**

**(all run away)**

**(SCENES OVER)**

**Me: See! Wasn't that funny!**

**Sora: We had deleted scenes? I didn't know that.**

**Riku:...Yeah, I didn't even know we had bloopers.**

**Me: Well you all were high and drunk at the time.**

**Riku: Then why did you still remember?**

**Me: I had it on TAPE, duh!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: There was a video camera?**

**Me:...I don't know.**

**Riku?**

**Sora: I LIKE PIE!**

**Me: Well, hoped you enjoyed!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: How come you didn't do a REAL chapter?**

**Me: Because I was bored and couldn't think of anything, except this.**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...Oh.**

**Me: Now I don't know how to end this chapter!**

**Sora: PIE!**

**Riku: Well, you need to think of something.**

**Sora: IS!**

**Me: Like what?**

**Sora: GOOD!**

**Me: SORA WILL YOU SHUT UP? I'M TRYING TO THINK OF HOW TO END THIS.**

**Sora:...Pie is good.**

**Riku: Okay we know you like pie.**

**Sora:...Very good.**

**Riku:...Did you hear what I just said?**

**Me:...Must...THINK!**

**Sora: I MADE LOVE TO A PIE ONCE!**

**All:...(crickets die of silence)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: I think this chapter just ended.**


	37. Ch37 Silly Rabid Rabbit

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.37 Silly Rabid Rabbit**

**Me: Hi! I'm at Andromada's house right now. I brought my lap top and it's 9:33 a.m. right now. We woke up from our sleep over.**

**Sora suspiciously: And what were you guys doing last night?**

**Me and AndromedaGalaxy: EW!**

**Me: You make it sound WRONG!**

**Riku: Cause two girls sleeping together is wrong.**

**Me: THERE WAS BUNK BEDS! (breathes heavy from anger)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: YEAH! Nothing was going on!**

**Me: She forced me to watch some anime stuff on some website.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: And I'm still watching on my computer, and I have no idea your writing a chapter.**

**Me: I would watch more with her, but I got tired of reading the subtitles.**

**Riku: Ick...Subtitles.**

**Sora: Don't you wish that SpongeBob had Japanese subtitles though, Riku?**

**Riku: Yeah, but were American in this story.**

**Sora: And in the American Kingdom Hearts.**

**Me:...Why are we talking about subtitles?**

**Riku: Cause you brought it up.**

**Me:...Na uh.**

**Riku: Ya huh.**

**Me: Na uh.**

**Riku Ya-NO DON'T EVEN START THAT!**

**Me: Start what?**

**Sora: START THE STORY!**

**Me: I'M CONFUSED!**

**RIKU: WHY IS MY NAME IN ALL CAPITALS!**

**ME: OOPS! I FORGOT TO GET THE CAPLOCK OFF!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: QUIT YELLING!**

**Me: OKAY!**

**Sora: START THE DAMN STORY!**

**Me: FINE!**

**Riku: HEY, MY NAME IS NORMAL AGAIN! THANK YOU!**

**Me: YOUR WELCOME!**

**Sora: THAT'S IT! (pulls out machine gun)**

**Riku: NO MORE ALL CAPITAL SENTENCES!**

**Sora: I'LL KILL YOU ALL TO HELL, IF YOU DON'T START THE STORY!**

**Me:...Well you didn't have to yell.**

**Sora:...AAAAAAAAAAAH! (shoots self in anger)**

**"I'm hungry." Sora says rubbing his belly. It seems like they all forgot about the monster.**

**"Lets have CEREAL!" Shouts Donald happily.**

**All then go into the kitchen...What is the point of this? Sora opens the cabinet and gets out some TRIXS. Torturing Rabbits In Xtreme Stats...Stupid TRIXS. So mean to poor rabbits...Sorry, CONTINUE! Sora then pulls out some bowls and they all poor some evil TRIXS into there. Sora then runs to the fridge. He grabs a giant carton of milk.**

**"I GOT MILK!" He shouts happily and runs over wierdly to the table. **

**They all finally finish making the evil delight and then sat down to swallow it. While they were busy eating Sora looks at the box. The box reads "Silly Rabbit, TRIXS are for Happy Go-Lucky Forced Anime Characters!" He then looks at the back. You have to go through a maze of oranges, retrieve the golden rasberry staff, defeat the evil Malificent, rescue the Cherry Princess, bang the Cherry Princess, return her back to the Crystal Light Castle, demolish the castle, pay the rent, take out the dog, fetch the newspaper, take out the trash (Kairi), sniff the magic powder, drink the magic buzz, AT THE SAME TIME, defeat Barney, then eat his left overs, destroy the squirrel in the tree over there, destroy the tree, make a wooden chair from it, then sit on it, then die...What a despressing game to put on the back of a children's cereal.**

**"Does anyone have a pen?" Sora asks. He was actually going to play it.**

**"No." They answer back quickly, knowing that Sora takes forever at the games on cerial boxes. **

**Soon they all clean up.**

**"What do we do now?" Goofy asks.**

**"Should we go find the monster?" Aeris asks after him. About time.**

**"Yeah, lets go!" Yuffie shouts and they all run towards the hall. They hear Cloud's screams nearby. **

**"Over there!" Yuffie points to a dark dungeon. **

**"WHERES THE TRIXS?" They hear a deep, mad, booming voice.**

**"I-I-I DON'T KNOW! NOW GIVE ME BACK MISTER SNUFFUMS!" That was Cloud.**

**Goofy got out his flash light and pointed it at the darkness where the voices were coming from. It revealed a giant white rabbit holding Cloud in the air by the neck. Mickey was holding Mister Snuffums, for he knew he was too high to help fight.**

**"Where is the LOVE?" Aeris shouts in song.**

**"NOOOOO! PLEASE DON'T SING!" Cloud begs for mercey.**

**A song track is then played.**

**"KAREOKE!" Yuffie shouts.**

**"Lets bring this rabbit DOWN!" Sora shouts.**

**The song "Cant Touch This" comes on while Sora battles the rabbit with the key blade. Both doing horrible dance moves time to time.**

**"IT BURNS! STOP! YOUR EMBARRASSING ME! YOUR DANCE MOVES ARE CURSED! STOP! YOU ALL SHOULD BE STONED!" Cloud screams at the top of his lungs and foams at the mouth, while covering his ears.**

**A chandelier then falls on Cloud's head. Familiar?**

**"OMG!" Aeris shouts.**

**"They killed Kenny!" Donald shouts too.**

**"THOSE BASTARDS!" Yuffie yells.**

**"Wait...Who the fuck is Kenny?" Donald asks.**

**"I don't know...Hey, what is Cloud doing under the chandelier?" Yuffie looks confused.**

**"He's sleeping."**

**"OMG!" Donald screams.**

**"WHAT?"**

**"I said FUCK! OMG! I SAID IT AGAIN!"**

**"...So."**

**"I WORK FOR DISNEY!"**

**"...So."**

**"AAAAAAAAAAARGH!" A chandelier then falls on Donald's head...Tee hee...I should get paid for this.**

**The rabbit finally dies...The END.**

**Star War's theme song comes on.**

**CREDITS**

**No, just kidding, it's not over...YET.**

**The rabbit runs off into the shadows and is eaten by a giant spider...Now it's the end.**

**"Wow we really need to get some pest control around here." Goofy mentions.**

**"You said it, Riku is starting to get annoying." Sora says, crossing his arms.**

**"..."**

**Cloud gets out from under the chandelier and runs up to Mister Snuffums.**

**"I LOVE YOU!" He calls then squeezes the pink teddy bear.**

**Donald gets out from under the chandelier and runs up to Mickey.**

**"I LOVE YOU!" He calls then squeezes the high on weed mouse.**

**The door bell then rings.**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Riku: Hey, where am I in this chapter?**

**Leon: Yeah and me too.**

**Me: Leon, it's not safe to be here.**

**Leon: Why? (looks over shoulder and sees AndromedaGalaxy drooling behind him, staring at him, menacingly.)**

**Me: RUN LEON! RUN!**

**Riku: Go in that room over there! (points to a door)**

**(Leon runs over there and goes inside)**

**(AndromedaGalaxy then goes in there too)**

**AndromedaGalaxy heard from room: What are you doing in my bedroom?**

**Leon:...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!**

**(the Liberty Bell crumbles to pieces)**

**Me: Stupid Leon...Break our Liberty...Uh...BELL!...God, I'm so slow.**

**Sora: We don't have that in Japan.**

**Riku: Only Godzilla.**

**Sora: Who is Riku's mom.**

**Riku: SHUT UP! (runs off crying)**

**Me:...Did you know Andromada's toilet is HAUNTED?**

**Sora:...**

**Riku:...**

**AndromedaGalaxy: I can't believe your putting this in your story.**

**Me: GASP! Where did you come from? Oh well, it's true though. I just finished and I flushed, and it got clogged, and it almost overflowed, and I called Andromada to see for herself. I flushed it and it almost poured water all over us, I was holding the toilet seat down for dear life. I thought her toilet was going to EAT us!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: It's a true story, but she may have exaggerated a little.**

**Me: I think I'm afraid of toilets now...**

**Riku: Thats nice.**


	38. Ch38 Never Say Bomb Around A President

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.38 Never Say Bomb Around A President**

**Me: Hi! I'm home now. It's 10:03 p.m. and I'm sleepy. I'm also watching Comedy Central with an old 90's movie on while I'm typing this. It has Eddy Murphy in it and it's called "Changing Places."**

**Sora: Who's Eddy Murphy? And why does his name sound so funny.**

**Me: GASP! Oh thats right, your an anime character, you aren't suppose to know him...His name does sound kind of wierd if you think of it.**

**Leon: Hi people.**

**Me: LEON RUN!**

**Leon: Don't worry, AndromedaGalaxy won't hurt me.**

**(shows scene of AndromedaGalaxy in a different room with a life sized doll of Leon)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Squall you don't seem to be acting like yourself.**

**Leon Doll:...**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Oh yeah! Thats right! I forgot! (pulls string in his back)**

**Leon Doll: DONT HURT ME! I LOVE YOU!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: OH SQUALLIE POO! You such a charmer! (squeezes the doll)**

**(back to scene with the others)**

**Me:...That was uterly disturbing.**

**Sora: My pants feel wet...**

**Riku: You just peed in your pants retard.**

**Sora: Na uh! (looks in pants) I just started my period, thats all.**

**All:...**

**Me: But Sora...Your a guy.**

**Sora: I am?**

**Riku: OMG, hes an idiot! (slaps forehead)**

**Sora: Oh yeah, thats right!**

**Me: The guy part or the idiot part?**

**Sora:...I can't remember.**

**Riku: SOMEONE SHOOT ME!**

**Me: Riku, your being over dramatic. You have to be more patient with special people. It took my friends 3 years to train and handle me. They had to play with me, take me on walks, not feed me after midnight, not to get me in water, and keep me away from bright lights.**

**Riku: (backs away) Can we start the story now?**

**Sora runs up to the door. Which took him 20 minutes to get to. That castle is just so hard to get around in. He opens the door and two men in black appear, standing there threatingly.**

**"Are you Sora?" One of them asks.**

**"I think so, hang on, let me check." Sora looks at the name tag on his shirt.**

**"No, my name is Aros."**

**"Your name tag says Sora."**

**"No, it says Aros."**

**"Sora."**

**"Aros."**

**"Sora."**

**"Aros."**

**"Sora."**

**"RIKU!" Riku pops into the picture. **

**Aeris tugs on his leash.**

**"RIKU, COME ON!" **

**"Sora, is it true you threatened the president with a bomb?" The other man in black asks.**

**"No...I have one in my head...OMG! I HAVE ONE IN MY HEAD! SHOULDN'T I BE DEAD?"**

**"Hey that rymes!" Donald shouts out happily.**

**"Uh...Sora about that...We lied." Goofy says quietly.**

**"So there is no bomb?"**

**"No."**

**"Heh heh...I HATE YOU! YOU GUYS SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME!" Sora's eye begins to twitch.**

**"Sora, please come with us." One of the men in black say.**

**"NEVER!" Sora runs off. He never did see the wall in front of him.**

**Sora falls on his back and the men in black carry him away. I always thought the men in white would get to him first...Oh well!**

**"Yay! We finally got rid of Sora!" Yuffie shouts.**

**"Yeah, he was crampin my style, isn't that right Mister Snuffums?" Cloud says holding that teddy bear.**

**"Guys we are going to have to get Sora back." Aeris said while tapping her foot and holding on to Riku's leash.**

**"Why?" Half of them ask.**

**"Because he is a main character."**

**"Ooooh."**

**Riku tries to get away.**

**"RIKU SIT!" Aeris shouts at him strictly.**

**Riku sits down and whimpers.**

**"GOOD BOY! Wanna treat?"**

**Riku's ears perked up. I don't know how, but they did. Riku nods his head.**

**"BACON!" He shouts with his tongue in the air, doing things it has never done before...Don't smoke weed kids.**

**Aeris gets out a Beggin Strip and gives it to Riku. Riku swallows it in just seconds.**

**"Dogs can't believe it's not bacon." She says with a proud like smile on her face.**

**"But Riku is a human...Isn't he?" Yuffie mentions, confused.**

**"Silly Yuffie! All men are dogs!" **

**"Oh."**

**Leon jumps into the scene happily.**

**"I'm a kitty!" He says in a cheerful voice.**

**"Well, guys we now need to get Sora back." Donald follows right after Leon.**

**"We need to break in, lets devise a plan." Aeris says with a smirk.**

**They all make a huddle.**

**"LETS PLAY BALL!" Aeris shouts.**

**"Ball? I thought this was going to be a break in. Damn it!" Leon sulks.**

**"It is."**

**"...Oh!"**

**"Well, thanks for ruining the mood Leon." Yuffie glares at him playfully.**

**"Your welcome!" **

**They all then run out the door.**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Leon: Why did you make me so stupid?**

**Me: Cause its funny...HA HA HA HA! (stops automatically and backs away menacingly)**

**Riku: Is she okay? Again?**

**Sora: Maybe it's because she had a whole lot of Sweet Tarts.**

**Riku: Huh?**

**Sora: Maybe it's because she had a whole lot of Sweet Tarts. (holds up a pill bottle)**

**Riku: Gimme that!**

**(Sora passes the bottle to Riku)**

**(Riku reads it)**

**Riku: Did you offer this to her?**

**Sora: Yeah.**

**(Riku punches Sora in the stomach)**

**Riku: ITS AN ILLEGAL DRUG YOU IDIOT!**

**Sora: OW! Really? What kind?**

**Me: I'm hungry. (looks at clock) It's 1:00 already? (not really)**

**Sora: Here, have my sandwhich! (gives it to her)**

**Riku: NO! DON'T FEED HER AFTER MIDNIGHT!**

**Me: (takes bite of sandwhich) Mmmmmm!**

**Riku: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!**

**Sora: She said she was hungry.**

**Me: I feel funny...SUGAR! (bounces off the walls)**

**Riku: NOOOOOOOOOOO! NOW SHE'LL NEVER SHUT UP!**

**Sora: Wasn't she already like that?**

**Riku: Oh yeah...She was...NOW IT'S WORSE!**

**BlueEyedFun's gang of friends: OH NO! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE! NOW SHE'LL NEVER SHUT UP!**

**Riku: Thats what I said.**

**One Friend: Hey, your that boy she likes! (points to Riku)**

**Riku:...(blush) Yes I know...WE'LL YOU ALL GO AWAY! YOU DON'T BELONG HERE!**

**Me: HI! HI! HI! HI! HI! HI! HI! HI! HI! HI! HI! HI! HI! HI! HI! HI! HI! HI!**

**Sora: MAKE HER STOP! (falls to ground)**

**Me:...HI!**

**(Friends wave akwardly)**

**Me: I LOVE YOU!**

**(silence)**

**(Friends leave from fear)**

**Me: (looks over at Riku) HI!**

**Riku: SHUT UP!**

**Me: YOUR PRETTY!**

**Riku:...(leaves)**

**Sora: (lays on ground and twitches) Her constant talking...IT BURNS!**


	39. Ch39 Beware Of The Squirrels

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.39 Beware Of The Squirrels**

**Me: Before I start the story, I would like to discuss something that is SO FUNNY with my friend Andromada. About something she says.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Yeah, we talked about this on the phone.**

**Sora: Is it BAD?**

**Me: Kind of...Tee hee. Okay, whenever Andromada is in the bathroom I usually knock. And everytime I do, I hear a voice that says "Don't come in, I'm bleeding." **

**AndromedaGalaxy: ROFL.**

**Me: And I'm like OMG! OMG! Is she dying in there?**

**Riku:...(shocked) I think I know what were discussing.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: ROFL!**

**Me: She even said that when her little brother was outside the bathroom with me. It gets me everytime. Her little brother is so confused. ROFL.**

**Sora:...Oh god...This is gross.**

**Me: It's funny how this kind of thing scares guys.**

**Riku: My imagination is my worst enemy right now...MAKE IT STOP! I HAVE NO CHOICE! SORA WHERE DID YOU PUT YOUR GUN?**

**Sora:...Theres a gun? Coooooooooooooooooooool...**

**Riku:...**

**Me:...SQUIRRELS!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Jam stop! Don't start that!**

**Sora: Whats wrong about squirrels?**

**AndromedaGalaxy: It's this gross thing she says about them.**

**Me: About how the squirrles will plummit head first inside of you...**

**Riku:...OH GOD! I'm gonna be sick! (runs covering mouth out of the room)**

**Sora: Are you talking about a guy's thing?**

**Me: No, I'm talking about actual squirrels inside of you. **

**Sora:...**

**AndromedaGalaxy: ROFL!**

**Me: (eye twitches) SQUIRRELS!**

**They all ran outside and saw the black car drive away.**

**"Now we'll never get him." Yuffie pouts.**

**"I have an idea." Aeris says with an imaginary light bulb on top of her head. Riku stares at it. Wait, isn't it imaginary?**

**"Okay Aeris tell us what the idea is." Leon says.**

**Later on...**

**"This is STUPID!" Donald shouts.**

**"And embarrassing, right Mister Snuffums?" You know who that is.**

**"I can't believe you talked us into this." Yuffie sulks.**

**"Oh come on guys, it's not THAT bad." Aeris says.**

**Aeris is in a little red wagon with the others with rope tied on to them and the wagon, pulling it across the highway. Snails wave as they pass them. They all finally get to a black building. **

**"This must be it." Leon says over the huffs and puffs of the others. It turns out Aeris actually ways 342 pounds, she just doesn't look like it. The wagon was 50 pounds, so you do the math...I stink at math...I HATE YOU MATH!**

**Math isn't a person!**

**I know...Hey, who are you?**

**Your consience.**

**Na uh.**

**Ya huh.**

**Na uh.**

**Ya h-STOP! THATS ANNOYING!**

**Theres a squirrel behind you.**

**OMG! Where? Their so CUTE!...Hey I feel wierd.**

**BEWARE OF THE SQUIRRELS! **

**They then all run into the building. **

**"So what was the plan again?" Cloud asks.**

**"I can't remember." Aeris says in fear.**

**"OH NO! WHAT DO WE DO NOW?"**

**"Wanna go home?'**

**"Okay."**

**"NO WAIT! WE HAVE TO GET SORA!" Yuffie shouts.**

**"Who's Sora?" Goofy asks.**

**"You know, the happy kid."**

**"Oh yeah! That fag...I remember him now!"**

**Fag is such a harsh word...I hate that word.**

**MY BUTT HURTS!**

**WHO ARE YOU?**

**JIMINY CRICKET!**

**But the squirrel would be too small...I'M CONFUSED!**

**I AM A PIRATE!**

**I thought you were a cricket.**

**AAAAR!**

**Oh great...Another crack pot. I am so loosing that title now.**

**Shows scene with Sora with the men in black.**

**"We need you to strip down to nothing." One of the men say.**

**"YOU PEDIFILES!" Sora shouts.**

**"I'M RUNNING AWAY!" Sora turns around to run and forgets about the wall behind him...AGAIN!**

**He falls on his back and gets up.**

**"I'M OKAY!" He shouts woozily.**

**They finally get him to strip his clothes for a search. They find weed in his back pocket.**

**"Well, well...What do we have here?" One of them says.**

**"ITS NOT MINE!" Sora shouts.**

**"ITS MICKEY MOUSE'S!" Do your realize how stupid that sounds?**

**"Yeah, yeah...Lock him up for now." The man goes to put handcuffs on him.**

**"SQUEAK, EEEK, SQUEEEEEEEEEAK!" Sora yelps in Squirrel language.**

**"What did he say?" One of them asks.**

**Squirrels from everywhere break through the windows and doors and up the men in black's butthole...It wasn't a pretty site. TRUST ME.**

**"OH THE PAIN!" They shout and fall to the ground.**

**The others bust in.**

**"WERE HERE TO SAVE YOU!" They shout. They see the site.**

**They see two men curled up into balls on the ground, not moving, dead squirrels everywhere, and Sora standing in the middle of it, naked.**

**"I swear Sora, we need to get you neutered." Aeris says.**

**"It wasn't me! It was the squirrels!" Sora shouts innocently.**

**"Sora you have the most RABID winky in the world...IT HAD TO BE YOU!" Yuffie says.**

**Sora just sighs and puts on his clothes. Riku runs up to a squirrel. He puts it in his pants and smiles.**

**"Riku get that out of there!" Aeris shouts at him, while tugging on the leash.**

**Riku growls.**

**"I really need to find a potion for you. Who knows how many diseases you have gotten into because of this."**

**"It burns when I pee!"**

**"...Great, now I'll have to find a potion for THAT too!" **

**Riku puts another dead squirrel in his pants and smiles.**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Riku: Thats just wrong. So WRONG.**

**Me: Tee hee, squirrels are funny...Especialy in Riku's pants.**

**Riku: SHUT UP!**

**Sora: SQUIRREL LOVER!**

**Me: Hey do you hear that?**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Hear what?**

**(all hear wooky noises coming from the closet.)**

**(BlueEyedFun opens the closet)**

**Riku: Are you retarded?**

**Me: Yes.**

**(all see giant, hairy mess)**

**Me: ANDROMADA! YOUR DAD FORGOT TO SHAVE AGAIN!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Thats not my dad! Thats my sister!**

**Me:...You have a sister?**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Yeah, we keep her in the closet when guest come over.**

**(sister growls)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: You can see why.**

**Riku:...This story is so messed up.**


	40. Ch40 Dissapearing In Riku's Wind

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.40 Dissapearing In Riku's Wind**

**Me: Hello! (is cheery)**

**Sora: Why are you happy?**

**Me: Cause this is going to be a FUN CHAPTER!**

**Riku:...Yay?**

**Me: To write that is, it may be crappy, I don't know...I'm still thinking about what to write after I finish writing this sentence...I mean type, if I wrote this stuff, my hands would fall off and I would sew Andromada.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: WHY ME? And you do know you spelled sew wrong...How do you spell it anyway?**

**Me: I don't know, I'm too lazy to do a spell check, oh and for the readers if you send me a review about how to spell SEW or WHATEVER I will hunt you DOWN and KILL you.**

**Sora: I thought you were happy, now your just moody.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: She probably needs chocolate.**

**Me: No, it's just that some people don't understand that some questions are never ment to be answered. Like why did they name that planet Uranus? If it's not butter than what is it? What do you want me to suck? And shouldn't YOU be inside of Kairi?**

**Sora:...**

**Me: SEE! HE DOESN'T KNOW! **

**Riku: Well, actually I'm inside of Kairi.**

**Sora: SHUT UP! (tries to hit Riku)**

**(Riku dodges)**

**Kairi: (walks in) Whose inside of me?**

**Me: Riku called you a hooker!**

**Riku: GASP! I DID NOT! YOU LIED! (looks over at an angry like Kairi)**

**Me:...(evil smile)**

**Sora: Uh oh...She's gonna turn into the Hulk guys!**

**Kairi: SHUT UP SORA!**

**Sora: YES MAM! (hides under table)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: We have a table? GASP! I didn't know THAT!**

**"Well I guess we all better head home now." Aeris sighs.**

**"We can't just leave the bodies here." Yuffie says after her.**

**"Yes we can."**

**"Why is that?"**

**"Were anime characters."**

**"Okaaay...Right."**

**"We can have our illustrators erase them for us!" **

**Big eraser comes down from the ceiling and erases the dead squirrels and men in black.**

**"NOOOOOOO! SQUIRRELS! GIVE EM BACK!" Riku yells at the sky and rolls in his own tears.**

**"Wait aren't we in a story?" Leon asks.**

**"No! Were in a picture book!" Yuffie answers.**

**"...I'M CONFUSED!" **

**"Lets go home now, wheres the door?" Donald asks.**

**They all look around. Turns out the illustrator erased the door out. CURSE YOU ILLUSTRATOR! **

**Well it's hard to erase when you have a squirrel up your butt!**

**GASP! SO YOUR THE MYSTERIOUS PERSON/CONSIENCE/CRICKET/PIRATE! Could you read that?**

**Yes I am.**

**But who are you, REALLY?**

**That is a question not ment to be answered.**

**Oh guess what!**

**...What?**

**I got lost my girlyness and got punky and funky and different!**

**...What does that have to do with anything?**

**That is a question not ment to be answered.**

**"The ceiling is talking to me AGAIN!" Riku yells.**

**All of you, go through that door!**

**"What door?"**

**The one behind you.**

**"There isn't one."**

**Oh, I forgot! THE ALL POWERFUL AUTHORESS snaps her fingers and a door that reads "Secrets" appears behind them.**

**You'll find your way out through here.**

**"Thank you!" Riku yells back.**

**"Riku, who are you talking to?" Aeris asks him.**

**"The nice lady in the sky."**

**"You mean the authoress?"**

**"Who dat?"**

**"Oh, I forgot, your stupid."**

**They all walk through the door and they enter a lab. Creepy haunted house music is being played...Actually Riku farted.**

**They see lots of tubes and things in those tubes. They see aliens in giant tubes. **

**"Sora, they want you." Yuffie says playfully.**

**"EW! GROSS! Tell them they can't handle this!" Sora shouts and rubs his hands up against his body.**

**"Okay Sora, I didn't need to see that." Yuffie then says, looking away.**

**"WOW LOOK!" Cloud points at a giant test tube, which has a human girl wearing a black, hot pink, striped jump suit, and black fish net glove that go to her elbows. The girl is pale white, has VERY long brown hair with orangish, blonde highlights, and the girl has very long legs and is very skinny. **

**"OMG! WHO IS THAT?" Sora shouts while the others hide.**

**The girl's eyes pop wide open and the glass breaks without her doing anything. She walks on the glass with her black, knee high, boots.**

**"Wow! I have super powers now!" The girl says.**

**"No, the glass just broke from your face." Sora says and follows over laughing.**

**"Do you know who I AM you mortal?" She says in a threatning voice.**

**"Who? Anerixia Belimia?" Sora follows over laughing again.**

**The girl's hands grip into a fist.**

**"Uuuh, Sora...I don't think you should say those things." Cloud says.**

**"Why?"**

**"BECAUSE, I AM THE ALL POWERFUL AUTHORESS." The girl, who is now BlueEyedFun says.**

**"Wow, you look different the last time I saw you, which was in Oz."**

**"Thats because Oz can do things to you."**

**"Oh...So why are you here?"**

**"To show you guys the way out...Personaly."**

**"Oh."**

**"Follow me."**

**She then leads them outside into a dessert.**

**"Okay, why are we here?" Cloud asks.**

**"That is a question not ment to be answered."**

**"WILL YOU STOP THAT!" Aeris shouts like she's in pain.**

**"It's getting HIGHLY annoying!"**

**A buzzard craps on Aeris's head, flying by.**

**"AAAAAAAAAH!" She screams and runs around in circles.**

**"POOPY!" Riku shouts out childishly and stares blankly at the panicy Aeris.**

**"Thats right Riku! Poopy!" THE ALL POWERFUL AUTHORESS says to him as if she were praising him.**

**"Well guys I gotta let you go from here." She continues and dissapears in the wind.**

**"COOOOOOOOOOOL! I WANNA DO DAT TOO!" Riku shouts in amazement. **

**He then pushes as hard as he can.**

**"NO, RIKU! NO!" They shout, knowing what will happen next.**

**Riku then lets some of his own wind pass by and everyone's nose dissapears. Gasp! Magic!**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Me: Just to let you know, the next chapter is going to be REALLY funny and crazy.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: CHOCOLATE!**

**Me: GASP! WHERE? (looks around uncontrollably)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: LOL! I just wanted to torture you!**

**Me: Grrrrrrrrrrr...(talks real fast) Seriously, I don't know whats wrong with me, I just have been craving chocolate and sugar a lot...IT'S MESSED UP!**

**Riku: CHOCOLATE!**

**Me: WHERE! (foams at the mouth and breathes heavy)**

**Riku: (mischivious smile) IN SORA'S PANTS!**

**Sora: Na uh! (turns around and sees BlueEyedFun ready to pounce on him)**

**Me: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: RUN SORA!**

**Riku: Okay I lied, it's not in his pants.**

**Me: (gets off of Sora and pouts) YOU ALL ARE EVIL!**

**Sora: Am I dead?**

**(all laugh evily)**

**Me: (cries)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Are you okay? Were sorry.**

**Me: Sniff... (innocently) Do you have chocolate? **

**AndromedaGalaxy: I'm sorry, no.**

**Me: THEN YOU CAN DIE!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: GASP! MOODY!**

**Me: I'm kidding. Oh and Sora, you ARE dead.**

**Sora: Really?**

**Me: Yes.**

**Sora: REALLY really?**

**Me: Really really.**

**Sora: REALLY REALLY reall-**

**Me: YES! OKAY! REALLY!**

**Sora: I'm not dead...**

**Me:...No Sora you aren't.**

**Sora: Really?**

**Me: Really.**

**Sora: REALLY re-**

**(Riku attacks Sora with a metal baseball bat)**

**Riku: REALLY! (BANG) REALLY! (BANG) REALLY! (BANG)**

**(Sora stops moving)**

**Me: Now he's dead.**

**Sora: (opens his eyes) Really?**


	41. Ch41 Getting High On Hallucinations

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.41 Getting High On Hallucinations**

**Me: I will give up chocolate, I will give up chocolate, I will give up chocolate, I will give up chocolate, I will give-**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Jam just give up.**

**Me: Yeah I know, give up chocolate.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: No, give up on giving up chocolate.**

**Me:...I'M CONFUSED!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Your always confused!**

**Me: Oh, I want my earrings back.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: I know.**

**Me: Then why don't I have them?**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...Uuuuuh...(runs away)**

**Me: GET BACK HERE! Hey, where did Riku and Sora go?**

**(hears noises coming from room)**

**Noise: OH YEAH! OH THATS GOOD! DAMN THATS GOOD! OH GOD! SO GOOD!**

**Me:...(opens door)...(retarded)**

**(sees Riku and Sora munching down on a truck full of candy bars)**

**Me: GASP! WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE?**

**Sora: I won the game on the back of the cerial box!**

**Me: What kind of cerial prize gives you chocolate?**

**Riku: (munch, munch) (mouth full) Apparently a retarded one. (munch)**

**Me:...CHOCOLATE!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (comes back) NO! JAM DON'T!**

**Me: MUST...RESIST!**

**(AndromedaGalaxy holds her down)**

**Me: ARGH! (roars)**

**Sora: Oh god! Thats scary...**

**AndromedaGalaxy: I NEED A MUZZLE!**

**Riku: (munch) Actually she needs one. (points to the rabid BlueEyedFun)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: THATS WHY I NEED ONE! (BlueEyedFun gets out of her grasp)**

**(chocolate is all gone)**

**Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (breathes heavy) OKAY! WHO ATE THE MOST CHOCOLATE?**

**Riku:...Uuuuuuuh...(swallow) Me?**

**Me:...(pulls out knife)**

**Riku: AH! (runs)**

**Me: What?**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...Sharp...Pointy...OBJECT! (hides face)**

**Me: Oh this? I was just going to cut this rope. (rope says do not cut)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Are you blind?**

**Me: (has dark sunglasses on indoors) No, I don't think so.**

**Sora: Hey, are we gonna start the story now?**

**Me: FINE! I'll cut the rope later.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: CANT...HANDLE...MORE...OF...JAM'S...STUPIDITY!**

**"AIR!" Sora screams with the rest of the non toxicated air in his lungs.**

**Soon the fog of green poof dissapeared in the desert air. They could all finally breathe.**

**"Don't do that again Riku." Aeris says shaking her finger.**

**Riku giggles evily.**

**A loud stomach growl is then heard.**

**"AH! THE SQUIRRELS! THEY FOUND US!" Leon shouts in a scared, little voice and hides behind Cloud.**

**"Squirrels don't growl, and besides that was my stomach." Cloud mentions.**

**"Sooo...Where do we go now?" Yuffie asks. **

**They all then look around. The building is gone and their all surrounded by flat land desert. The scene kind of looked like weak tourist fell off the bus in Egypt. **

**"Hey, I see Barney!" Sora points at an empty area.**

**"You can't be hallucinating in just minutes Sora." Aeris says worringly.**

**"Aeris you forgot Sora's brain is weaker than ours." Yuffie mentions.**

**"Oooooooooooooh yeah." Almost all of them say in unison.**

**"OMG! I SEE THEM TOO!" Leon screams staring at the imaginary bunny, dancing right in front of him.**

**"Wow, they sure do have a wild imagination, don't they Mister Snuffums?" Cloud says talking to his teddy bear.**

**"GO TO HELL!" It shouts angerly, but cute.**

**"MISTER SNUFFUMS! YOU AREN'T LIKE THAT!" Cloud shouts back, holding the teddy bear in front of him.**

**"SUCK MY PINK FURRY BALLS!" **

**"MISTER SNUFFUMS!"**

**"Cloud, why are you yelling at Mister Snuffums like that?" Yuffie asks him.**

**"Because he is being BAD! BAD!"**

**"What is he doing?"**

**"He's says bad language!" **

**"Uuuuh...Cloud he didn't say anything."**

**"HEE HEE HEE HA! I'M RICK JAMES, BITCH!" The bear shouts.**

**"DID YOU HEAR HIM?" Cloud shouts pointing like a maniac at the bear.**

**"No."**

**"GOD WHY! WHY MISTER SNUFFUMS!" Cloud screams at the sky.**

**"GOD HATES YOU CLOUD!" The pink teddy bear screams at him.**

**"NO HE DOESN'T! HE LOVES EVERYONE!"**

**"HE HATES YOU!"**

**"IT'S NOT TRUE!" Cloud then throws down the teddy bear and runs off into the desert crying. **

**"Cloud, where are you going? COME BACK! You'll get lost!" Aeris shouts out to him. He ignores her and continues to run.**

**"Barney is cool!" Sora says as he dances with Barney.**

**Leon grits his teeth and stares at the dancing bunny.**

**"I...Hate...BUNNIES." He says through his teeth and kicks the bunny down to the ground. The bunny stops moving.**

**"Are we the only people, not hallucinating?" Yuffie asks, looking toward Aeris.**

**"OH FABIO!" Aeris screams out romatically, drops Riku's leash, and grabs on to Yuffie.**

**"AAAH! I'M NOT FABIO! GET OFF ME!" Yuffie cries out, pushing Aeris off of her.**

**"It's okay baby! It will work!" Aeris says and chases after Yuffie.**

**"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Yuffie screams.**

**"Peanuts!" Riku shouts out in a cheery way and starts to run in circles.**

**Donald and Goofy just stand there, staring at the whole mess.**

**"Should we snap em out of it?" Goofy asks.**

**"Naaaaaaaah, lets go home and finish smoking weed." Donald answers.**

**"Okay." They then walk out the opening with the big, neon sign that reads "EXIT" on it, leaving the others to fend for themselves in the heat of the desert sun. Long sentence.**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Me: (cuts rope) WEEEEEE!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: NO! IT SAID DO NOT CUT!**

**Me: Why? Nothing happened.**

**(Riku is dead)**

**Me: Hey...It reads...Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikuuuuuuuu...Iiiiiiis...Dead.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: How can you not read that, when you were the one that typed that?**

**Me: I want my earrings back.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: I KNOW!**

**Me: So what did that rope do?**

**AndromedaGalaxy: That ROPE was Riku's LIFE LINE!**

**Me:...So hes dead?**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Yeah.**

**Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

**(everything breaks, even Sora's nose)**

**Sora: AAAAH! HORRIBLE NOSE BLEED! (grabs nose)**

**Me: I have to get Riku back to life! (does little dance)**

**(Riku comes back to life)**

**Riku gratefully: I'm alive! YOU SAVED ME! **

**AndromedaGalaxy: She was the one that KILLED YOU!**

**Riku: So what dance did you do?**

**Me: The chicken dance.**

**Riku back to old self:...You just ruined the mood.**

**Me: I did? Sorry!**

**AndromedaGalxy: (throws hands in the air) IDIOTS! IDIOTS!**

**Riku: (sees Sora grabbing his bleeding nose) Man, Sora...What did you sniff?**

**(Sora just glares at him, still holding his nose)**


	42. Ch42 Screw Ups 2

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.42 Screw Ups 2**

**Me: YAY! More bloopers and deleted scenes!**

**Sora: NO!**

**Riku: Why can't we just have a normal authoress who doesn't put herself in the story and STICKS to the story!**

**Me:...Because...I'M THE AUTHORESS!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Duh!**

**Me: I found these bloopers and deleted scenes in the trash can. (glares at Sora and Riku)**

**Sora innocently: It wasn't me.**

**Riku: Or me.**

**Me: Oh, well! I have them, so thats all that counts! **

**(Ch.10 The Dark Figure Out The Window)**

**(Blooper where Sora hears his friend's thoughts about the dark figure)**

**Riku: OKAY! I ADMIT! IT WAS ME!**

**(pause)**

**(cough)**

**Aeris: RIKU! You weren't suppose to admit it!**

**Riku: Oh, I wasn't?**

**(everyone nods)**

**Riku: Heh, heh...I guess this may not be a good time to admit that I scratched my bare crotch with Sora's tooth brush either.**

**Sora: YOU DID! AAAAAAAAARGH! (jumps on Riku with key blade)**

**Riku: AAAAAAARGH! (tries to hold Sora off him) You know you enjoyed the taste Sora!**

**(Ch.27 Ruby Slippers Come With Habic)**

**(Deleted Scene where the witch wants her sister's slippers back)**

**Witch: Now, GIVE THEM BACK!**

**Sora: NEVER! (pulls out key blade)**

**Billy Bob: What is that doo-hickey?**

**Sora: It's a key blade.**

**Billy Bob: Kind of looks like a dildo to me.**

**Sora: IT'S NOT A DILDO!**

**Billy Bob: I knew it! I knew you were gay! **

**Sora: NO!**

**(catchy song comes on)**

**Billy Bob singing: If you were gay! I'd be okay! I'd love you anyways! IF YOU WERE GAY!**

**Mary: That'll be okay!**

**Yuffie and Killer: We'd love you anyways!**

**(whole cast appear)**

**Everyone singing: If you were gay!**

**Sora: Which I'm not!**

**Everyone singing: That'll be okay!**

**Sora: No it wouldn't! You'd treat me like shit!**

**Everyone singing: We'd love you ANYWAYS!**

**Sora: I'M NOT!**

**Everyone singing: Just stop hiding it!**

**Sora: I'M NOT!**

**Everyone singing: You aren't straight! Cuz your not any bit!**

**Sora: STOP IT! (falls to ground covering ears)**

**Everyone singing: If you were GAY!**

**Sora: LA! LA! LA! LA!**

**Everyone singing: We'd be OKAY!**

**Sora: LAAAAAAAA!**

**Everyone: IF! YOU! WERE! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!**

**Sora: I HATE YOU! (runs away crying leaving his purse behind)**

**(Ch.32 One Free Hand)**

**(blooper where Sora gets called on his cellphone by the chipmunk)**

**Sora: Hello?**

**Voice: Knock, knock?**

**Sora: Who's there?**

**Voice: Lemmy Sookon.**

**Sora: Lemmy Sookon who?**

**Voice: Me.**

**Sora: Thats gross man! (starts to laugh)**

**Voice:...I mean it.**

**(Ch.33 Best Day Ever)**

**(Deleted Scene where Sora and Cloud go in Riku's room)**

**Cloud: Hey, lets check his closet.**

**Sora: Okay.**

**(opens door)**

**(reveals Sephiroth in a thong)**

**Sephiroth: Oooh! Baby! Is that you? I've been waiting so long!**

**Cloud:...(closes door) We didn't see that.**

**(Ch.34 Best Day Ever)**

**(Another Deleted scene right after Sora and Cloud close the closet)**

**(hand comes from underneith the bed)**

**(motions them towards it)**

**Light Voice from bed: Come here little boys...Do you like candy?**

**Cloud: I do, but it does horrible things to my molars.**

**Sora: I want some!**

**Light Voice from bed: Well, come here and let me let you taste some.**

**(Cloud stops Sora from going)**

**Cloud: WAIT! How do we know that your not some sick, twisted, pedifile?**

**Light Voice from bed: Because, I love the children too much to do that.**

**Cloud: COME OUT MICHEAL JACKSON, WE KNOW IT'S YOU!**

**Light Voice from bed: Micheal Jackson? (head pops up from under bed)**

**(Is Demyx)**

**Sora: Oh, it's just the loser who is fascinated with water.**

**Demyx: I am NOT a loser!...(in funny voice) I like water. **

**(Axel pops up from the fluffy covers of the bed)**

**Axel: (is only wearing a strawberry) Wow, some party it was last night, huh, boys?**

**Sora:...OMG!**

**Cloud: WHAT HAS RIKU BEEN DOING!**

**Axel: Hey, we have company.**

**Sora: (points out the door) Hey look! A TWINKY!**

**(all these men hiding in furniture run out the door)**

**Cloud:...I don't want to know.**

**(Ch.35 Monster Fishing)**

**(Blooper where Cloud's hair catches on fire)**

**Cloud: AAAAAAAAAH! (runs around in circles)**

**(Smokey Bear appears)**

**Smokey Bear: When you play with fire, you not only hurt yourself, but the things and people around you, so the next time you leave your campfire going, you- **

**(Cloud gets too close to Smokey and Smokey the Bear catches on fire)**

**Smokey Bear: OH GOD! AAAAAAAAH! YOU JACK ASS! AAAAAAAAAH! I'M NOT FLAME PROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOF! (turns into ash)**

**Sora: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (runs toward ash) I dropped my pencil! (picks up pencil near ash) There, thats better.**

**Aeris: Hey this wasn't in the script!**

**Cloud: (still running in circles) YOU CAN PUT ME OUT NOW!**

**(Ch.37 Silly Rabid Rabbit)**

**(Blooper where Sora runs to the table with milk)**

**Sora in wierd, funny voice: I GOT MILK! (runs over and slips)**

**(milk jug flys in the air)**

**(lands on Leon's head)**

**(Leon dies)**

**(AndromedaGalaxy pops up)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: NOOOOOOOOOOO!...Sniff. (hauls his lifeless body away to do who knows what)**

**Sora: (gets up) Ow...Stupid floor! (picks up milk and pours it in his bowl)**

**(starts to eat)**

**(looks up and sees everyone shocked)**

**Sora: You guys look funny.**

**Yuffie: Do you even realized what just happened?**

**Sora:...(spits out cerial on everyone) MY TRIXS ARE STALE! WHO DID IT?**

**Invisible Elf: Those aren't TRIXS those are Meow Mix Cat Food! Hee hee hee! (jumps back into Riku's pants)**

**Riku: I feel all tingly inside!**

**(SCENES OVER)**

**Me: Hee! Hee! Funny...**

**Sora:...**

**Riku:...**

**AndromedaGalaxy: HA HA HEE HA HA HEEEEEEEEE HA HA HEE HA AH AH AH HAA!**

**Me: I got the gay song from Andromada, she sings it alot...ALOT!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: I bet when I read this, I'm laughing my head off at that part!**

**Me:...THAT SOUNDS SO WIERD! YOUR HERE AND YOUR THERE! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WIERD!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Your the one typing this stuff, you can make me say anything! I'M REALLY SHORT!**

**Me: And it never gets old. (smile) I'm sorry people, I can't resist.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: ITS NOT FAIR!**

**Me: But you can make me say anything in your story.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: I know, but YOUR the EDITOR! You can delete anything bad that I make you say!**

**Me: I know, isn't it great?**

**Sora: Hey! You left me out of the conversation!**

**Me: SHUT UP!**

**Sora: Okay. (walks away like it was nothing)**

**Me: When are you gonna update?**

**AndromedaGalaxy: When I get an idea.**

**Me:...Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh...**

**AndromedaGalaxy: You can end the chapter now.**

**Me: I know...(stops time)**

**(pulls Sora's pants down, puts his hand on his crotch, and puts him in the girl's locker room)**

**(walks back to room, plays time, and smiles)**


	43. Ch43 Do You Taste Like Chicken

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.43 Do You Taste Like Chicken**

**Me: Hello! Again! As always! GUESS WHAT?**

**Riku:...Uuuuh...What?**

**Me: I GOTS COOKIES!**

**Sora:...COOKIES!**

**Me: YEAH! ITS GREAT! I GOTS CHEWY CHOCOLATE CHIP AND DOUBLE STUFFED OREOS!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: You lied about giving up chocolate, did you know that?**

**Me: Yes I do, but its my harmones causing it.**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...Okay.**

**Me:...Theres nothing to talk about.**

**Riku: GASP!**

**Me: WHAT?**

**Riku annoyed: I have an idea, lets just start THE STORY.**

**Me: Oh! Great idea!**

**Riku: Anytime now.**

**Me: I know.**

**Sora: Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock.**

**Riku: START THE DAMN STORY!**

**Me: OKAY! (runs off crying)**

**AndromedaGalaxy to Riku: JERK!**

**Riku: Wha? She cried because of that?**

**AndromedaGalaxy: It's the girly harmones. (starts to cry too)**

**Riku: OH GOD! STOP CRYING!**

**Sora: Sniffle...(starts to cry too)**

**Riku: (sigh) Okaaaaaaaaaay...I'm...Eeeeeeer...Sorry.**

**Sora: YAY! (hugs Riku)**

**Riku: AAAAAAAAAH! GET OFF! MEN DON'T HUG EACH OTHER! **

**AndromedaGalaxy: Hee, hee! DON'T LET GO SORA!**

**Sora: (squeezes harder) I LOVE YOU!**

**Riku: IT BURNS!**

**Sora opened his eyes. He looked around and at himself. It was nightime at the desert, he was tied up, and so were three of his friends. Aeris, Leon, and Riku were tied up, asleep too. Cloud ran away, but where did Yuffie go? He then sees a campfire from afar. He wiggles over to the others and wakes them up.**

**"Ssssssssssp! Guys get up!" They didn't move.**

**"SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSP!"**

**"WAKE YOUR BUTTS UP!" They all jumped and looked around.**

**"Why are we tied up?" Leon asks.**

**"I don't know, I see a campfire, maybe if we wiggle to it, we can get the ropes burned off of us." Sora said. They never did notice the dagger in Leon's back pocket. They all began to wiggle toward the campfire. They see someone sitting on a log. It looked like a female figure.**

**"HELLO!" Riku shouted happily.**

**"SSSSSSSSSSSSH!" Aeris whisper shouted at him. **

**The girl on the log turned her head. It was Yuffie and she looked like she didn't have a week of sleep by her face. **

**"Are you guys hungry?" She says in a crazed like voice.**

**"You bet!" Sora says, drooling.**

**"Then who's first?" She asks, then stands up with a sphere in her hand, staring hungrily at them. Aeris was the first to get worried.**

**"Uuuuh...Yuffie, what are you doing with that?" She asks, frightened as ever.**

**"Well, I'm gonna fix some DINNER!" A drop of foam falls from her grittened teeth. **

**"YUFFIE! SNAP OUT OF IT! WERE NOT FOOD!" Aeris shouts back.**

**"Hey, theres a dagger in my pocket!" Leon shouts in surprise...Idiot. **

**He tries to pull it out, and succeeds, he cuts the rope and stands up. **

**"NO!" Yuffie screams. She then charges at him.**

**Leon pulls out his gun blade.**

**"Ooo! Shiny!" He shouts in delight.**

**Yuffie stops and stares at it too. It starts to glow.**

**"Its...Its...BEAUTIFUL!" She shouts. She drops the sphere. **

**She shakes her head and falls to her knees.**

**"Oooooh...What happened?" She asks while grabbing her head.**

**"You were trying to eat us!" Sora shouts, still tied up.**

**"Peanuts!" Riku shouts in anger, stilled tied up too.**

**"I'm sorry guys, let me and Leon untie you." She then does what she says.**

**Their all free.**

**"Well, we need to eat something." Leon says, gripping his growling stomach.**

**"We'll make a vote then." Aeris follows after Leon.**

**"All in favor, of eating Sora, raise your hand." **

**Everyone raises their hand, including Sora. Sora then hesitates.**

**"Wait..." He says. He just realized what the vote was for.**

**They all stare at him hungerly.**

**"I GET HIS THIGH!" Leon claims. Eeeeeeew...Gross.**

**Sora then runs. **

**"GO GET HIM RIKU!" Aeris commands Riku. **

**Riku snarls, gets on hit feet and hands, and runs after Sora. Sora gets to a plateau cliff and stops. He turns around and sees Riku ready to pounce on him. Sora closes his eyes and falls backwards off the cliff. He lands on his head. He forgot he hadn't visited Tinkerbell lately. He opens his eyes and sees Riku standing over him hungrily. He then closes his eyes.**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Me: I know, this chapter was probably more scary than funny. The next chapter is going to be funnier, I promise.**

**(Riku starts to melt because Sora is still hugging him)**

**Sora cheerfully: Riku is SQUISHY!**

**Me: YAAAY! SQUISHY!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: SQUISHY!**

**Riku: I'M NOT SQUISHY! I'M BURNING!**

**Me: Yaaaaay! BURNING!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: BURNING!**

**(Riku melts into a puddle)**

**Me: NOOOOOOOOOO! (cries near the puddle)**

**(Real Riku walks in)**

**Riku: GASP! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY WAX FIGURE?**

**Me: RIKU YOUR ALIVE! (runs up to him and hugs him)**

**Riku: AAAAAAAAH! IT BURNS! (melts into a puddle)**

**Me: WAAAAAAH! NOT AGAIN! (turns into a puddle)**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...I'm scared. OMG! THIS MEANS I'M NEXT! COME ON SORA, LETS GO! (looks around) (Sora is gone) Sora? (sees Sora puddle) OMG! (turns around) NOOOO! (turns into puddle)**

**(Leon walks in)**

**Leon: Oh, great! Now their going to expect me to clean up this mess!...Oooo! Pudding! (gets a spoon and starts to eat the puddles)**


	44. Ch44 Back To Crazy From Insane

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.44 Back To Crazy From Insane**

**Me: Confusing chapter title, huh?**

**Sora: Hey, were not pudding!**

**Me: I know, weren't we pudding in the last chapter?**

**Riku: Actually we were puddles.**

**Me: Pudding, puddles, same thing.**

**Riku: No their not.**

**Me:...FINE! Their different, you happy?**

**Riku:...Very.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: So why did we turn into puddles?**

**Me: It turns out there was a toxin in the air.**

**(all look at Riku)**

**Riku:...Huh?...OH COME ON GUYS! I only fart in the story!**

**Me: Oh, this reminds me...(gets something out of pocket) I bought you a present Riku!**

**Riku sarcastically: Oh god, I can't wait.**

**Me: (pulls out blue kitty-kat ears) TA DA! (puts them on his head)**

**Riku: (takes them off of head) I'll pass.**

**Me teary eyed: But-but-but they match your OUTFIT SO PERFECTLY!**

**Riku: Well, I don't want them.**

**Me: BUT THEY MATCH! (cries)**

**Riku to AndromedaGalaxy: Harmones?**

**AndromedaGalaxy: No, shes just a fashion freak, she hardly wears the same outfit twice.**

**Me: (stops crying and is cheery self again) My secret is that, if you have a shirt that is too small, and it shows your belly, but you still love it, you can wear a sweather over it, zip it up to where you can still see the shirt, but not your belly, roll up the sleeves to your elbows, and add bracelots! Just to let you know, I am obsessed with fashion, but I don't tell other people what to wear, cause everyone has their own style, I only give advice if asked. Wow, long sentences!**

**Riku: YOU...TALK...TOO...MUCH! **

**Me: (cries) YOU WONT WEAR THE KITTY EARS! (NOTE: I'm actually getting teary eyed writing this, it's so WIERD!)**

**Riku: I'M NOT GONNA WEAR THEM AND THATS FINAL!**

**Me: I HATE YOU! (runs to room and constantly slams the door)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Oh god, now I have to go comfort her! THANKS ALOT RIKU!**

**Sora woke up from someone shaking him.**

**"Sora, wake up." A male voice said.**

**He opened his eyes and saw Cloud, hovering over him in the desert. It looked like morning.**

**"Oooo...What happened?" Sora asks woozily.**

**"Well, you fell backwards off this cliff, landed on your head, and Riku was about to get you, but I stopped him, and saved you."**

**"Thanks."**

**"It seems were the only ones who aren't insane." Cloud says.**

**HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! He makes me laugh! HEE HEE HA! Only ones who aren't insane! HA HA HA! Happy sigh...**

**"We need to get them back to normal." Cloud continues.**

**"Wait, who?"**

**"The others."**

**"Ooooh...They were normal?" **

**"Well, you know what I mean."**

**"Keep them from eating eachother?"**

**"Yeah."**

**"Ooooh..."**

**"We need to know how to change them back, do you have any ideas?"**

**"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..."**

**THE GUN BLADE!**

**"Hmmm...Let me think."**

**SORA THE GUN BLADE!**

**"Hmmm..."**

**THE SHINY GLOWING GUN BLADE THAT LEON CARRIES!**

**"I'm still thiiiiiiiinking..."**

**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!**

**A tiny rock falls from the sky and lands on Sora's head, followed by a thud.**

**"OW! Hey! I got it!" Sora shouts as an imaginary light bulb appears.**

**"What?"**

**"We could use..."**

**Yes, thats it...**

**"WATER!"**

**YOU IDIOT THIS IS A DESERT!**

**A bigger rock falls on Sora's head, followed by a louder thud.**

**"OW! Okay, it turns out the gun blade snapped Yuffie out of the trance, so maybe it will work on the others!"**

**"We need to work fast so, come on! Lets go!" They then run back to the others.**

**While they run the song "Stupid Girls" is playing...Why? I don't know, I'm just listening to it right now while I'm typing this. Flippen my blonde hair BACK! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Don't I sing beautifully? LA LA LA LA!**

**OH GOD MAKE IT STOP!**

**GASP! Its the illustrater/consience/cricket/whatever I can't remember!**

**...You are wasting precious story time.**

**I know...**

**Cloud and Sora finally came up to the others. **

**"FOOD!" Aeris shouts, pointing at them.**

**"PEANUTS!" You should know who that one is by now.**

**They all then charge.**

**CENSORED, CENSORED, CENSORED, CENSORED.**

**Hee, hee, torture isn't it?**

**Cloud grabbed the gun blade and pointed it at the others.**

**"OOO! SHINY!" Most of them say. **

**Everyone shakes their head and falls to their knees.**

**"Oooooh, where are we?" They ask.**

**"Nevermind that, lets just go." Sora says, trying not to remind them he was on the menu.**

**"Hey, whats that?" Yuffie asks, pointing at a small building from afar.**

**"Who cares, it probably has FOOD!" Leon shouts and runs towards it.**

**"Peanuts!"**

**All then follow Leon's move.**

**(back to talking to Sora)**

**Me calm but still crying: And I told him they matched, but he wouldn't listen, and he took them OFF!**

**AndromedaGalaxy in comfort voice: I know, I was there.**

**Sora to Riku: You should be ashamed Riku.**

**Riku: WHAT? I'M NOT GOING TO WEAR THE EARS, OKAY?**

**Sora:...Can I have them?**

**Riku: Why?**

**Sora: Cause I like them.**

**Riku: Okay, go ahead.**

**(Sora puts the kitty ears on his head)**

**Me: NO SORA! THEY DON'T MATCH YOUR OUTFIT! YOU NEED YELLOW OR RED!**

**Sora: Aaaaaaaaw, fine! (gives ears back to Riku)**

**Riku: Hey, I don't want them. (tries to give them back)**

**Me: WAAAAAAAAAAAAH! RIKU HATES ME!**

**Riku: Well...Its true.**

**Me: (cries harder and glass breaks)**

**Riku: OW! OW! OKAY! OKAY! I'LL WEAR THEM! (puts on kitty ears)**

**Me: (stares at him with bright eyes) YOU LOOK SO HUGGABLE! (opens arms)**

**Riku: If you hug me, I will burn them. (points to ears)**

**Me: (closes arms) Okay, your wearing them, thats all that matters.**

**Riku: When can I take them off?**

**Me:...Never.**


	45. Ch45 Will Sing For Food

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.45 Will Sing For Food**

**Me:...Must...NOT...Hug...Cuddly...Riku.**

**Riku: Seriously when can I take the kitty ears off?**

**Me: NEVER! YOU SO CUTE!**

**Riku:...**

**Sora: I WANT SOME TOO!**

**Me: Okay! I'll give you black ones, so they's really go with your outfit! (gives him black kitty ears)**

**Sora: YAY! (puts them on) (looks up and admires them)**

**Riku: I swear Sora, you are so wierd.**

**Sora: Hey, you were the first to start the kitty ears.**

**Riku: Yeah, because it was either wear them or deal with THAT thing. (looks over at BlueEyedFun)**

**Me spinning in circles: LA LA LA LA! (smiling and singing childishly)**

**Sora:...True.**

**Me: Did you know I drew a dirty picture of Riku?**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Don't talk about that Jam.**

**Me: Well it isn't dirty, I just traced you and gave you a see through shirt, leather vest, spikey collar with a long chain, and-**

**AndromedaGalaxy: JAM I SAID DON'T TALK ABOUT IT.**

**Me: Well, he's wearing clothes! And it looks real good, I'm proud of myself, and also I drew a different one-**

**AndromedaGalaxy: JAM!**

**Me: Well, I CAN'T HELP IT IF I'M GOING THROUGH ANOTHER RIKU OBSESSION! (hides face in hands) **

**Riku:...(backs away)**

**Me: (gets face out of hands) Seriously Riku, you look real cute with those kitty ears! GASP! I NEED TO DRAW A PICTURE LIKE THAT!**

**Riku: OH GOD, PLEASE NO!**

**Me: For the readers, your probably thinking, I need to get a life, I have one, but I can't resist that sexy beast over there! (points to Riku)**

**Riku in freaked out voice: Please don't call me that, the kitty ears are humiliating enough.**

**Sora: I LOVE THEM! (pets his black kitty ears)**

**Me: See! Sora has the kitty spirit!**

**Sora: Meow!**

**Riku: Yeah, but Sora isn't NORMAL!**

**Me in scary voice: (eyes get pulse from blue to yellow.) Yeah, but no one is.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: I think we should start the story now, your eyes are brain washing me.**

**Me: Fine...**

**They got close to the small building, enough to read the sign.**

**"It says "Kareoke Bar!" Yuffie shouts while running.**

**Finally, they all get to the door. They ran inside. There was a stage with disco lights swirling around it, one person serving food, and three costumers. **

**"WE'LL ALL HAVE HAMBURGERS!" Leon shouts from hunger.**

**"You'll have to sing to get it." The waitress says.**

**"What kind of resturaunt is this?" Yuffie asks, with her hands on her hips.**

**The waitress continues.**

**"Didn't you read the sign? Kareoke Bar."**

**"We know that, but we didn't think we had to sing for food." Aeris says, like she was trying to make an understanding.**

**"Well, whoever sings gets food."**

**"I'M FIRST!" Sora hollars and jumps on stage. He hits a button and "My Humps" comes on.**

**"What you gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside that trunk? I'm gonna get-get-get you drunk, get you love drunk off of this hump!" Sora sings, changing his voice from male to female.**

**The others just watch in disbelief. Sora does little dance moves too. Cloud's eyes and ears start to bleed. Why Cloud? Cause he owes me money.**

**When Sora was done, the waitress gave him a hamburger. Sora gulped it down as the others watched, drooling.**

**"THATS IT! I'M NEXT!" Cloud shouts and presses a button on stage.**

**A soft song comes on.**

**"This song, is ment for a special someone." He says. **

**"Aaaaaaaaaaaw." Aeris cooes and stares up at him.**

**Cloud begans to sing horribly.**

**"We were once together and in love! BUT you left me...To be a lonely dove. We got in a fight, and now I forgive you! I miss you and the things we use to do...MISTER SNUFFUMS! COME BACK TO ME! **

**Right then Aeris's eyes caught on fire again. Leon began to cry.**

**"ITS BEAUTIFUL!" He cries out.**

**"THE LOVE BETWEEN A MAN AND HIS SNUGGLE BUDDY!" **

**Aeris gritted her teeth.**

**"Now he's going to feel the love between my fist and his grind." Aeris says through her clenched teeth.**

**Cloud over hears and speeds up the song, so it could end, and so would Aeris's anger.**

**He finally gets his hamburger.**

**Yuffie steps up next.**

**"SUPER MUTANT NINJA TURTLES!" She sings, breaking every piece of glass in the building. The Ninja Turtles at table 9 were shaking their heads shamefully.**

**Riku went up afterwards. **

**"I'M A SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE FOR YOU! I WONT DENY IT! I'M NOT TRYING TO HIDE IT!" He screams at the top of his lungs.**

**"TAKE OFF THE SHIRT!" A voice calls from a table.**

**Soon he got his hamburger.**

**Leon was next.**

**"Kiss me, out of the bearded barley! Nightly, beside the GREEN GREEN GRASS! Swing, swing, swing the SPINNING STEP! You wear those shoes and I will wear that DRESS!" He sings.**

**Soon he gets his hamburger.**

**Last, but not least was Aeris.**

**"Your BEAUTIFUL! Your BEAUTIFUL! YOUR BEAUTIFUL ITS TRUE! There must be an angel, with a SMILE ON HER FACE! When she thought that I should be with YOU!" After she sang, everyone was crying.**

**"Was it really that good?" She asks, surprised.**

**"No, during the middle of it, Riku farted out deadly toxins, and it's making our eyes, water, itch, and burn like crazy!" Yuffie says.**

**Riku gives a proud, childish smile.**

**"And I did it all by myself too!" He says.**

**Aeris then gets her hambuger.**

**Once she finished eating, Cloud asked the waitress for "directions."**

**"Okay, thanks, yeah thanks, oh and heres my number." He gives her a piece of paper, smiles, and winks. Aeris hits him over the head with a plate. **

**The waitress just shakes her head.**

**"How do we get to Hollow Bastion?" Aeris asks.**

**"Well, first you need to take a left at Alberturkey, and then you need to go through the woods of hippies, then you will see a blue house, ring the doorbell, and a really happy bear will give you the rest of the directions."**

**Aeris simply nods and writes everything down on a piece of paper.**

**Soon they were all on their way.**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Me: Ideas are already forming in my head!**

**Riku sarcastically: Juuuuuuuuuuust great...I wish we were all as smart as you.**

**Me: Yeah, I know.**

**Riku:...**

**Me:...Tee hee.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Sooo...What do we do now?**

**Me:...I don't know, but I am determined to hug Riku with those kitty ears on.**

**Riku: Dont...Even...Think about it.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: She can think?**

**Me: I can think?**

**Sora: You can think?**

**Riku: You guys are idiots?**

**Me: We are?**

**AndromedaGalaxy: I am?**

**Sora: You are?**

**Riku:...JUST SHUT UP!**

**Me: We can shut up?**

**Riku: AAAAAARGH!**

**Me: Hee hee, someones cranky.**

**Riku:...Thats it I'm leaving. (walks out the door)**

**Sora: Ba bye!**

**(Riku flips them off right when he closes the door)**

**Me: GASP! BAD KITTY!**

**(Riku's voice is heard outside the door)**

**Riku: I'M NOT A KITTY!**


	46. Ch46 Leon's Hate For Bunnies

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.46 Leon's Hate For Bunnies**

**Me in cheery mood: Hello my dear and beautiful readers!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Jam are you okay?**

**Me: (eye twitches) WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...Just asking. (steps back)**

**Me: Hee hee, just kidding, I'm just really happy.**

**Sora: About what.**

**Me: (holds something behind back) I'll show you. RIKUUUUUUUUUUU!**

**(Riku is heard from other room)**

**Riku: I TOLD YOU I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU ANYMORE!**

**Me: Are you still wearing the kitty ears?**

**Riku:...Yes.**

**Me: SO YOU DO LOVE THEM!**

**Riku: NO! SOMEONE SUPER GLUED THEM TO MY HEAD!**

**Sora: Hee, hee, that was me.**

**Riku: SORA I'M GONNA KILL YOU! (barges through door)**

**Me: (pounces on Riku)**

**Riku: AH! GET OFF OF ME!**

**Me: I have another present for you!**

**Riku: (covering eyes in horror) OH GOD! NO! I DON'T WANT TO SEE!**

**Me:...NOT THAT!...A reader of mine, lunarxshinobi, sent me a NICE present for you in the mail. (puts collar on him)**

**Riku: Huh? (looks scared) **

**Me: (gets off of him) (glances at the others) Now watch this! (pulls out black control with red button)**

**Riku:...(eyes grow wide) OH GOD NO! (tries to get collar off)**

**Me: GASP! TRYING TO GET OUT OF THE COLLAR! THATS BAD! (presses button)**

**(Riku gets shocked)**

**Riku while being eletricuted: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!**

**(stops being shocked)**

**Me: CUSSING? Thats a no-no too! (presses button again)**

**(Riku gets shocked)**

**Riku while being electricuted: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!**

**(stops being shocked)**

**Riku in light scared voice: PLEASE! NO MORE!**

**Me: (has commercial smile) Thanks lunarxshinobi!**

**Aeris shows everyone the directions.**

**"Okay, so all we gotta do is turn left at Alberturkey, go through a woods filled with hippies, and get to a blue house, where a bear will tell us the rest?" Cloud asks, recovering from the plate that "fell" on his head.**

**"Yep." Aeris replies.**

**"Well, I wanna get home and take a nice bath, so lets hurry." Yuffie says while stretching her arms out.**

**Leon stands, drooling over her.**

**"Can I join you?" He asks.**

**Yuffie just simply rolls her eyes.**

**Soon they all head out the door. After at least two hours of walking in the desert, the ground becomes more solid, and they reach a small wooden sign that reads "Alberturkey." They then hear a strange noise, coming towards them.**

**"OMG! EARTHQUAKE!" Aeris shouts and grabs on to Cloud's arm.**

**Cloud looks at her and smiles.**

**"Your hands are soft." He says.**

**Aeris just simply rolls her eyes...WHOA! DEJA VU! (daysha voo) (in case your retarded and can't prounounce deja vu) (Deja Vu- means it seems very familiar, but you just can't put your finger on it.) (in case your retarded and do not know what deja vu means) (if you are **

**offended by this, you should know by now that your a retard if you don't know what deja vu is.) (dont worry...you are not alone.) (continues to watch Teletubbies)**

**A tunnel in the ground appears and swirves all around them.**

**"WHAT IS THAT?" Yuffie screams and points at it.**

**"THE SQUIRRELS HAVE RETURNED!" Leon screams and hides behind Cloud again. **

**Riku looks sad.**

**"...I miss the squirrels." He frowns.**

**The tunnel then stops in front of them. A head pops out of the ground. Its BUGS BUNNY!**

**"Hmmm...Whats up docs...T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t..." He says. **

**Leon's eye begins to twitch.**

**"Where am I?" Bugs Bunny asks, while scratching his head.**

**"Oh! I knew I should of took that right at Alberturkey!" He says, while stomping his freakishly huge feat...I understand his pain.**

**"Uuuuh...Mr. Bugs Bunny, sir, your in Alberturkey." Sora mentions akwardly and points to the sign.**

**"GASP! ITS TRUE! I'M GOING IN CIRCLES! T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T!" **

**Leon's eyes turn red as he looks at Bugs Bunny. He just stands there menacingly, twitching at the bunny. Bugs Bunny then notices Leon, right before he was about to jump back into his hole.**

**"Is your friend okay?" He points at Leon.**

**"I...Hate...BUNNIES." Leon says through clenched teeth.**

**Elmer Fudd runs into the scene.**

**"YOU PESKY RABBIT!" He yells angerly with his shot gun in hand.**

**"Thats my cue!" Bugs shouts and dives into his hole.**

**Leon pulls out his gun blade. He looks toward Elmer and nods. Elmer nods back. The others just stand there and watch, confused.**

**Leon and Elmer put there weapons together.**

**"BUNNY KILLERS! UNITE!" They shout in unison.**

**The others are laughing in the background at them, except for Aeris, who is terrified for Bugs.**

**Elmer sticks his gun in one hole and Leon sticks his blade in another...Oh god, that sounds wrong. They both then wait.**

**"You know he left already...Right?" Yuffie questions there stupidity.**

**"They did?" Leon asks.**

**"Yeah, he left this note on the sign." Cloud says and holds up the note. **

**It reads "Gone to retire...You people are crazy. _Bugs Bunny._"**

**He obviously doesn't know the name of this story.**

**"Ooooo...That pesky RABBIT! I'll get him next huntin season!" Elmer says and stomps on his gun. He then walks off mumbling cuss words. **

**"Do we take the left now?" Sora asks.**

**"I guess so." Aeris sighs.**

**They all then turn left at the sign.**

**(back to talking with Sora.)**

**Riku begging: PLEASE! Can you take the collar off?**

**Me:...Hmmm...Get on your knees.**

**Riku: HUH?**

**Me: GET ON YOUR KNEES! (has finger near red button)**

**Riku: YES MAM! (crawls up to her on knees)**

**(AndromedaGalaxy watches with a smile and popcorn on her face)**

**Riku: (gets on knees next to her) May you PLEAAAAAAAAASE take the collar off? (eyes sparkle)**

**Me: Hmmmmmmmmm...**

**Riku: (waits pitifully) **

**Me:...No.**

**Riku: AH! YOU BITCH!**

**(Riku gets shocked)**

**Me: NO-NO RIKU! BAD KITTY! BAD!**

**(stops being shocked)**

**Riku: (lays on the ground and twitches as black smoke comes off of him)**

**Sora: THIS IS FUN! (watches with popcorn all over his face too)**

**Me praising: (pets Riku on the head) Good boy!**

**Riku:...(not moving)**


	47. Ch47 Peace And Drugs

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.47 Peace And Drugs**

**Me: Riku hasn't been moving for awhile...**

**Riku:...(leg twitches)**

**Me: YAY! HE'S NOT DEAD!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: YAY! Can I get one of those collars for Squallie?**

**Me: No, because the collar thingy is mine.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (glares at BlueEyedFun)**

**Me: (glares back)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (starts to smile) ARGH! Your lucky I can't keep a straight face.**

**Me: Because you aren't straight.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: JAM! (hits her on the shoulder)**

**Me: OW! I was kidding! JEEZ! (rubs shoulder) Oh...I have a question.**

**Sora: What?**

**Me: Not for YOU! So far I have been checking my stats, seeing if I'm on favorites list and stuff and I realized something...Not one of them is a boy...I'm not sure it's true though, because some of the profiles don't say anything...Wierd.**

**Sora: You probably scared them all off.**

**Me: And I don't think I have any reviewers who are guys too...YOU SEXIST!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: YEAH! SEXIST!**

**Sora: SEXIST!**

**Me: Hee hee...It's funny to hear Sora say sexist.**

**Sora: I'm just trying to help...**

**Me: I know, but for some reason, you ruin it.**

**Sora: WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME!**

**Me:...Sora are you okay?**

**(Sora is rolling on the floor screaming)**

**Me:...**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...**

**Riku:...(twitch)**

**Me:...Okay, lets start the story.**

**They all walked for about 4 hours and the ground became more greener and lusher. The word lusher makes me thirsty...Oh, sorry. Soon they got to a beautiful, dewey, lush forest...SEE! THERE IT IS AGAIN! LUSH!...I'm sorry...I feel thirsty...I'll go get a drink of water now...What is the point of this story?**

**"WOW! IT'S BEAUTIFUL!" Yuffie shouts in amazement.**

**Thats what I just said...Get a new vocabulary.**

**"Well, lets just stay watch for those dirty hippies." Aeris says, holding herself.**

**NOTE: I have nothing against hippies. In fact, most people at my school think I'm one.**

**"We need to find a blue house." Leon mentions, reminding them.**

**"But how? I don't see any smoke." Cloud says.**

**They all look down and see blue footprints.**

**"Lets follow these." Yuffie then says, following her intincts. The others then agree.**

**30 minutes go by and they haven't seen one hippie.**

**"Maybe they all died from drug abuse." Cloud mentions, as they are walking.**

**"Maybe a giant venus fly trap ate them." Sora mentions also.**

**They all stop and look at him.**

**"Why the hell could that happen?" Cloud asked with one eye brow up.**

**"Well, with whats going on in our "adventures" it seems like anything could happen."**

**"...True."**

**"I HAVE TO GO PEEEEEEEEEEE!" Riku screams, grabbing his crouch.**

**They all step back, leaving Sora in front.**

**"...OH COME ON!" Sora shouts.**

**"You know him more Sora." Leon says while eyeing the "in pain" Riku.**

**"Yeah, but Aeris usually takes care of him!" **

**"Actually I'm on vacation." She disagrees.**

**"WHO GOES ON VACATION IN THE WOODS!"**

**"Apparently me."**

**"YOU KNOW WHAT! FINE! Riku! Come on!" Sora takes Riku by the hand and leads him off the blue foot prints into some other part of the forest. He finally stops somewhere and lets Riku take care of his business.**

**"Is it number 1 or number 2?" Sora askes him.**

**"It's number 17."**

**"...Whats number 17?"**

**"I don't know."**

**"Number 1 is pee and number 2 is poop, Riku."**

**"Pee, pee."**

**"THANK GOD! Just making sure."**

**Right when Riku finishes they hear a voice coming from a bush.**

**"Hey man...Wanna get wet?"**

**"I'm already wet!" Riku says proudly and points to a spot on his pants.**

**"Do you at least wanna get high, man?" **

**"WE COULD FLY?" Sora yelps with an childish, astonished look on his face.**

**"Yeah, um, sure man...Whatever."**

**"COME ON RIKU! LETS GO!" Sora then takes Riku by the hand and runs through the bushes with him.**

**It was like another world on the other side of that bush. There was a water fall, right next to a meadow, with a happy, smiling sun, and millions of colorful people, dancing, playing bass guitars, and getting high.**

**"Its like the cosplay convention ALL OVER AGAIN!" Sora shouts in amazement.**

**"Its like PIE!" Riku shouts too.**

**"...How?"**

**A man with long hair, ripped jeans, and a pink baggy shirt walks up to them.**

**"WELCOME SUN BROTHERIN!" He calls friendly and almost bows down.**

**"My name is Herben Eagle, what are your names, fellow sun brotherin?"**

**"Sora." **

**"No, we do not use our real names here."**

**"Oh, well my name is...Uuuuh...Tree." Sora is dumb.**

**"Mine is PEANUT!" You know who that is.**

**"Welcome Tree and Peanut, will you like to join us in the merriment of sunflower dancing?"**

**"Uuuuh...Sure...Whens the getting high part?" Sora is still dumb.**

**"It will come soon...Trust me."**

**Tree and Peanut then follow Herben Eagle.**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Me: I know, it probably wasn't that funny...I don't know...I have to read over it.**

**Riku:...(twitch)**

**Me:...(splashes water on Riku) WAKE UP!**

**Riku: (jumps up) COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD!**

**Sora:...I'm tired.**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...Me too.**

**Me: (pokes Riku) Are you dead?**

**Riku: NO! I'M COLD NOW BECAUSE OF YOU!**

**Me: Snappy attitude? Thats BAAAD...(is about to press red button)**

**Riku: NOOOOOOO! I'M SORRY! PLEASE DON'T!**

**Me: I feel wrong about doing this to poor Riku...**

**Sora: Can I do it?**

**Me: SURE! (gives Sora control)**

**Riku: NOOOOOOOOOO! HE'LL ABUSE THE POWER OF IT!**

**Sora: OW! THAT SHOUT HURT MY EARS! (presses button)**

**(Riku gets shocked)**

**Riku: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!**

**Sora: OW! THAT HURT TOO! (presses button again)**

**(Riku gets shocked harder)**

**(Riku is grabbing on to the collar and is rolling around in pain)**

**Sora: DON'T MOVE LIKE THAT! (presses button again)**

**(Riku gets shocked even HARDER)**

**Riku while being shocked: I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORAAAAAAAA!**

**Me: (takes control from Sora) Heh, heh, maybe I should just give it to Andromada.**

**Sora: Aaaaaaaaaaw...**

**(Riku is crispy)**

**Riku between breaths: Thank...You...**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (takes control) YAY! **

**Me: Okay, now only hit it, when I tell you to, okay?**

**AndromedaGalaxy cheerfully: Okay! (hits button)**

**(Riku gets shocked)**

**Riku: AAAAAAH! What was that for!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Just seeing if it still works.**

**Me: Well, thanks for reading this chapter! If updated, move on to the next one!**


	48. Ch48 I Feel Giggly

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.48 I Feel Giggly**

**Me: Just to let you know, this chapter is going to be crazy and funny because I am REALLY GIGGLY right now!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: YAY!**

**Me: It turns out I was wrong! A guy did read my story! ALL THE WAY TO CHAPTER 47! So I take back the sexist thing. **

**AndromedaGalaxy: I was so sure you scared guys off with your pervertedness.**

**Me:...SHHHHHH!**

**Riku: WHAT DA HELL?**

**Me to Riku: Oh, like you just discovered that!**

**Sora: She's also derranged.**

**Me:...Okay, I can't disagree on that one.**

**Riku: And retarted.**

**Me: Hey, I have my on and off switches and I can control them!**

**Riku: I really don't want to touch those switches.**

**Me: YOU MAKE IT SOUND WRONG! (hides face in hands)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Should I shock him?**

**Me: (looks up evily) Be my guest.**

**Riku: OH GOD!**

**(Riku gets shocked)**

**Me: Oh, this reminds me! I have a present for someone!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Thank you Jam!**

**Me: Not you!**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...Harsh.**

**Me: You'll all find out later.**

**Sora: HEY! I HAD ONLY ONE THING TO SAY!**

**Me:...No one cares what you think Sora.**

**Sora: WHATEVER HAPPENED TO ME BEING THE LEAD CHARACTER! (runs off crying)**

**Me to camera crew: Next clip...NEXT CLIP!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: GASP! I didn't know we had a camera crew!**

**"Wow, they sure are taking awhile." Yuffie says, tapping her foot.**

**"Maybe Riku is constapaded." Leon said with a light shiver from his imagination.**

**"No, I was sure he said he had to go pee." Aeris mentioned after Leon.**

**Showing "Tree" and "Peanut's" merriment.**

**"Is it me, or is that hot, hippie chick winking at me?" Peanut asks, blinking crazily.**

**"Dude...I think thats a bear..." Tree answers, squinting his eyes.**

**"I think I'm preganent." **

**"WHAT? YOUR A GUY THOUGH."**

**"I'm getting FAT!" Peanut starts to poke his belly.**

**"No your not! Your just on drugs."**

**"So this is what this stuff is." Peanut looks at the joint in his hand.**

**"I thought it was another tootsie roll!"**

**"Tootsie rolls are brown! And what do you mean by another?"**

**"Some guy dropped one earlier."**

**"DUDE! That was shit!"**

**They then start laughing. I'm starting to feel smarter...Not really.**

**Back to where the others are.**

**"Hey, where did Yuffie go?" Cloud asks, looking around.**

**Shows scene to where Yuffie is.**

**"So, NinjaGoddes! What shall we do next!" A hippie asks.**

**"WE EAT! ICECREAM!" NinjaGoddes shouts, who is Yuffie and digs into a bucket of icecream.**

**Back to others.**

**"THERE TAKING US AWAY ONE BY ONE!" Leon calls at the sky, pulling his hair.**

**"Who?" Aeris asks.**

**"THE ALIENS!"**

**"Actually, it's the hippies." Cloud corrects.**

**Back to Tree and Peanut.**

**"That bear looks so hot right now." Tree stares at a hairy hippie.**

**"You would bang a bear?" Peanut asks confused.**

**"Depends..."**

**"That is wrong...Everyone knows ducks are better."**

**Herben Eagle walks up to them.**

**"Hello Tree and Peanut." He calls.**

**Tree grabs on to Herben Eagle's leg.**

**"I am SO desperate right NOW!" Tree breathes out.**

**CENSORED, CENSORED, CENSORED, CENSORED**

**"Wow, that was GREAT!" Tree calls out in amazement.**

**"Yeah, it was." Herben Eagle agrees.**

**It turns out Peanut got in a fight with another hippie and the other hippie won...It was very violent...I've never seen sunflowers go that far before...What did you think happen?**

**"Lets go eat dirt now." Herben Eagle orders.**

**"Okay." Tree then follows him like it was an ordinary day.**

**Back to the others.**

**"Okay, we have to find them all." Aeris says, huddled with Leon and Cloud.**

**"What-What-What if we get lost...And...And the only way to pass on the human race...Is to reproduce." Cloud looks at Aeris.**

**"We'd be lost, not the end of the world." She answers back at him for even trying.**

**Leon brings out a shot gun. **

**"Lets blow up some hippies." Leon says like it's revenge or something.**

**Back to Yuffie.**

**"Hmmmm..." She thinks.**

**She starts to bury her head in the icecream bucket.**

**"ICECREAM!" She mumbles happily in the bucket, which came out like "Ikeem!"**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Me: READY FOR THE SURPRISE PRESENT!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: YEAH!**

**Me: WELL YOUR NOT READY!**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...**

**Sora:...Who wants to bang a bear?**

**Me:...Well from the story, it seems like you wanted to.**

**Sora: Yeah, but you made me say that!**

**Me: And I can make you say something else too!**

**Sora: Like what?...I...Bang...Bears.**

**Me: Like that.**

**Sora: GASP! YOU MADE ME SAY THAT!**

**Me: I am going to do something special for someone, because they begged for it so-**

**Riku: Haven't you ever heard of abstinence?**

**Me:...NO! NOT THAT! SHOCK HIM!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: WEEEEE! (presses button)**

**(Riku gets shocked)**

**Me: As I was saying, for lunarxshinobi, she said she wanted Sora. **

**Sora:...You aren't going to give me to her...Are you?**

**Me:...Well...I need you for the story...Soo...She can have you for three chapters, so on the 51th chapter you come back.**

**Sora: I AM NOT A PIECE OF MEAT! (is wearing a steak costume)**

**Me: Sora, do you know what your wearing?**

**Sora: A steak costume...AND IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING!**

**Me: I owe her for giving me Riku's SHOCK COLLAR! (grabs Sora by the hand and tries to lead him out the door.)**

**Riku:...I hate lunarxshinobi. (looks directly at camera) YOU HAVE RUINED MY LIFE!...EVEN MORE!**

**(Riku is then shocked)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Don't do that! You aren't aloud to speak yet!**

**lunarxshinobi walks in: SOOOOOORAAAAAA! (has leash)**

**Sora: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I AM NOT AN ITEM!**

**Me: Sorry Sora, but I owe her.**

**(Sora is carried away by lunarxshinobi) **

**lunarxshinobi: YAY!**

**Me: Everyone say goodbye to Sora! (everyone waves)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: WE'LL MISS YOU!**

**Me calls: TRY TO POTTY TRAIN HIM FOR US!**

**Sora from afar: YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T TELL NO ONE!**


	49. Ch49 Drugged One By One

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.49 Drugged One By One**

**Me: Hello! I still feel giggly...It's now morning!**

**AndromedaGalaxy in cheery voice: I went to a sleep over last night!**

**Me in same cheery voice: I don't care!**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...**

**Me: I'm just kidding. You know that.**

**Riku: (is trying to get collar off in corner)**

**(Riku gets shocked)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: I SAW THAT!**

**Me: I have an award for somebody! **

**AndromedaGalaxy: Really? Who?**

**Me: The award goes to Axel fanperson for being the first guy to admit his existence to reading my story! (gives him celery) I would give you a nice, delicious, chocolate chip cookie, but those are for me.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Mmmm...Chocolate.**

**Me: Mmmm...Cookies.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Mmmmmmm...**

**Me: What is wrong with us?**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...I really don't know.**

**Me:...Stupid puberty.**

**Riku:...Are we going to start the story now?**

**Me: Shock him.**

**Riku: Huh?**

**(Riku gets shocked)**

**Me: Quit trying to run my story!**

**"Hey where did Cloud go?" Leon asks, looking around.**

**"He was right here." Aeris says, looking around also.**

**Shows scene with Cloud.**

**Cloud is frolicking in a meadow with other hippies.**

**"I am a beautiful woman!" He shouts happily, spinning around.**

**...That was disturbing.**

**Back to Leon and Aeris.**

**"Okay, we have to FIND THEM!" Aeris cries out.**

**Leon then starts to shake her.**

**"BUT THE HIPPIES!"**

**"Hey, didn't you have a shot gun earlier?"**

**Leon stops shaking Aeris and looks at his empty hands.**

**"OMG! I DID! Those damn hippies!"**

**Shows scene to Peanut.**

**"Oooooh." He wakes up and rubs his head.**

**"I think theres something up my butt." He pulls a sunflower out of his butt.**

**"Pretty..." He then begins to sniff it.**

**A hippie girl walks up to him.**

**"Will you help me find my kitty?" She asks pitifully.**

**"Okay...What does your kitty look like?"**

**"He is gray."**

**Riku then picks up a rock and hands it to her.**

**"I found him!"**

**She just stares at the rock and walks away.**

**Riku then goes towards the water.**

**"Ooooh...Water." He says and pokes it.**

**He then sticks his head in the water.**

**To scene with Tree and Herben Eagle.**

**"Have you ever noticed that the sun is bright?" Tree asks.**

**"...It's smiling at me."**

**"I think it wants you."**

**"...I think I want it too."**

**"...Weird."**

**"Yeah...I know."**

**"I'm gonna take a bath."**

**"Okay."**

**Tree then strips his clothes and starts to roll around in dirt.**

**...Even more disturbing.**

**Scene to Yuffie.**

**"I CAN'T GET MY HEAD OUT OF THE BUCKET!" She mumbles a scream, which sounded like "Ah cunt ge ma hea ouy o da buffay!" **

**Sounds like slang.**

**A drugged hippie then walks up to her. Yuffie senses someone is near her.**

**"HELP ME!" She mumbles out, which sounds like "Helf mu!" **

**The hippie then sits on her.**

**Back to Leon and Aeris.**

**"Okay...Okay...Don't panic...DO NOT PANIC!" Aeris then begins to shake Leon, screaming.**

**Leon shakes her back, while screaming too. Aeris stops and looks around. She then turns back and Leon is gone.**

**"OH GREAT! NOW I GOTTA BE THE HERO!" She shouts out at the sky.**

**Tee hee...**

**"I HATE YOU!"**

**I know...**

**Show scene where Leon is.**

**"So...If you say I smoke it...All my dreams will come true?" He asks, looking at a hippie with a joint in his hand.**

**The hippie nods and smiles.**

**"I wish I was a real boy." He then smokes it.**

**WHAT DA HELL?**

**Shows scene to where Aeris is.**

**"Time to get out my hippie beater." She says and pulls out a giant stick.**

**She then runs off the blue foot prints and out into the forest.**

**(back to talking with...Uuuum...Well Sora isn't here)**

**Me: Riku can grow sunflowers out his butt!**

**Riku: No I can't! The hippie guy put it up there from the fight!...Wait...Why am I playing along?**

**Me: I know, but it would be cool if you did.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: I don't want to imagine that Jam, so please get off the subject.**

**Me:...BLOOD!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: AAAAH! STOP THE IMAGES! (runs around in circles grabbing head)**

**Me: TEE HEE! **


	50. Ch50 Don't Kill The Trees

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.50 Don't Kill The Trees**

**Me: (wearing party hat) JUST 50 MORE CHAPTERS TO GO THEN I HAVE COMPELTED MY GOAL!**

**AndromedaGalaxy sad and happy: Awwwwwwwww...But YAY!**

**Me: (blows noise maker thingy) The best part is...SORA ISN'T HERE!**

**People in background: YAY!**

**Riku:...(sitting in a chair, crossing his arms, frowning, wearing a giant party hat)...I look stupid.**

**Me:...Oh, I forgot something. (gets out a shock collar)**

**Riku: (stares at at)...Who's that one for?**

**Me: (takes off Riku's collar)**

**Riku happily: (grabs neck) I'M FREE! SO FREE! I'm gonna run around AND-**

**Me: (puts new shock collar on him)**

**Riku:...(sniff)**

**Me: This one is voice activated and I thank Kokonita, a reader of mine for the idea, (changes to quiet voice) and also to get her to stop mentioning it...(evil smile)**

**Riku: PLEASE NO!**

**Me: (programs his collar) HOLD STILL!**

**Riku: (acts like a little child, struggling) NOOOOOOOO!**

**Me: It works like this!...SHOCK!**

**(Riku is electricuted by collar)**

**(his head starts to sizzle)**

**Me: (laughing my butt off)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Aaaaw, this means I don't have the button...Oh, and Jam?**

**Me: (giggling) Yeah?**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...Your evil.**

**Me: (still laughing) Oh god, I know...(puts hand on forehead)**

**Riku:...(sizzle)**

**Aeris ran through the woods carrying her hippie beater, while she was running she felt something hit her foot, and she tripped. She got off the ground and saw she had pulled a rope, which sent a log with a bunch of spikes on it heading right towards her. She quickly jumped out of the way on a pile of leaves. The leaves collapsed through and she fell through a pit. She quickly crawled out and grunted at each climb. She soon got out and right where her foot stepped a set of beams shooted out all over the forest. She rushed over, around, and under them. Right when she thought it was done, she stepped on ANOTHER trigger which a rope wrapped around her foot and pulled her up by a tree, hanging upside down in the air. From the exaustion she closed her eyes. She soon woke and saw a group of hippies under her, smiling evily...LIKE ME! MUWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!...Sorry...Theres this ONE guy at school who won't stop calling me a hippie...Its because my hair is REALLY long...He's jealous...Hee hee...Sorry...AGAIN...CONTINUE! **

**"I see you fell through our TRAPS." Herben Eagle says with a smirk.**

**"Give me back my friends!" Aeris shouts bravely, but still scared.**

**"If you hurt them I'LL-"**

**"Their already hurting themselves."**

**"Huh?**

**"Sora is going to get bit by poinsonus bugs, rolling around on the ground, NAKED, Yuffie is going to suffocate in a bucket of icecream, Riku is drowning himself, without knowing, Cloud thinks he's a woman and is probably going to get beat up, and Leon is going to get sued severely by Pinnochio for taking his wish."**

**"ITS BECAUSE YOU DRUGGED THEM!" Aeris's eyes were on fire now. The rope catched on fire and so did the tree. **

**The hippies quickly took their joints and lit them from the burning tree, and THEN ran away screaming, "DON'T KILL THE TREES!"**

**Aeris then smirked, having an idea. The hippies weakness was for the trees. **

**"Did you know, the paper that had made your joints is from TREES?" She asked evily.**

**"IT'S NOT TRUE!" Some retarded hippie shouts out painfully in the background. **

**They all quickly take a smoke from their joints and threw them down on the ground, running away. Before Herben Eagle could join them, Aeris grabbed him by his tattered, tie-dye shirt and threatened him.**

**"BRING ME TO MY FRIENDS!" She yells, holding him by the shirt in one hand and holding her hippie beater in the other.**

**"THEIR IN THE VALLY! Just don't kill the trees...OR ME!" **

**She then spares him and runs toward the valley. She gathers up all her friends and finds shelter, until they all get normal again...Well you know...NOT DRUGGED. Soon they all snap out of it and continue their journey on the blue foot prints, right after they had just burned down the hippie village, stole their women, and ate their children...Sorry, thats vikings...But the burning down the village part is TRUE. As they were walking, Sora says something.**

**"Guess what I have learned today?" He asked them.**

**"We DON'T care." Some of them say in unison.**

**"It turns out." He then stops, ready to give a long speech.**

**"TREES our are friends...They help give us oxygen, they provide shelter, great climbing object, warmth, and...FRIENDSHIP." A happy tear falls from his eyes.**

**"Sora...You wipe your butt with trees." Yuffie says to him.**

**"FREE THE TREES!" He shouts out. **

**He then grabs an axe and runs up to a tree. He chops it down.**

**"RUN TREE! RUN!" He cries.**

**"GO FREE!"**

**The tree just lays there.**

**"...Sora?...Your an asshole." Leon says.**

**They soon carry on.**

**(back to talking with...Well...SORA ISN'T HERE!)**

**Me: Yes, I know this chapter was short.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: What is going on with Sora anyway?**

**Riku: I bet he's having more torture than me right now...(soon smiles, thinking about Sora in pain)**

**Me: No, not at all, lunarxshinobi is pampering him out of his wits, with chocolate...CHOCOLATE!**

**Riku:...I...Hate...(eye twitches)...SORAAAAA...**

**Me:...Hey, weren't you sizzling?**

**AndromedaGalaxy: It's obviously he stopped Jam.**

**Me: Oh, lunarxshinobi, you have to give Sora back in the next chapter okay?**

**Riku: NOOOOOOOOOO!**

**Me: SHOCK!**

**(Riku is electricuted)**

**Me: DO NOT SPEAK YET!**

**Riku:...Ow.**

**Me: SHOCK!**

**(Riku is electricuted)**

**Me: I SAID DO NOT SPEAK!**

**Riku: But I thought you ment-**

**Me: SHOCK!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (grabs head and rolls around) Make it STOP! Make the pretty lights STOP! MAKE IT STOP!**

**Me:...O-O...Meep.**


	51. Ch51 Screw Ups 3

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.51 Screw Ups 3**

**Me: Hi, by the chapter title YOU KNOW what this chapter is going to be about...INCASE you don't know...Does bloopers and deleted scenes ring a bell?**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Sora comes back today!**

**Me: He doesn't seem to be here yet, BUT we have a SPECIAL...Very special, GUEST!**

**(Chris, Andromada's 8 year old brother comes in)**

**Chris: Oh wow! Ooooooo! (Sees Riku wearing kitty ears) (points and laughs) Heh, heh, ha...That's funny.**

**Riku: (glares)**

**Chris: Hee, hee, hee...You look funny.**

**Me: SORA'S BACK!**

**Chris: Sora's back? **

**(Sora walks in)**

**Me:...O-O...OMG! THAT'S NOT SORA!**

**Sora: (is a giant fat blob of mess) (moaning) Oooooooh...Too...Much...Chocolate.**

**Me:...LUNARXSHINOBI WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM! (breathes heavy)**

**lunarxshinobi heard from afar: I'M NOT HERE RIGHT NOW!**

**Me: (looks at camera) If you want to know what she did to him, go look in my reviews.**

**Chris: (pokes Sora) You aren't Sora. (smile)**

**Sora: Yes I am. (gasps for air) I just don't look like it.**

**Chris: Guess what?**

**Sora: Wha-**

**Chris: I have your game, and I'm real far, I got on this one part, where you have to fight the giant heartless, and it took me a long time to defeat it, but I won, and I got to change your keyblade to a more powerful one, and this one part was real cool when Donald and Goofy-**

**Riku shreiking: (pulls hair) MAKE THAT THING STOP TALKING!**

**Sora: AAAAH! MY BODY FAT! (body fat swallows Chris whole)**

**Chris: Aaaaaaah!**

**Sora: I'M SORREEEEEE!**

**Riku: Shut up Sora, you did us all a favor. (takes hands off of ears)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (hugs Sora) THANK YOU SO MUCH!**

**Sora: (body fat jiggles)...It likes you.**

**(Ch.43 Do You Taste Like Chicken)**

**(Blooper where Sora jumps off the plateau cliff)**

**Sora: (jumps off) I CAN FLY! (splatters across the ground)**

**Riku: UH! I think I got some of that on my FACE!**

**Cloud: (runs in with giant sword...Tee, hee...SWORD) I'LL SAVE YOU SO-(slips on Sora's splat) RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (lands on head)**

**Riku:...(runs away)**

**(Ch.46 Leon's Hate For Bunnies)**

**(Deleted Scene where Bugs Bunny runs off and so did Elmer Fudd)**

**Sora: Hey, look! I secret door! **

**(secret door appears in front of them)**

**Sora: (opens door) (sees Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd in a wierd position)**

**Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd:...O-O**

**Others:...O-O**

**Leon:...I THOUGHT YOU MENT WHAT YOU SAID! (runs off crying)**

**(Ch.47 Peace And Drugs)**

**(Blooper where Riku exclaims he has to go pee)**

**Riku: I HAVE TO GO PEEEEEEE! (wet mark spreads in the crotch of his pants)**

**Aeris: RIKU! YOU ASS WIPE! You were suppose to hold it!**

**Riku: Actually, pee doesn't come out your ass Aeris...(retarded)**

**Sora: IT DOESN'T? (physically retarded)**

**(Ch.48 I Feel Giggly)**

**(Deleted Scene where Yuffie sticks her head in the icecream bucket)**

**Yuffie: (head in icecream bucket with her butt in the air)**

**Hippie Guy: (walks by humming) Hmmmmummmhmmmma...(stops right in front of her) O-O (unzips pants)**

**(SCENES OVER)**

**(Yes I know it was REALLY short, but I didn't have alot of material right now, and if you mention it in a review after me admitting it, I'LL KILL YOU...Sorry...I'm moody right now)**

**(shows BlueEyedFun outside the building in a parkinglot talking to a mysterious guy wearing a hoody jacket to cover up his identity)**

**(both talking secretive)**

**BlueEyedFun: You got the goods?**

**Mystery Guy: Yeah, their right here. (shows her package of Double Stuffed Oreos)**

**BlueEyedFun: GASP!...(hands reaching out) Give it.**

**Mystery Guy: (gives her Double Stuffed Oreos)...Sooo...Am I in, or what?**

**BlueEyedFun: Give me another one and your in.**

**Mystery Guy: Eeer...DEAL! (runs off)...(comes back with other package) (out of breath) Now am I in?**

**BlueEyedFun: Well...Hmmm...(takes package)...One MORE would be nice.**

**Mystery Guy: You know what? How about I bring five more?**

**BlueEyedFun: GASP! OOO! DO THAT!**

**Mystery Guy: (runs off)**

**BlueEyedFun: (smiles evily) Hee hee...I'm gonna ask for ten when he comes back.**


	52. Ch52 La La La

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.52 La La La**

**Me: (talking quietly)...The squirrels, inside the trees, store their nuts...La, la, la...**

**Riku:...What?**

**Me:...La, la, la.**

**Chris: (muffled in Sora's stomach) HELP ME!**

**Sora:...Oh god, I need a donut.**

**Me: I have an announcement to make!**

**Sora: Does it involve donuts?**

**Me:...No...I am moving to another state, and I won't be able to see Andromada anymore, so I am going to make a REAL funny, random chapter!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Yay for the randomness, but no for the moving...(tackles BlueEyedFun) DON'T LEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAVE!**

**Me:...(eyes popping out)...Can't...Breathe. (somehow gets her off) Oh and, yes I know, it's been awhile since I updated, I just have been REAL busy. **

**Riku: (rubs his kitty ears) Wow, their real soft today.**

**"So, how long do you think we'll be walking?" Leon asks.**

**"I don't know." Aeris answers.**

**Suddenly Sora stops walking and stares crazily at them. They all then turn around and see his face.**

**"Uuuh...Sora?" Yuffie is concerned.**

**Sora then rips off his shirt. **

**"I'M SO HORNY!" He yells at the top of his lungs...**

**All of them back away, except for Riku who is bending over on the ground seeing what dirt would taste like.**

**Sora eyes move towards Riku. Riku has no idea whats going on. He stands up and goes to walk towards the light colored dirt to see if it would taste different. Sora does a battle cry and jumps on Riku's back.**

**"I'M SO HORNY!" He repeats himself.**

**Riku only screams and runs around in circles with Sora still on his back.**

**"OMG!" Aeris shouts.**

**"Sora forgot about his weekly masterbation on our adventures!"**

**"No wonder he's acting like this!"**

**Riku then flings Sora into a tree, the tree falls over, and squirrels fall out of the tree. Riku sees the squirrels and his eyes grow wide. He stuffs them one by one in his pants smiling childishly. Sora is laying on the ground half dead. Then walking by them is a doe and her baby deer.**

**"Aaaaaaaaaaw." They all say forgetting about Sora and Riku.**

**"It looks like Bambi!" Yuffie shouts cheerfully.**

**Then Bambi and his mother ran out into a feild.**

**"...Wait...Remember what happened in Bambi?" Cloud asks.**

**They then hear gun shots and they freeze.**

**From a distance they could see two rednecks, eaching holding a beer putting Bambi's mother on top of their truck.**

**"We got em PA!" The shortest one says, while sipping a beer. He looked five years old.**

**"GASP! Where's Bambi?" Leon asks, looking around.**

**They then see Bambi giving the two rednecks money.**

**What they don't show you in Bambi...If you are offended by this somehow, complain to AndromedaGalaxy, her phone number is-**

**JAM! STOP! DON'T TELL!**

**Fine! Just don't sew me for the Bambi thing...No matter how many times you watch the movie, Bambi's mother dies anyway...She had it coming.**

**Yuffie starts to cry.**

**"HOW COULD BAMBI DO THAT!" **

**Bambi then starts to frolick around happily, blowing magic bubbles out his butt.**

**Riku comes back from putting squirrels in his pants, he sees the bubbles and his eyes grow wide. He then starts to run around, popping bubbles. **

**"NO RIKU! THOSE ARE DIRTY BUBBLES!" Shouts Aeris, chasing him with the leash.**

**Materia then starts to shoot out Bambi's butt like a machine gun.**

**"GET DOWN!" Cloud shouts as they all duck...AFLACK!**

**Bambi's eyes glow red and his best friend, the little rabbit, Humper, hops out of the bushes and tries to hump them all. Cloud trips and his leg his constantly humped by Humper.**

**"BUNNIES!" Leon screams with his mouth foaming uncontrollably. **

**He begins to kick Humper across the field.**

**Bambi continues to blow bubbles out his butt, jumping around.**

**Sora sees Humper...O.O. He lays on the ground and waits. **

**The men in black's car then come swirving into the field, while hitting, Humper, then Leon, then Bambi.**

**Sora sees Humper dead.**

**"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He screams at the sky. **

**He then looks at his key blade with his eyes wide.**

**"It's the only way to cure my sickness."**

**CENSORED, CENSORED, CENSORED, CENSORED**

**DISTURBING, DISTURBING, DISTURBING, DISTURBING**

**Leon twitches as he is on the ground. Bambi and Humper are dead.**

**The men in black come out and are then attacked by the two rednecks. Beers are being thrown and special gadgets. **

**Yuffie then runs away into the forest and sees a skunk.**

**"My name is Flower." It says innocently.**

**"...Are you retarded?" She then turns around and runs away.**

**I ask you something...Who names a boy skunk "Flower?" **

**Since the men in black and the red necks are busy fighting, they all sneak off. Soon they are back on the footprints once again.**

**"Hey...We forgot Sora." Cloud mentions.**

**They hear moaning coming from afar.**

**"Let go without him, come on." Aeris says talking real fast and scared trying to push the others to go on.**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Me: Hi! Hope you liked it! I would also like to announce their will be a special guest for the next chapter! **

**AndromedaGalaxy: Is it the hooden figure person?**

**Me:...Maybe...I CAN'T RESIST OREOS! (breaks down)**

**Riku: (plays with kitty ears) Hey, these aren't so bad...OMG! WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME!**

**Sora:...Oooh...FOOD.**

**Chris: (in Sora's stomach) THERE ARE SCARY THINGS IN HERE! AH! THEIR TOUCHING ME!**

**Sora: Sorry, thats my tape worm.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: O.O...(tries to shake Sora) GET HIM OUT OF THERE!**

**Me:...I feel nautious.**


	53. Ch53 Kidnapped

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.53 Kidnapped**

**Me: Hewwos! Today we have a SPECIAL, see me capitalize special, SPECIAL guest.**

**Axel fanperson: I'm not THAT special, got it MEMORIZED?**

**Me: At the end of the chapter Axel fanperson is going to be asked a series of questions...Axel fanperson is his real member name...Just to let you know.**

**Riku:...I wan't my kitty ears off.**

**Me: Why? I thought you loved them...(sniff)**

**Riku: I DO! THATS THE PROBLEM! YOUR MAKING ME GAY!**

**Me: Riku is a gayaphobic, but really he should be gay...(big smile)**

**Riku: I AM NOT!**

**(Real Sora walks in)**

**Sora: GET THAT BLOB THAT IS SUPPOSE TO BE ME, OUT OF HERE!**

**Fat Sora: (vanishes into thin air)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: NO! HE HAD MY BROTHER INSIDE OF HIM!**

**ROFL**

**Sora: lunarxshinobi cloned me.**

**Me: Oooooooooooh.**

**Axel fanperson: Can we start the story?**

**As they all were walking down the blue foot prints, they could still hear the moaning.**

**"MAKE IT STOP!" Shreiks Leon, falling to his knees and pulling his hair.**

**"Someone go make Sora stop moaning like THAT!" Aeris commands.**

**"No one wants to see Sora like that though..." Says Yuffie.**

**The moaning then stops.**

**"Yay! He's done!" Cheers Cloud.**

**Screams are then heard. Everyone then gets scared.**

**"Maybe he's just doing it too hard." Aeris mentions.**

**"Who screams during pleasure?" Yuffie asks.**

**Leon raises his hand.**

**Riku then walks up to Yuffie.**

**"Excuse me while I pee pee on you." He unzips his pants.**

**Yuffie jumps out of the way.**

**"RIKU WHY DON'T YOU DO THAT TO A TREE!" She shouts angry and disgusted.**

**"Tree's are our friends..."**

**"Then what am I?"**

**"A best friend."**

**"So you don't pee on friends, just best friends right?"**

**"...Yes."**

**"No wonder Sora's so disturbed."**

**"Thats it, I'm going to see what's going on." Aeris says unpatiently and walks off the blue foot prints.**

**Later on...**

**"SORA'S GONE!" They hear her shout from afar. The shout is heard around the world. The people who were attacked by Sora's rabid worm, cry a tear of joy and relief. Even the people who invented Kingdom Hearts...Thats kind of how Sora got the lead role...Don't ask me what he did to get it...O-O...Whip cream...Yum...O-O**

**They all ran to where Aeris was and saw just a key blade laying on the ground. Cloud goes to pick it up.**

**"NO! DON'T TOUCH IT!" Yuffie shouts in disgust, covering her eyes.**

**Hey, you know how in the game, the key blade shoots out a beam? Well thats not an ordinary beam...In order for you to understand what I'm talking about...It makes babies...O-O...Sorry...I feel disturbed right now.**

**They all then see bear tracks leading to the blue foot prints.**

**"OMG, Sora got ate by a bear." Aeris says.**

**"Or malested." Cloud then mentions.**

**"The bear probably sensed a disturbance." **

**Soon they continue to follow the blue foot prints to see if it would lead them the way out and to Sora. **

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Me: It's time to ask our special guest some questions!**

**Axel fanperson: Yay...**

**Me: First question...How do you feel about fire?**

**Axel fanperson: It's hot.**

**Me: How do you feel about Roxas?**

**Axel fanperson: He is a best friend who makes me feel great!**

**Me: Is it true your gay?**

**Axel fanperson:...Wait...NO.**

**Me: Yes you are, in the game you said he makes you feel so good inside...INSIDE YOUR PANTS!**

**Axel fanperson: DID NOT!**

**Me: UH HUH!**

**Axel fanperson: NU UH!**

**Me: YOUR JUST AFRAID TO ADMIT IT LIKE SORA AND RIKU! **

**Riku: I'M NOT GAY! (kitty ears twitch from anger)**

**Sora: I'M NOT GAY! (takes his purse and walks off)**

**Me: SEE! THEY ARE GAY!**

**Axel fanperson: Can we move on to the next question?**

**Me: NO! NOT UNTIL YOU ADMIT AXEL IS GAY! (begins to shake him)**

**Axel fanperson: (sobbing uncontrollably) I WANT OUT!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (has heavy wait chained to her ankle)...I know how you feel.**

**Axel fanperson: (gets out of her grasp and runs out)**

**Me: NOOOOOO! COME BACK! (runs after him)**

**Axel fanperson: YOU BEING MEAN TO MEH!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: ROFL!**


	54. Ch54 I'm Gonna Bite Your Nose Off

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.54 I'm Gonna Bite Your Nose Off**

**Me: (comes back dragging Axel fanperson by a rope) YOUR TOO HEAVY!**

**Axel fanperson: (clawing the ground to escape) YOUR OFFENDING MEH!**

**Me:...If you have come this far on my story, then you should already know your going to get offended in any possible way with what I put in my chapters...GET USE TO IT!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: It's funny though. **

**Me: Yeah, in some of my chapters I make fun of myself!**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...It's true.**

**Me: No one is perfect!**

**Riku:...Is this being turned into a lesson?**

**Me:...Yes.**

**Sora: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

**Me:...(ties Axel fanperson to a chair)**

**Axel fanperson: (is scared as hell and tries not to wet his pants)**

**Me:...I just realized something...O-O...It seems like all my reviewers want something from me...**

**Riku: OH GOD! WHAT DO THEY WANT?**

**Me:...NOT LIKE THAT! SHOCK!**

**(Riku's shock collar shocks him)**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...So...What do they want?**

**Me:...O-O...Publicity.**

**As they continue to stroll down the blue foot prints they come across a pink fluffy thing lying in front of them.**

**"OMG? What is that thing?" Yuffie asks.**

**"I don't know, but what ever it is, I'm starved, LETS EAT IT!" Cloud shrieks, but Aeris pulls him back.**

**"No, it could have rabies." She whispers in his ear.**

**The pink thing stands up...**

**"OMG! IT'S A CAREBEAR!" Leon points and shouts crazily.**

**The pink carebear giggles.**

**"HEE! HEE! HEE! You are smart! Einstein Carebear would wuvs YOU!" It hides it's face and blushes.**

**Most of them back away. Yuffie thinks it's real cute and walks up to it.**

**"What's your name and what were you doing lying on the ground?" She asks bending over to it, nose to nose, and smiling.**

**The pink carebear bites her nose off non violently.**

**"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" Yuffie screams and grabs the place where her nose use to be. **

**Her nose grows back. The pink carebear just giggles then talks.**

**"YOU HAVE TWESSPASSED ON OUR WAND AND YOU SHOULD BE DESTROWYED!" It yells at them cutely and angerly while pointing.**

**They just laugh at it.**

**"What are you gonna do?" Leon asks through tears of laughter.**

**"I'm gonna bite youw noses off!" It hollars.**

**They laugh louder.**

**"FWEDDY COUGAR BEAR! ATTACK!" It shrieks and a light green carebear, wearing a Freddy Cougar hat, shirt, and claws jumps down from a tree.**

**Right when they see it, they laugh even louder.**

**"JASON BEAR! ATTACK!" The pink carebear shrieks again and a blue carebear dressed up like Jason appears.**

**They continue to roll around laughing.**

**"MICHAEL JACKSON BEAR! ATTACK!" The pink carebear continues to shriek and a white carebear dressed like Michael Jackson appears.**

**They freeze and stare at it.**

**"Which one of yoos in fiwst?" It asks while doing the moon walk.**

**They run away screaming like little girls. When they get to one part of the forest, carebears of everykind surround them. They all are giggling evily. **

**A Brittany Spears carebear runs around them and farts a horrible green gas. It is so powerful and mind numming, it causes them to pass out. When they opened their eyes, they were all tied to a rocket with many rainbows on it.**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Me: First of all, YES I KNOW IT WAS SHORT...Give me a break...Anyways, Axel fanperson hasn't reviewed yet...Hmmm...He could be either busy, and hasn't read yet, angry because I may have offended him, or he just doesn't care...WAH!**

**Axel fanperson: (still tied to a chair) I BETTA REVIEW!**

**Me:...That sounds so FUNNEH! (breaks down laughing)**

**Sora:...Uuuuh...It wasn't THAT funny.**

**Me:...(stops)...FINE!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: As again, NO JAM DON'T LEAVE! (squeezes BlueEyedFun)**

**Me: AAAAAAAH! YOU WESBIAN! XD**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (still holding on) I LIKE GUYS I'M JUST GONNA MISS YOU!**

**Me:...I know...Sniff...Sniffy...Sniffety sniff sniff...SNIFF SNIFFE-**

**Riku: SHUT UP!**

**Me: SHOCK!**

**(Riku is shocked again)**

**Me:...Sniff.**


	55. Ch55 The Rainbow To Happyness

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.55 The Rainbow To Happyness**

**Me: Hi! AGAIN! As usual, first of all, I forgot to do this in the last chapter, a reader and reviewer of mine, dark sorceress of egypt, has questions for Sora, Riku, Axel, (JUST AXEL, not the imposter who claims he's Axel), and Roxas.**

**(Roxas and the real Axel walks in because Sora and Riku are already here.)**

**Me: She has questions for pairs, Axel and Roxas, and Riku and Sora. She asks to Axel and Roxas, "why don't you guys just admit you wanna go bang each other?"**

**Roxas and Axel:...O-O**

**Me: Same thing for Riku and Sora.**

**Riku and Sora:...O-O**

**Riku: NOOOOO! NEVER EVER!**

**Sora:...(puts head down) Aaaaaaaaaaaaw...**

**Me: Second question, "boxers or briefs?"**

**Axel:...Briefs.**

**Roxas: Briefs.**

**Sora: Briefs.**

**Riku:...FINE...(crosses arms) Briefs.**

**Me: HA HA HA! (rolling on the floor) THEY ALL WHERE BRIEFS! Now...What is the design on those briefs?**

**All:...O-O...NO JAM!**

**Me: FINE! (pouts)**

**"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Screams Yuffie wiggling her legs uncontrollably while tied to the rainbow rocket. **

**She was so scared that she was even kicking her friends tied to the rocket also.**

**"YUFFIE! STOP! OW! STOP! CALM DOWN!" Shouts Cloud angerly who was the main victim of her kicking.**

**She finally tires out and she is tied there, lifeless, breathing heavy.**

**"I WANNA SEE A CAREBEAR!" Squeels Riku, googly eyed.**

**They all look at him funny.**

**"Didn't he know what the carebears even did to us?" Aeris asks.**

**"...Sniff." Leon sniffs, through eyes of tears.**

**"What's wrong with Leon?" Cloud kind of whispers.**

**"SNIFF."**

**"LEON WHAT'S WRONG!" Yuffie shouts unpatiently.**

**"Well...Sniff...When I...When we were back there...Micheal Jackson Bear...Micheal Jackson Bear touched me...In ways that no human being is ever to hear...Just to hear what he has done to me, would make your head explode and make the strongest man in the world cry." Leon says in a light toned scared voice.**

**Riku, who was tied right next to Leon on the rocket, not even paying atttention to what he just said asked, "What'd he do?"**

**Leon then whispers something in his ear, and as he continues, Riku's eyes grow wider and wider. When Leon finished Riku's hair fell out all at once.**

**From a distance they see a crowd of millions of carebears coming their way. The same pink one comes.**

**"Enjoying your stay?" It asks.**

**"Not really, but the scenery is lov-" Cloud was cut off by the pink carebear.**

**"I DIDN'T MEAN IT WIKE THAT YOU WAIRHEAD! I ment as an evil answer...JAWEEZE! GAWD YOUR SO RETAWDED!" **

**Cloud begins to cry because he got his feelings hurt.**

**"LIGHT THE WOCKET!" The pink carebear screams evily.**

**Axel Bear comes from the crowd and shoots flames at the string tied to the rocket.**

**"In thiwty seconds you will be sent to...THE WAINBOW OF HAPPYNESS!" The pink carebear giggles maniacally.**

**"NOOOOO! I DON'T WANNA BE GAY!" Leon shreiks at the top of his lungs.**

**Everyone tied to the rocket begins to panic.**

**"SIWENCE YOU FOOLS!" The pink carebear screams.**

**They do as they are told on the rocket.**

**"YOU SHALL BE SENT TO THE WAINBOW ON HAPPYNESS IN 5, 4, 3, 2-"**

**Right then Super Man Bear flies by, snatching everyone tied to the rocket, and shouts in tune, "Duh, duh, duh, DUH!"**

**Super Man Bear then drops them safely to the ground and destroys all the carebears...To make a long story short. **

**Before Super Man Bear could check up on the gang, they run off back to the blue foot prints while screaming.**

**"OMG! OMG! THAT BEAR HOLDED ME! OMG!" Cloud freaks out.**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Me:...Hewwo!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Suki DA!**

**Me:...I TOLD YOU I DON'T SPEAK JAPANESE!...What did you just say?**

**AndromedaGalaxy: I LOVE YOU!**

**Me:...(backs away)**

**Riku:...Am I suppose to comment?**

**Me:...Maybe. O-O**

**Riku: What's that face for?**

**Me:...What face? O-O**

**Riku: That big eyed face.**

**Me: I don't see a face. O-O**

**Riku: DON'T LIE! IT'S RIGHT T-**

**Me: SHOCK!**

**(Riku is electricuted)**

**Me:...O-O**


	56. Ch56 Torturing Our Guest

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.56 Torturing Our Guest**

**Axel fanperson: (sleeping) (takes a big yawn)**

**Me evily: (sticks a dildo in his mouth while he yawns)**

**Axel fanperson: (wakes up, spits it out, and burns it) What the hell was that for?**

**Me:...You obviously didn't read the title chapter.**

**Axel fanperson: (reads it)...Oh god.**

**Me: MUWAHAHAHAAAAAA!**

**Axel fanperson: Hey, your friend Andromada never had to go through this!**

**Me:...So.**

**Axel fanperson: (pointing) You are EVIL!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Actually she's nice in real life, but in this story...It's a different story. **

**Axel fanperson: (sets a circle of fire around him) DON'T COME NEAR ME!**

**Me:...Okay...Your a FAN, how do you have Axel's powers?**

**Axel fanperson:...(looks at his hands) Hey, I just realized that.**

**Me:...(aims a bow and arrow at his head)**

**Axel fanperson: (flicks his hands at it to catch it on fire, but it doesn't work) Hey, I just did this a second ago.**

**Me:...(smiles big and evily) Your in MY world now.**

**Axel fanperson: (eyes widen and runs away)**

**Me: YOU CAN'T RUN, BUT YOU CAN HIDE!...Wait...(talking to self)...You can run, but you can't hide!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: How could you mess that up?**

**Me:...Sniff...I don't know...If you haven't noticed yet, this isn't a real chapter.**

**(Camera man with Axel fanperson)**

**Axel fanperson: (hides in the oven)**

**Me: (runs up behind the camera man and tackles him to the ground) GRRRRRRRRR!**

**Axel fanperson: (watching while inside the oven) O-O**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (turns on the oven)**

**Camera man: HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!**

**Axel fanperson: RUN CAMERA MAN! RUN! (starts to sweat then realizes something) (starts to bang on the oven to get out) LET ME OUT!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (feels guilty and lets him out) I'm sorry, that was horrible.**

**Me: (ripping the camera man to shreds)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: JAM! Those guys cost MONEY!**

**Axel fanperson: (runs away)**

**Me: (gets on hands and feet and runs after him like something from Resident Evil)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (calls 911)...Hello?...Yes...I have a disturbed friend here, attacking an innocent guest in her story...Yeah...Um, well were in a run down building across from Wall Mart...Yes...You'll have animal control right on it?...Thank you, bye. (hangs up)**

**Me: (comes up behind Andromada and then screams are heard)**

**Axel fanperson: (running towards the exit door, then a puppet on a tricycle drives in front of him slowly, laughing) O-O**

**Puppet: Hello there, Axel fanperson. Let's play a game. **

**Axel fanperson: (runs away screaming knowing what would happen)**

**Puppet: WAIT! I WAS JUST GOING TO PLAY TIC-TAC-TOE AND SHOW YOU THE WAY OUT OF HERE!**

**Axel fanperson: (runs into a closet and slams the door breathing heavily) (looks around and sees immigrant children sewing) What da?**

**Immigrant children: GO NOW! GO! BEFORE SHE CATCHES YOU AND YOU END UP LIKE US!**

**Axel fanperson: (runs out the door and BlueEyedFun is standing there, right in front of him, menacingly) **

**Me: Miss me?**

**Axel fanperson: (too scared to move and pants become wet)**

**Riku: (comes up behind them eating Frito's like it's a normal day) (talking with his mouth full) Hey, um, is it okay for us to come out now? (sees Axel fanperson's wet spot) Oh...I guess it's not. (walks away continuing to stuff his mouth)**

**Me: (ignoring Riku) No one can save you now...**

**Axel fanperson: (too scared to talk)**

**Me: (ties him to a chair)**

**Axel fanperson: (screaming uncontrollably)**

**Me: MUWAHAHAAAAAA!**

**Axel fanperson: What-what-what-what are you planning to do! (wet spot continues to get bigger)**

**Me: I am going to...(holds celery out to his mouth) FEED YOU THIS!**

**Axel fanperson: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

**Me: But celery is GOOD for you. (takes bite of celery)**

**Axel: NOOO! GET THAT GREEN THING OF DOOM AWAY FROM MEH! (struggles to get free)**

**Me: (shoves celery in his mouth) Gawd, I am reading over this and I am EVIL...Daaaaang...It's fun.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (appears wrapped in bubble wrap and has pillow tied to the top of her head) (attacks BlueEyedFun with a plastic spoon)**

**Me: (falls over unconsience)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (unties Axel fanperson) **

**Axel fanperson: Thank you SO MUCH!**

**Animal Control: (captures BlueEyedFun in a butterfly net and puts her in a doggy cage) (walks out of there) La, la, la, la, la, la...(screams are then heard)**

**Me: (comes back running covered in red stuff)**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...OMG! JAM! WHAT DID YOU DO!**

**Me: What? He attacked me with ketchup once I knawed through the bars.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Ooooooooh...**

**Axel fanperson: (pants wet all over and traumatized)**

**Me: Well, he is tortured enough...(sigh) It was fun while it lasted...GUESS WHAT!**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...What?**

**Me: I am going to answer my reader's questions! (cheery)**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...Huh?**

**Me: Heres what I am planning to do. (looks directly into the camera) Fellow readers, of any kind. I am going to let you ask, any question, to anyone in this story. It can be anything you want to ask. What I am going to do, is that during "Talking With Sora" I am going to ask five questions, telling who it's for, and who it's from, then ask five questions more, after the story. You are only aloud to the amount of three questions or under. Why am I doing this? Because I want to. Remember it can be to ANYONE in this story.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Can I ask you a question Jam?**

**Me: Yes you can. **

**AndromedaGalaxy: Is it true you sleep with Sponge Bob? (breaks down laughing)**

**Me:...Yes...It's true. (looks down shamefully)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (laughs even louder)**

**Me: IT'S A GIANT PLUSHIE/PILLOW! And I CUDDLE IT!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: ROFL!**

**Axel fanperson: (still traumatized)**


	57. Ch57 To The Aeris Mobile

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.57 To The Aeris Mobile**

**Me: HI! Sorry it took me so long to update! I have had alot of things going on with the moving and everything. I would also like to say...All my reviewers who didn't ask questions...(glares)...And just put "HA! HA! HA! THAT WAS FUNNY!"...You guys...SUCK!...Please don't send a hate review! (hides face) I didn't mean it! I hate hate reviews...(glares) But I am going to make it three questions, instead of five for each time we do, "Talking With Sora."**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...Are we going to ask questions now?**

**Axel fanperson: Yeah, are we?**

**Me: Sure! But FIRST! I want to share a song!**

**Sora: YAY!**

**Me: There's this one short song, and it's real cute, I am going to SING IT! **

**Riku:...Yay?**

**Me: Do we like waffles? Yeah we like waffles! Do we like pancakes? Yeah we like pancakes! Doo doo-doo-doo, can't wait to get a mouth full!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: I love that song! **

**Me: I made a new version of it too!...And please forgive me, I was high on something at the time. Probably markers.**

**Axel fanperson:...Uuuuuuuuuh...(reads his notecard)...Axel fanperson asks what is it...**

**Me: I would like to first say...This song is dedicated to all the fish, that have died in Andromada's house.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: SING and don't remind me!**

**Me: (takes deep breath) Do we like wieners? Yeah we like wieners! Do we like blow jobs? Yeah we like blow jobs! Doo doo-doo-doo, can't wait to get a mouth full! D**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (rolling on the floor laughing her ass off) (between breaths) JAM! JAM! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SANG THAT!**

**Sora: Hell YEAH we do! (big innocent smile)**

**Me: OMG! SORA! (falls to her knees laughing)**

**Riku:...I feel deeply disturbed...But at the same time, happy inside.**

**Axel fanperson:...Uuuuuuh...(reads his notecard again) Axel fanperson laughs, ha, ha, ha...**

**Me: Okay, now time for-**

**Sora: My blow job! (bigger smile)**

**Me: EW SORA! NO!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (laughing and shocked) Why is he saying this stuff!**

**Me:...O-O...OMG! MY SONG MADE HIM HORNEH! **

**AndromedaGalaxy: ROFL!**

**Axel fanperson: (looks at his notecard once again)...Axel fanperson says I am too...NO I'M NOT! (burns the notecard)...Well...Maybe.**

**Me: (calming down) Okay, now time for questions. These first three are from AndromedaGalaxy herself.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: First question is for Jam. Is it true you sent me perverted pictures of Sora and Riku doing things that are not ment for an innocent child like me to see?**

**Me:...Hee hee.**

**Riku: WHAT!**

**Me:...Yes! I'm GUILTY!...But you admitted you enjoyed them. **

**Sora:...Is there anyway I can see those pictures? (eyes grow wide)**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...Maybe. Second question is for Squall.**

**Squall: (walks in) Yay! A QUESTION!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Is it true Rinoa dissapeared? It should be true because I locked her in my torture chamber and my imaginary friend Arella had fun with her new toys, such as her brand new chainsaw...And then we had an accident...Well...Let's just say you'll never see Rinoa again...Well, let's pretend I didn't say anything.**

**Leon:...Meep...(paralized with fear)**

**Riku:...Oh god.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (turns back to cheery self from sad self abnormally) Last QUESTION! This one is for Sora and Riku.**

**Sora: Yay!...Or...It could be bad.**

**Riku:...It's gonna be bad.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Is it true Kairi caught both of you in bed together last Christmas, having a bit too much Christmas spirit, if you know what I mean? (wink wink)**

**Riku:...SHE KNEW?**

**Me: (pointing at Riku crazily) AH HA! YOU ADMITTED IT! YOU ADMITTED YOUR GAY! FINALLY! PROOF!**

**Riku:...Na uh...OKAY! I'M NOT GAY!...(looks down sadly) Too much eggnog.**

**Sora:...I thought I was in bed with Kairi...(looks at Riku scaredly)**

**Riku:...Uuum, uuu-**

**Me: HIT PUT SOMETHING IN YOUR EGGNOG!**

**Riku: SHUT UP! NO I DIDN'T! (angry)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: I got my questions answered! (big smile)**

**Me: Well, I'm going to start the story now, about time.**

**Axel fanperson: Hooray! (throws confetti in the air)**

**Me: What the f-(censored)**

**As they continued along the path they all huffed and puffed, and soon complained.**

**"I waaaannaaaaaa REST!" Yuffie says in a whiny voice.**

**"Shuuut uuuuuuuuuup." Cloud says back to her in a whiny voice, mocking her.**

**Leon smacks Cloud.**

**"Don't mock ma women foo!"**

**"OW! FINE!"**

**"My feet are sore." Aeris said plainly and tiredly.**

**"My butt is sore." Riku said just like her.**

**"Riku how could your butt be sore if you have been walking the whole time?" Yuffie's eyes widen.**

**"I tripped and fell on a twig, and it hurt my hiney!" Riku has an angry, constepaded look on his face.**

**"Who uses the word hiney anymore?" Cloud asks.**

**A voice is heard from the sky.**

**"Andromada."**

**Another voice is heard.**

**"NO I DON'T!"**

**"I know, you don't, I was just kidding...CONTINUE! I intterupted the story, CRAP!"**

**They all just look at the sky wierdly.**

**"I have an idea!" Aeris shouts happily.**

**"WHAT?" They all say in unison, except for Riku who said "chicken butt" afterwards.**

**"OKAY! THATS IT!" Aeris shouts and throws a rock at Riku's head. **

**"OW!" He cries painfully and childishly then falls to the ground.**

**"AERIS! WHAT DID YOU DO!" Yuffie shrieks pulling her hair.**

**"WHAT? I was trying to help..."**

**"And you did! THANK YOU SO MUCH-Now can we eat him?" Yuffie's eye begins to twitch.**

**"Uuuuh...Noooo...I was trying to make him become normal again, thats why I threw the rock at his head."**

**"YOU WEREN'T GONNA COOK HIM?"**

**"What is with you and EATING PEOPLE?"**

**Leon smacks Aeris.**

**"Don't talk to ma woman like that foo!"**

**Cloud smacks Leon.**

**"Don't smack ma woman foo!" **

**Why the hell are they talking like that?**

**Yuffie grabs Leon's shoulder.**

**"It's okay Leon, you don't have to defend me." She smiles at him.**

**He smiles back.**

**She begins to salt his arm...O-O...Riku then gets up, rubbing his head.**

**"Ooooooooooow...Where are we?"**

**Aeris talks super fast and tells him everything.**

**"...You lost me at Riku." He says.**

**"Well...Your normal right?"**

**Riku examines himself.**

**"Why shouldn't I be?"**

**"YAY! Now you can help me with my idea!"**

**"What's the idea?" Cloud asks.**

**"Well..."**

**Scene shows Aeris's head.**

**"COME ON GUYS! PULL! Were almost there!"**

**Scene backs up and it shows Aeris sitting in a wagon and everyone with a rope tied around their waist, pulling her and the wagon...Like I said before, Aeris weighs alot more than she looks. The footprints then lead to a cliff. They think nothing of it and pull the wagon along the cliff. Aeris eats a potato chip and the wagon breaks. It surprised everyone so much that they accidently jumped off the cliff.**

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Me: I GOT CENSORED! (eye twitches)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: ROFL!**

**Me: First of all-YES I KNOW THE STORY PART WAS SHORT! GET OVER IT!...(turns to happy self) The next one will be funny and longer. I promise...**

**Axel fanperson: OOO! I have QUESTIONS! (waving hand like crazy in the air)**

**Me: Yes, we have six more questions, three from two people...No MORE QUESTIONS! Because hardly any people ask, and I wanna update! So...My reviewers...Don't send questions...The ones who didn't, keep doing what your already doing.**

**Axel fanperson: Can I ask mine first!**

**Me:...Okay! **

**Axel fanperson: Okay...First question for Sora.**

**Sora: (head perks up)**

**Axel fanperson: How does your hair defy gravity?**

**Sora:...O-O...I don't know...GASP!**

**Axel fanperson:...Okay...This question is for Riku.**

**Riku: (glares)**

**Axel fanperson: Why is your hair already grey?**

**Riku: (glares more)...It's silver.**

**Sora: NOO! Your just old! (big smile)**

**Riku: (punches Sora in the face and Sora falls on his back, knocked out cold)**

**Axel fanperson: (scoots away from Riku)...Last question is for Cloud.**

**Cloud: (walks in the room eating cerial) Huh?**

**Axel fanperson: How do you hold that flippin, huge sword?**

**Cloud: Why, thank you...Well, you see it's all in the hands, you need to have the right grip and right friction-**

**Axel fanperson: (nods as Cloud continues)**

**Me:...(looking around confused and innocently)...We are talking about the same thing right?**

**Cloud: (finishes and walks out eating his cerial)**

**Axel fanperson: I got pointers! **

**Me: (gags)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (laughing her head off)**

**Me: Okay, next three set of questions is from lunarxshinobi...Lets bring her on down! (sounds like a talk show host)**

**lunarxshinobi: (walks in smiling) First question is for...SORA!**

**Sora: (wakes up) Yay! (claps his hands)**

**lunarxshinobi: Do you want your diary back? You left it behind the couch.**

**Sora: No thank you. (still having his big smile)**

**lunarxshinobi: Second question for...RIKU! Do you want YOUR diary back? I mean, it's been there for months now. I've memorized it. I'll prove it...July 14, today I stared at Sora's ass for an hour. Kairi caught me and gaped at me for an hour. Then I walked away to write this-See? I told you I memorized it!**

**Riku: (slaps his forehead angerly) NO! I DON'T WANT IT BACK!**

**lunarxshinobi: Third question is for Cloud.**

**Cloud: (comes back in eating his cerial paranoid) Let me eat in peace!**

**lunarxshinobi: Do you want your sword back? I'm done beating the living hell out of Sephiroth for owing me money with it.**

**Cloud...Sure! (smiling)**

**Me: (hiding hand in front of her face, shaking head) This is SO wrong...**

**lunarxshinobi: Last question is for Leon.**

**Leon: (comes in scared)**

**lunarxshinobi: You still owe me twenty bucks. Can you pay it?**

**Leon:...N-**

**lunarxshinobi: (takes out a gun and shoots him in the head)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (screams) NOT SQUALLYPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

**Me:...O-O**

**lunarxshinobi: (smiles and looks at BlueEyedFun) Hey, is there any chance I can be a guest st-**

**Me: NO! (kicks her out the door and locks it) We do not kill the characters! AND THAT WAS FOUR QUESTIONS!...Oh and yes, your still my friend.**

**Axel fanperson:...(shaking)...Can I go home now?**


	58. Ch58 Andromada's Moment Of Fame

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.58 Andromada's Moment Of Fame**

**Me: GUESS WHAT EVERYONE! (jumping up and down)**

**Sora:...What?**

**Me: (singing) Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to YOU! Happy birthday dear ANDROMADA! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOO YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

**Sora: Yay! It's my birthday!**

**Me: NOT YOU! ANDROMADA, YOU RETAWD!**

**Sora:...Sniff.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Thank you Jam!**

**Me: Your welcome! It is November 6th 2006! I even made this on her birthday! YAY! She is now officially...13! Wanna know your present?**

**AndromedaGalaxy: What?**

**Me:...Well I mentioned it before, and you told me never to get it for you. (pulls out a dead squirrel that was stuffed and is in a position) (squirrel is standing up, waving with one hand, has other hand grabbing it's crouch, and has big smile on face)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (screams) OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! YOU ACTUALLY GOT IT! I THOUGHT YOU WERE KIDDING! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! (hides under a table)**

**Me: (puts it by Andromada's bedside facing her)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: I AM NOT KEEPING THAT! (pointing crazily at it under the table)**

**Riku: (walks in and sees the squirrel)...(stares at it for long periods of time in shock)**

**Axel fanperson: (comes in after Riku and sees it)...(shocked at first and then falls over laughing)**

**Me:...Sniff...This squirrel was once a living thing. (scene does close up on freaky squirrel)...But who would want that to be living? Scare the crap out of you if it was out your window.**

**Sora: (goes up to the squirrel)...SQUIRREL! SQUIRRELY! (big smile on face and pokes it)**

**Me: Also theirs more! **

**AndromedaGalaxy: (comes out from under the table slowly) What?**

**Me:...Well, it was hard to stuff a dead elephant and get him to do the same th-**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (screams and locks herself in her torture chamber with the parts of Rinoa still there to keep her company)**

**Jam: Theres two more presents.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (coming from the chamber) Nice ones? Not horny, scary ones looking at me when I turn over at night or wake up in the morning?**

**Jam: No, one of them is right now.**

**They all continue to fall and scream towards their doom, except Aeris who was not affected by this accident, and continued to eat her beloved potato chips. Down out of no where, Andromada appears. She builds a trampoline out of the things around her super fast. Everyone lands to safety and bounces off on the ground.**

**"Yay! YOUR ALIVE!" She shouts in the air with joy.**

**"Wow, that trampoline is really bouncy, what did you make it out of?" Cloud asks, testing it with his hand.**

**"Well I used mostly twigs and some elactisity stuff I found on the ground, but the main ingrediant is manuer."**

**"SO THAT'S WHAT SMELLS!" Yuffie shouts.**

**"I thought Riku just farted again." Cloud says.**

**"...I thought I farted too." Riku said after Cloud surprised.**

**"We need to get back up to Aeris." Leon says while looking up at the cliff.**

**Andromada stares at Leon in shock. Leon looks at her back in shock. **

**"I LOVE Y-" Goes to hug him, but then stops.**

**"I forgot you smell like manuer...But I love you ANYWAYS!"**

**"So, what are you here for?" Yuffie asks with her hands on her hips curiously.**

**"I came to keep you guys out of trouble and head on the right track, because it seems you guys are never gonna get to the Bear's house to find Sora and get out."**

**"...True." Most of them murmered.**

**Andromada then presses a button and her magic helicopter appears and carries them back up to the cliff. Aeris waves, still sitting in the broken wagon, eating potato chips. Andromada lands the helicopter and lets them all off and the helicopter dissapears.**

**"WHY COULDN'T WE JUST TAKE THE HELICOPTER!" Leon shouts furiously with his mouth wide open.**

**"YOU ARE TO SPEAK WHEN I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO SPEAK!" Andromada shouts like a drill sargeant, appears in an army uniform, with a giant ruler...FEAR the ruler...Ruler go SMACK!...Blood go SPLASH!...Victims go WAH!...Sorry...You do not know the things I have seen people do with rulers. O-O**

**"Huh?" Leon mumbles confusely.**

**Andromada smacks Leon in the butt hard with the ruler, "YOU HEARD ME LEON, PRIVATE!...Parts." She gets a devious smile on her face.**

**Leon gets scared then speaks.**

**"WHAT?"**

**"Nothing...You sexy beast."**

**Leon hides behind Yuffie. Yuffie actually growls and snarls at Andromada.**

**"These clothes are uncomfy." Andromada says. **

**She then takes off her clothes and changes right in front of them...O-O...Yoda appears. He then begins to speak depressingly.**

**"Lonely I am...Hold me, no one not...Kiss me, no one not...No love for me...Born from toilet I am."**

**They all tear up.**

**"He's so ugly, it burns and I want to cry!" Aeris gets out through her sobbing.**

**Yoda jumps off the cliff and commits suicide and his green blood splatters across the ground.**

**They all scream in terror.**

**"NOOOOOO! HE MADE THE GROUND UGLY!" Yuffie shreiks.**

**Poor Yoda...It's not his fault he came out of a human butt and the chemical in the toilet mutated him...Stupid people forget to FLUSH! Do you ever wonder what happens to the poop if you have a certain chemical in that toilet? I will tell you, everyone, who was born from this.**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**SpongeBob Squarepants**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Your mom**

**Yoda **

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Your face**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**My brain**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Riku's mom**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Micheal Jackson**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**50's moms**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**Yoda**

**All the mommy's in the world, except mine, because she's the prettiest, and that if she were to find my chapters, she would take it easy on me if she read this part.**

**I'm sorry to interrupt the story, but I have to say something funny...My mom was straightning my lamp in my room, and she kept asking "Is this straight?" And I went, "Yes mom it is, leave it alone." She finally asked one more time, "Is this straight?" And I said "No mom it's GAY." Then she said, "YOUR GAY!" And I laughed my head off, my mom never said something like that BEFORE! She sounds like one of my friends. Okay, NOW we can continue the story.**

**"You know what, Jam already took some of the story, I better just bring you to the Bear's house, thanks ALOT JAM!"**

**I DIDN'T MEAN TOO! I just have so much to SAY! But the next present will be better...WAY better.**

**"...YAY! HURRY EVERYONE!" She shoves everyone into her magic helicopter filled with delicious strawberries, whipcream, and wonderous activities...Cough...Then flies off towards the house.**

**She slaps Leon's butt before he gets out one more time. She winks at him and he just looks back at her scaredly. Once their out of sight she flies up towards the mountains, gets out her Squall Leon Hart blow up doll, then gets out the whipcream and strawberries...Duh-duh-duh-DUH! **

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Me: Okay, your next present is...**

**AndromedaGalaxy: HURRY JAM! I WANNA KNOW!**

**Me: To ressurect Leon from the DEAD! (jumps in the air happily)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (joins her)**

**Me: (drags dead Leon by a rope and gets a book) (whispers words off of it and he comes back to life)**

**Leon: (wakes up) I'M ALIVE AGAIN!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (hugs him and dances with him)**

**Leon: AAAAAAAH! KILL ME! I TAKE IT BACK! KILL ME PLEASE!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (begins to unbutton his shirt as he screams) What did you read Jam?**

**Me: (repeats what she read) I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world, it's fantastic, cause I'm plastic...(simple beat comes on)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (runs up to BlueEyedFun and stands next to her, standing in front of everyone)**

**Me: (drops book and faces everyone, standing beside her too)**

**AndromedaGalaxy and Me: (beat turns into Barbie Girl song and they sing) I'm a BARBIE GIRL! In a barbie WORLD! It's FANTASTIC! Cause I'm PLASTIC!**

**(whole world sings along)**

**Everyone: (does the Macaranga while singing) COME ON BARBIE LETS GO PARTY! AH! AH! AH! COME ON BARBIE LETS GO PARTY! DOO-DOO-DOO! DOO-DOO-DOO!**

**Sora: (sings along) I'M A BARBIE GIRL! IN A BARBIE WOOOOOOOOORLD!**

**Axel fanperson: Well...If the whole world is doin it. (sings along too)**

**Riku: (covering his ears) I HATE ALL OF YOU!**


	59. Ch59 Bear In The Big Blue House

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.59 Bear In The Big Blue House**

**Me: Note, "Bear In The Big Blue House" is a kiddie show...If you have never heard of it before...Then...CONGRATULATIONS! You have a LIFE! Oh and yes, I know I haven't updated in a long time, GET OVER IT!**

**Sora: YAY!**

**Me: I would like to say something else...I SAID NO MORE QUESTIONS!**

**Axel fanperson: Whoops!**

**Me: It's okay, I'll answer them anyway.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: YAY!**

**Me: Okay, Axel fanperson asks his first, because he is a guest star.**

**Axel fanperson: YAY-Okay, first question is for Yuffie.**

**Yuffie: (walks in) Uh huh! What is it!**

**Axel fanperson: Ninja's are awesome right?**

**Yuffie: (eye twitches insanely) NINJA'S ARE MORE THAN AWESOME! THEY ARE INVINCIBLE, POWERFUL, IMMORTAL, ELITE, PEOPLE WHO CAN KICK ASS AND-**

**Me: (shoots Yuffie with a tranquilizer gun) Please don't say ninja around her...**

**Yuffie: NINJA! (leg twitches and she falls asleep)**

**Axel fanperson:...Okaaaaay...Next question is for AndromedaGalaxy.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: YAY! A QUESTION! (big smile)**

**Axel fanperson: Why do you hang out with Jam?**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Cuz she is my FRIEND! (still has big smile)**

**Me: And I pay her!**

**Axel fanperson: Last question...This one is for Jam.**

**Me:...O-O Wee!**

**Axel fanperson: Why did you put the barbie song of doom in the last chapter?**

**Me:...Cause...It's my ringtone on my cellphone.**

**Axel fanperson: O-O**

**Me: I'll sing it ag-**

**Axel fanperson: Please don't.**

**Me: Okay, next set of questions is from fuzzynavaljewelry.**

**fuzzynavaljewelry: (walks in with questions) HI! OKAY! First question is for CLOUD!**

**Cloud: (walks in) MORE QUESTIONS! GAWD! I am too cool! (smirks)**

**Me:...No your not.**

**Cloud: (glares)**

**fuzzynavaljewelry: What happened to your frikin, sweet wing you had in Chain of Memories? That was shiznit!**

**Cloud:...I ATE IT. (licks his lips)**

**Me:...What the hell?**

**AndromedaGalaxy: ROFL!**

**fuzzynavaljewerly:...OKAY! Second question. Cloud again. What kind of cerial were you eating in the last chapter? It didn't happen to be crunchy nuts, did it?**

**Leon at his house: (senses a disturbance)**

**Cloud: No, it was Cheerios.**

**Me: He only got it because there was a free kalidoscope in every box.**

**Cloud:...Well...There use to be. (rubs his throat)**

**fuzzynavaljewerly: OUWCH...Okay, last question is for Sora.**

**Sora: Yayums! (grins) **

**Riku: DON'T SAY THAT! (hits Sora over the head) It's gay!**

**Sora: (rubs tears from eyes angerly) Well, YOUR GAY!**

**Riku: GASP!...Take...That...BACK.**

**Sora:...NO.**

**Riku: (tackles Sora)**

**Me:...O-O (takes pictures)**

**fuzzynavaljewerly: BREAK IT UP! I'm frikin asking questions!**

**Riku: (gets off of Sora)**

**Sora: (stands up)**

**fuzzynavaljewerly: Did you use protection in chapter 52?**

**Me: NOTE: That was the chapter Sora used his keyblade/dildo.**

**Sora: Okay, FIRST OF ALL! That isn't the real me, and it's NOT A DILDO! And no, I didn't.**

**Me: Sora is gonna get PREGNANT!**

**Sora: I AM A GUY! (angry look on face)**

**Me: Bye FUZZYNAVALJEWERLY!**

**fuzzynavaljewerly: BYE! (walks out)**

**Me: Storeh time!**

**They all looked at the house dumb-founded. The house was two stories, painted all blue, and had a flower garden along it.**

**"This is one gay-ass house." Cloud says looking up at it.**

**"Well, I like it!" Aeris tells him, defending the house.**

**Riku walks up to the steps of the front porch and the others soon follow. Riku goes to ring the doorbell, then hesitates.**

**"COME ON! Ring it! We don't got all day!" Yuffie calls out impatiently.**

**Riku finally speaks.**

**"Guys...What if...The bear who stole Sora is...A rapist."**

**"Like...MICHEAL JACKSON BEAR!" Leon shouts out in pain and fear, covering his face with his hands.**

**"So...Much...Pain...In...BUTT!" Leon backs away having an astma attack and a mental break down at the same time.**

**When he calms down, Riku then just ringed the doorbell.**

**Inside the house.**

**Bear stood up from the sofa as he heard his doorbell ring. He talked in a gentle, sweet, kind voice.**

**"I wonder if all my friends came back."**

**He walks up to his door, opens it, and sees Leon, Cloud, Yuffie, Riku, and Aeris. Before they could talk he closes the door and begins to walk towards his closet.**

**"My, what colorful people." And he opens his closet, reaching for his shotgun.**

**Outside the house.**

**"...God, I almost crapped in my pants when I saw that bear." Cloud says with his eyes opened wide.**

**"We didn't need to know that Cloud." Riku mentions while scooting away.**

**Yuffie then starts to ring the doorbell more, and soon the door opens with the bear, standing there aiming his shotgun at them angerly.**

**"GET OFF MY LAWN YOU MOTHAFUCKERS!" He yells harshly and begins to shoot at them.**

**What the hell happened to the other bear?**

**"OH CRAP! NOW I CRAPPED IN MY PANTS!" Cloud freaks out.**

**They all duck and jump in the bushes screaming, except for Cloud and Leon, who decided to be brave, and took out their weapons. The gunblade and Cloud's freakishly, huge sword. The bear begins to fire more, but Cloud blocks the bullets as Leon goes for an areal attack. The bear soon runs out of bullets and runs inside.**

**Riku runs up and kicks down the door.**

**"FREEZE! L.A.P.D!" He shouts in a deep voice.**

**L.A.P.D means Los Angelos Police Department, but in this case means, Loony Anime People Damn.**

**The bear sees them all charge in and calls out madly.**

**"Loony, anime people, DAMN!" He then runs into the basment. They all run after him and Riku kicks the basement door down.**

**They see Sora tied to a chair watching a T.V. screen, his eyes opening in shock and a tired, heavy duty expression on his face. It turns out he was forced to watch the same episode of "Friends" over and over again.**

**"I'll be there for yooooo...I'll be there for you tooooo..." He mumbles softly in tune.**

**"Oh no! Sora!" Yuffie shouts out worringly.**

**Leon turns to the bear.**

**"You MONSTER!"**

**"Give us SORA BACK!" Cloud calls to the bear angerly.**

**"Not unless you battle me." He says calmy, but daringly.**

**"DEAL!" Leon and Cloud shout out at the same time.**

**The bear pulls out a pair of nunchucks and flings it around.**

**"Cue my theme song!" He calls out spinning the nunchucks into the air.**

**The song "I'm A Slave" by Britney Spears comes on.**

**The bear begins to dance sexily to it...Sorry...For some strange, bizzaar, sick reason, I got turned on...Don't worry, an episode of Mr. Rogers will cure it.**

**"Oh, god, thats it." Cloud then throws rope around the bear, Leon ties the rope, and they swing the bear into the wall.**

**Aeris and Yuffie untie Sora and Yuffie destroys the T.V. and the Nintendo 64 attached to it.**

**"DAMN YOU NINTENDOOOOOOOOOO!" **

**Aeris was just playing Nintendogs on her Nintendo handheld and looks at Yuffie. **

**"What's wrong with Nintendo?"**

**Yuffie snatches the handheld away from her and kills her puppy.**

**"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Aeris cries out and falls to her knees.**

**"Woofy just got housebroken...Sniff...WHY YOU DO THAT TO POOR WOOFY!"**

**"Because Nintendo is evil..."**

**"WHY?"**

**"I keep losing on Mario."**

**"...I HATE YOU!"**

**"Okay, fine, I'll bring Woofy back." Yuffie then brings Woofy back from the dead, but un housebreaks him and gives him a case of dyeria.**

**"...You know what, just put him to sleep, I don't want him anymore." **

**(Back to talking with Sora)**

**Me: HEWWO! I would like to discuss something, with one of my readers and reviewers, dark sorceress of egypt. She wondered if I would make Riku, Sora, Roxas, Axel, Cloud, Leon, Zexion, and Demyx have a huge ass gangbang...**

**Riku: (gagging)**

**Sora:...(faints)**

**Axel fanperson:...Hell no.**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...OMFG!**

**Me:...Yeah I know, she said we would be rich...Hee hee...Well, I thought about it, so...Let's do it! I made some plans on how to make it happen...Okay...First of all we have a total of 1,000 dollars to make this happen. We need to get some drugs and alcohol to make them do it, so we buy plane tickets to East L.A to get the drugs and alcohol, the flight will cost us 300 dollars, so we only have 700 dollars left, buy some good drugs and alcohol for only 100 dollars, 600 dollars left, fly to Japan to shoot everything and find the characters, for 500 dollars, 100 dollars left, go to the BestBuy there and buy a camera for 50 dollars, 50 dollars left, rent a hotel for one night, 45 dollars, 5 dollars left, then gather the anime characters up, put the drugs in the alcohol, give them the drinks, then wait to see what happens with the camera rolling. Then, we'll make copy of the tapes, and start selling them on the street, raise enough money to go global, and there we go! The perfect family movie!**

**Axel fanperson:...Why did I ask to be on here again?**

**Riku:...How do you know that theres good drugs and alcohol in East L.A?**

**Me:...Because...I know a person.**

**(Scene shows an alley in East L.A with Vincent Valentine in a hoody, selling PCP to random people, mostly anime characters from the show "Fruit Baskets")**

**Me:...I don't trust those characters. (glares)**


	60. Ch60 A Lap Dance From Chuck

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.60 A Lap Dance From Chuck**

**Me: ANDROMADA! Guess what? **

**AndromedaGalaxy:...What?**

**Me: A birthday delivery came in! (throws confetti in the air)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: YAY-It's not another squirrel, is it? (eyes grow wide with fear and terror)**

**Me: NO! It's from lunarxshinobi, she sent you PRESENTS!**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...It's not squirrels, is it?**

**Me:...No, LEON STUFF!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (jumping up and down like she won the lottery) OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OM-**

**Axel fanperson: (throws a coconut and AndromedaGalaxy's head) Mix THAT with yo LIME!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (hit with coconut and cries)**

**Me: (forces celery down Axel fanperson's throat)**

**Axel fanperson: NOOOOOOOOOOO! (gag, gag, choke, gag)**

**Me: Okay, lunarxshinobi got you...Leon's journel! A photo album of Leon! A taser collar, with a leash, and voice commands! And a cage if you want it!**

**Leon at his house again:...(senses another disturbance and shivers)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (squeels with delight and glee) I'LL TAKE THE CAGE TOO! THANK YOU LUNARXSHINOBI!**

**Me:...You know what...(gets suspicious look on face)...She's bribing US! (gets rabid, crazed, look on face)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! IT'S NOT TRUE! (pulls her hair)**

**Me: (runs to the door quickly and puts ten locks on it, and sprays lunarxshinobi anti-spray on it)...THERE! (the door now smells like gasoline oil and Kairi juice)...Oh crap, I just diturbed myself.**

**Sora:...May you spray some of that on me?**

**Me: To protect you from lunarxshinobi?**

**Sora: No, she's nice...I just want to be sprayed for the Kairi juice...Pwease.**

**Me:...(sprays the spray in his eyes)**

**Sora: AAAAH! IT BURNS!**

**Axel fanperson:...I'm lonely...Sniff.**

**Me: Hey, where did Riku go? (looks around)**

**(scene shows Riku running down the street for his life, his kitty ears flopping in the wind)**

**Me: SHOCK! SHOCK! SHOCK! (looking around)**

**Riku: (gets shocked three times while running and falls to the ground in the middle of the street)...Ooooh...(four cars and a tricycle run over him)...DAMN! That was the fatest, heaviest kid on a tricycle I have EVER SEEN!**

**Me:...I wost meh Wiku!**

**The bear wakes up and he is tied to a chair, in the dark base ment, with a giant light, pointing right at him. He moans and sees Leon and Cloud standing in front of him.**

**"TELL US! Where do we go NEXT!" Cloud yells angerly at him.**

**"Huh? Go where?"**

**"TELL US OR WE WILL GANG BANG YOU!" Shrieks Leon at the top of his longs, having his hands on his zipper.**

**Cloud looks at Leon like he's crazy.**

**"Ew man, no."**

**Leon just looks down sadly.**

**Cloud turns back to the bear.**

**"How do we get OUT of these woods, back to Hollow Bastion!"**

**"...Um-um...Uuuuuuuuuuh."**

**Cloud then pulls out the mighty and ole wonderful pimp stick, and begins to knock the bear upside the head with it.**

**"I AM A HOOKER, BUT I DO NOT APPROVE OF THIS!" The bear shouts out paranoidly.**

**Everybody gets quiet.**

**Sora appears behind the bear and slips a dollar bill in his fur.**

**"...A little something for your troubles." He whispers. He then backs away in the darkness.**

**Then all of the sudden Jam runs by the scene and stills the pimp stick.**

**"MINE! MUWAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!" I then go to run in the darkness, but slam into a wall instead.**

**Andromada appears with a tired look on her face and drags me away.**

**THE OLE MIGHTY PIMP STICK! PIMP STICK! PIMP STICK! PIM-**

**JAM! QUIET!**

**...Sniff.**

**Cloud then just stands there with question marks popping out of his head. Leon turns to the bear.**

**"TELL US HOW TO GET OUT OR SUFFER DIER CONSEQUENCES!"**

**"Like what?" The bear asks daringly.**

**Leon pulls out a phone and smiles evily.**

**"Huh?...What are you planning to do with that?"**

**Leon dials a number.**

**"WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING TO DO!"**

**Leon begins to speak on the phone.**

**"Hello?...Yes...Is this Chuck E. Cheeses?...It is?"**

**"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The bear begins to kick his feet, as Leon continues to talk on the phone.**

**"Well, you see...It turns out it's somebodies birthday, and they would like a BIG BASH over there, and would so ever dearly would like to meet Chuck E. himself...It can happen? GREAT!...Can you put in a Chuck E. lap dance too?"**

**"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The bear is trying to hard to get untied. He then gives.**

**"FINE! I'LL TELL! I'LL TELL!"**

**"Nevermind...Keep the party on hold." Leon then hangs up.**

**The bear then begins to tell the way out. As soon as they knew it, they were out walking about in the woods again, doing what they had to do to get out. On their way, they were attacked by ninjas, the revengeful teletubbies, because they were canceled, Robin Williams, Whoopy Goldberg, Aunt Jermima, Mr. Clean, the creepy, child abuser on the oatmeal box, and Charles Preston, who I don't know who the hell that is, but couldn't think of anyone else to put.**

**Once they were finished battling and tuckered out, a zap of light flashed around them. Then, as the teletubbies saw everyone was gone, they began to stick their attena's in the strangest places... **

**(back to talking with Sora)**

**Me: RIKUUUUUUUUUU!**

**(scene shows back to Riku)**

**Riku: (finally gets up and looks around)...I guess it's safe now. (begins to walk, but then falls in a man hole...Hee hee...MAN HOLE! Why do they call it that? It sounds WRONG! I'm gonna stick that man in your man hole! OMG!)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (appears with Leon, with the collar on him, and the leash, and in the cage)**

**Leon: (sobbing uncontrollably)**

**Axel fanperson: (points and laughs)**

**Sora: (looks around incase anyone is looking, then scratches his crotch)...Mmmmmmmm...(gives big smile)**

**Me: WIKUUUUUUUUUUUUU! (bangs the wall)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (looking at BlueEyedFun) NO JAM! DON'T DO THAT TO THE WALL! WALLS AREN'T MENT TO BE BANGED! BANG SORA INSTEAD!**

**Sora: (gets his hand off his crotch and shakes his head in fear)**

**Me: FINE! (puts clothes back on)**

**(NOTE: You were thinking I was just hitting the wall, didn't you?)**

**Axel fanperson: (eyes fall out) MEH EYES! (runs around in circles)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (tugging Leon's leash and is now officially the happiest, crazed, fan girl on Earth in a run down building behind Wal-Mart)**


	61. Ch61 I Can't Spell When I Type Fast

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.61 I Can't Spell When I Type Fast**

**(NOTE) I can't spell when I type fast...D**

**(OTHER NOTE) This is NOT a real chapter...Yay? This will be worth your time.**

**(OTHER OTHER NOTE) This is the little "adventure" Riku has from running away...Muwahaha...**

**(OTHER OTHER OTHER NOTE) Notes are fun...**

**Riku: (looks around, seeing only pitch black) Oooooooooooow...It's DARK. (no duh) But...Muwahahaaa...I CONTROL DARKNESS! I will use my mind, to open a portal, to get me out of this man hole. (shuts eyes really tight)...(opens them) OMG! IT'S DARK! AGAIN! Wait...Hang on...(gets out a pack of matches) I'm gonna blow myself out of here! (lights the match) (shuts eyes really tight)...It's coming...Hold on...Hooooold on. (a powerful force explodes from Riku's behind, lighting the whole man hole up)**

**Yoda: (on fire, flapping arms in the air wildly) MY BEAUTY!**

**Riku:...That was...Odd. (sees a ladder right next to him) Oh...(climbs up it)**

**Yoda: (melting into slimy green goo) CALL THE BAY WATCH PATROL! Very baaaaaaaad I need it...GET PAMELA! TELL HER LOVE HER I DO! (melts in with the water)**

**Pamela Anderson in her home:...(feels a slight twitch of indegestion)**

**Riku: (reaches the top of the surface) I'M ALIVE! (runs out in the road) I'M ALI-(grey hound bus slams into him, Riku now under it)**

**Grey Hound Bus Driver: OMG! I JUST HIT SOMEONES CAT! (backs the bus up, hitting Riku again) I HATE CATS!**

**Riku: (appears smeared across the windsheild) I'M NOT A CAT! I'M A GORGEOUS, LITTLE BOY!**

**Grey Hound Bus Driver: (turns the windsheild wipers on)**

**Riku: OH NO YOU DIDN'T! (jumps off, running into a dark alley) That was close! (sees a cookie in a trash can) Ooo! A cookie! (reaches for it) **

**Cookie Monster: (appears out of no where, tackling Riku) GIMMEH THE COOKEH! **

**Riku: (clawing the ground, trying to reach the cookie) GET OFF ME YOU FURRY SMURF!**

**Cookie Monster: GIMMEH THE COOKEH!!! (dragging Riku away from the cookie)**

**Hawk: (swoops down, taking the cookie away)**

**Riku:...**

**Cookie Monster:...(looks at Riku) YOU LOOK LIKE A COOKEH!**

**Riku: I'M NOT A COOKIE! I'M A GORGEOUS, LITTLE BOY! (gets free, running for his life) RAPE! RAPE! RAPE! RAPE! RAPE! (jumps into an empty car) GO! GO! GO! (sits there, staring at the wheel)**

**Asian Gangsta:...(walks up slowly to the car) (pulls out a gun, putting it to a window of the car) GET OUT OF THE CAAAAA!**

**Riku: AH!**

**Asian Gangsta: GET OUT OF THE CAA! GET OUT OF THE CAAAA!**

**Riku: (throwing his hands in the air, screaming) AAAH!**

**Asian Gangsta: AAAAAAAAH!**

**Riku: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!**

**Asian Gangsta: AAAAAAAAH!**

**Riku: AAAAAAAAAAH! (slams on the breaks hitting the fire hydrant right in front of him)...Dammit.**

**Asian Gangsta:...You just hate me cuz I'm black yo...(walks off like he hurt his leg)**

**Riku: (gets out of the car, seeing a bar)...It couldn't hurt. (walks in)**

**Man With Beer Bon: (runs up to Riku shoving the beer bon thing in his mouth) CHUG LADY! CHUG!**

**Riku: (trying to talk) I'M NOT A LADY! I'M A GORGEOUS, LITTLE BOY! **

**(An hour later)**

**Riku: (being dragged into the back room with two men) X.X**

**(Three very fun hours later)**

**Riku: (appears in someone's back yard, wasted, and totally violated)**

**Kimitala (fellow reader): (sees Riku in it's back yard) **

**(NOTE: Sorry, I don't know if you're a boy or girl...So for now...You're an IT...Please don't get offended by this)**

**Kimitala: (calls BlueEyedFun)**

**BlueEyedFun: (looks at cell)...(throws it down and stomps on it) Stupid soliciters!**

**Axel Fan Person: (close to the backyard, eating a cookie)...(spits it out, sounds like Cartmen from South Park) Ew-dude!-This cookie tastes like trash man!-What kind of bastard makes a cookie that tastes like trash!-It tastes more like crap!-Hee hee-CRAP MAN!-Dumb ass cookeh-Tastin like crap on meh-Those son ofa bitches-Makin a dumb ass cookeh that tastes like crap. (throws the cookie on the ground) EH!...(stares at it)...Stupid, dumb ass, trash, crap, tastin cookeh, made by dumb ass, son ofa bitchen bastards...(spits on the cookie)...Heh, heh, heh...Retawds...**

**Cookie Monster: (appears behind Axel Fan Person) YOU LOOK LIKE A COOKEH!**

**Axel Fan Person: (still sounding like Cartmen) I am not a cookeeeh! I am a gorgeous, little boy!**

**Cookie Monster: (drags Axel Fan Person into a garbage can) (only screams are heard)**

**(While in the building behind Wal-Mart)**

**Me: (tearing up cell phone) DAMN SOLICITORS!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: WE GOT QUESTIONS! O.O**

**Me: From who?**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...And mail.**

**Me: Solicitors...**

**AndromedaGalaxy:...Yes.**

**Me: DAMN THEM! (knocks a hole in the wall)**

**Sora:...(hiding in the corner from BlueEyedFun)**

**(Door bell rings)**

**Me: (opens the door)**

**The ruby wolf (fellow reader): (appears at the door) D**

**Me:...What are you selling.**

**The ruby wolf:...Doom. (eyes widen)**

**Me: Go away, I don't want what you're selling.**

**The ruby wolf: (just walks past BlueEyedFun)**

**Me:...(glares) Damn yoooo...**

**The ruby wolf: (has set of questions) I'm going to ask questions whether you like it or not! First question is for Axel!**

**Axel: (appears in a cage) WHA! WHA! WHA! WHA! (so confused)**

**The ruby wolf:...Axel, will you go out with me?**

**Axel: WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE!**

**The ruby wolf: ANSWER THE QUESTION!**

**Axel: NOOOOOO!**

**The ruby wolf: (hops in the cage glomping him) MUWAHAHAAAA!**

**Axel: YOUR LOVE! IT BURNS MORE THAN MY OUTRAGEOUSLY, AWESOME POWER!**

**The ruby wolf: Second question is for Sora!**

**Sora: (gaspes) (closes eyes, tapping heels together) There's no place like home, there's no place like home...**

**The ruby wolf: Just kiss Kairi already! GAWD!**

**Sora:...That wasn't a question...**

**The ruby wolf: Third question...Is for Riku...Who is not here.**

**(Door bell rings again)**

**Me: (answers it)**

**Kimitala: (drags Riku to the door) Missing something?**

**Me: (takes Riku, slinging him up against the wall) DON'T RUN AWAY!**

**Riku: (has a concussion)**

**The ruby wolf: (not knowing of this) Riku go find an emo girl, and like go out with her, it would be a beautiful coupling.**

**Me: GASP! I'm half emo! O.O But...Riku is a gay fag for Sora, so I have to understand that.**

**Sora:...(glares)**

**The ruby wolf: (still glomping Axel) This one is for Cloud and Aeris!**

**Cloud and Aeris: (appear in the room looking around confusedly)**

**Cloud: Hey, this isn't the Holiday Inn...**

**The ruby wolf: Okay, now shut up, do you and Aeris play the panty monster game in real life.**

**Aeris: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh…**

**Cloud: First of all, we are imaginative, animated figures, seen in almost virtual video games, and movies, only for the entertainment of people. Do you think we would be real life? NO…We are not real. Get that in your head! NOW! Get that in your small, puny, little head you retard!**

**Aeris:…**

**The ruby wolf:…Fudge you. **

**Aeris: FUDGE! WHERE!**

**Me: Oh dear gawd, it must be her time of the month.**

**Aeris: I BLEEEEEEEEEED! **

**Cloud: (head explodes)**

**AndromedaGalaxy:…(throws up) CLOUD GUTS! OMFG!**

**Cloud: (headless body on the ground, beginning to twitch)**

**Me: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeew…**

**(Dramatic pause)**

**Me: Let's see what happens if we chop off more of him. **

**AndromedaGalaxy: (pukes again)**

**Me: Eeeeeeeeeew! Andromada!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (sobbing uncontrollably) IT'S NOT MY FAULT! I LOVED HIM!…Wait…Wrong script, sorry, that was Aeris's..**

**Aeris: So no wonder I had to say I was bleeding…**

**(Another Dramatic Pause)**

**Sora:…I didn't need to know that.**

**Riku: (wakes up, seeing Cloud, scattered into gory pieces on the floor)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (pukes again from the description of Cloud's separated parts of his body, like a creepy easter egg hunt.)**

**Me: Oh yeah! That's a good idea! Let's chop him up more!**

**Aeris: (crying) I LOVED HIM!**

**Riku: (stares at Cloud)…Hmmm…(thinking "I wonder what he would taste like, if we grilled him, and added some salt")**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (some how read Riku's mind) DON'T FORGET THE BARBECUE SAUCE!**

**Me:…What? Were going to eat Cloud! AWESOME!**

**Aeris: I DON'T WANNA EAT MY LOVAH!**

**The ruby wolf:…Uh…I left when you guys didn't notice, and I came back to get my coat…Yeah…Um…So…How's school?**

**Me:…Were gonna eat Cloud! D**

**The ruby wolf:…Have fun…(walks out the door) (head pops back in)…Uuuh…Can you save me some?**

**Me: SURE! D**

**Riku: (still staring at Cloud's body)…Oh yeah.**

**Me: (looks at Riku) Wha?**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (takes Cloud's hand)…Hmmm…(begins to gnaw on it) HE TASTES LIKE CHEESE AND MILK!**

**Me: (slaps Andromada) Don't touch him! He may have had diseases! **

**Aeris: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!**

**Me:…Hmmm…I wonder if Aeris tastes good too…**

**AndromedaGalaxy: This all sounds sooo wrong.**

**Aeris: For your information, I taste like vanilla and sunflowers.**

**Me:…How did you know that? Did you taste yourself?**

**Aeris:…No…For your information AGAIN, I just smell good.**

**Me:…Okay.**

**Sora:…I'm hungry. (looks at Cloud's body) (closes his eyes)…It's only chicken…It's only chicken…It's only chicken. (puts his hand on Cloud's arm) (eyes still closed and starts screaming) OMFG! IT'S CLOUD! IT'S NOT CHICKEN! IT'S CLOUD! (begins to gnaw on Cloud's shoulder) IT'S CHICKEN! OMG! He does taste like cheese and milk!**

**Me:…Why da hell, did I write this kind of chapter…Seriously, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?**

**AndromedaGalaxy:…Mmmmm…Hamburgers…Cloud hamburgers. You know, we can get some olives, make some club sandwhiches out of Cloud. Yeah, we could do that!…Mmmmm…**

**Aeris: (has a twisted up face)…(begins to cry again)**

**Cloud: (sits up, growing a head) LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!**

**Me: OMFG!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: IT'S HIDEOUS!**

**Cloud: (has the head of Mr. Rogers) D**

**Aeris:…(too traumatized for words)**

**The ruby wolf:…Uh…I think I'll go now…AGAIN.**

**Riku:…Somehow…He doesn't look so good to eat anymore.**

**Cloud: WHAT'S GOIN ON IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD! D**

**Aeris: (screams)**

**Sora: (screams louder than Aeris) REDRUM! REDRUM! REDRUUUUUUUUM!**

**Riku: (head explodes)**

**Me: Hey we got another one! (grabs a fork)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: Let's make Riku pizza!**

**Sora: NOOOOOOO! MY PARTNER!…Wait…I mean…MY KEYBLADE PARTNER!**

**Me:…I KNEW IT!**

**Sora: Were…FRIENDS. ("Friends" Theme song comes on)**

**Me: (singing along) I'll be there for yoooooooooo!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: I'll be there for toooooooooooooooooo!**

**Me: DO THE HUSTLE! (song changes into the Hustle song)**

**Riku: (head grows back, but looks like Riku) I came back…Because…You retards…Are nothing…Without me…**

**Me:…Say you love us.**

**Riku:…You are all, too ugly for my love.**

**Me:…Fudge you. (glares)**

**Riku:…(glares back)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: DEAR FOOKING GAWD! SOMEONE DIE ALREADY! DEAR GAWD! I'M STARVING! I WANT HAMBURGERS! SOMEONE KILL SOMEBO-(shot in the head with an arrow)**

**Sora: (holding a bow and some arrows)…I didn't do it…I was playing an innocent game of cowboys and Indians. And Andromada…She kind of looks like an Indian.**

**Me:…Uuuuuuh…That's all folks?**


	62. Ch62 Christmas Special Part 1

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.62 Christmas Special Part 1**

**Me: Hi, I would just like to say, I FINALLY UPDATED! YEAH! And we have the Christmas Special! (As again sorry if you don't celebrate Christmas, Christmas is all I know T.T) And if you are reading this, I would like to say thank you for waiting so long and being patient, and for following along still...I don't follow along with the stories I read...Oh and Andromada, congratulations on your new story! I'm so proud of you! She's having bad writers block on the Kingdom Chaos one and she finally wrote her Squall and Yuffie love story. Yay! Wee! Hooray!...Oh and yeah...Um...Well, we all really don't have much to say in "Talking With Sora" right now, sorry...**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (voice coming from the ceiling) How the hell do I turn on this hot tub again...**

**Riku: (in the living room, watching "Wheel Of Furtune", and eating potato chips) It's suppose to say "Go Wherever Life Takes Me" dammit! IT'S GO WHEREVER LIFE TAKES ME YOU IDIOT! GO AND WHEREVER IS ALREADY ON THERE, THE A, K, E, S, AND E ARE ALREADY ON THERE! IT'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!**

**Person On Wheel Of Furtune: Is it "Go Wherever Love Takes Me?" (Incorrect noise)**

**Host: Ooooo, no, I'm sorry, it was "Go Wherever Life Takes Me."**

**Riku: (stands up from the couch, throwing the chips down all over the ground) YOU FUCKING IDIOT! (falls over from a stroke)**

**Donald: (walks by vacuuming)...(starts sucking up the potato chips, then stops, looking at Riku) I don't think Riku would fit in the vacuum...Maybe in the trash compactor.**

**Sora: (walks by in his underwear)...**

**Donald:...**

**Sora:...**

**Donald: Hey, aren't those mine?**

**Sora:..Uuuh...(takes them off and runs into a room)**

**Axel Fan Person: (voice coming from the room Sora ran into) OMFG! MY EYES!**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (voice screaming from the ceiling) SOMETHING IS IN THE HOT TUB WITH ME! **

**Voice From Ceiling: Hello, my sweetness...**

**AndromedaGalaxy: OMFG!**

**Me:...Like I said...We don't have much to talk about.**

**The flash of light ended, and as they looked around, they were in a white land of wonder.**

**Sora looks up at the sky, "So you're saying blacks aren't welcome?"**

**NO! DAMMIT! NO! It means snow! Are you trying to get me hate reviews!**

**"...Not really, no."**

**Yuffie just stares at Sora.**

**"Are you talking to your imaginary friend again?"**

**"Yes! His name is Pinnochio and he wants to be a real boy!" Sora sticks his tongue out childishy.**

**Scene shows Pinnochio on the roof of Jeppetto's work shop.**

**"PINNOCHIO! GET DOWN FROM HERE!" Jeppetto yells at him.**

**"Don't worry father! I'm not a real boy, I can't die!" He smiles bravely.**

**A small flame from the chimney releases, catching Pinnochio on fire.**

**"AAAAAH! FATHER!" He then trips, rolling off the roof, slamming into the ground.**

**Pinnochio soon stands up, since the ground put out the fire, and just hops up and down.**

**"See father! I'm alright!"**

**Micheal Jackson then runs by, grabbing Pinnochio and running off, mistaking him for a real boy.**

**Jeppetto slaps his forehead.**

**"Dammit, why couldn't I have just stuck with the goldfish and the cat!"**

**Scene goes back to the snowy wonderland.**

**"...Well...That was...Quite entertaining." Aeris says, standing there totally still.**

**"Hey..." Cloud says in his secretive, deep voice, "Isn't this where Santa lives?"**

**"Why do you say that?" Leon asks.**

**Cloud points out behind them, which shows the whole village of elves and lights, and the taunting merry-go-round.**

**"Isn't this the place from Hallow Ween town?" Riku asks.**

**Sora's eye begins to twitch crazily.**

**"SANTA!" He screams out and starts running towards the village.**

**"SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANTAAAAAAA! FEEL ME WITH SWEET, SUGARY GOODNESS!"**

**"WTH?" They all shout from hearing him.**

**Soon they all appear in white camo and Sora begins talking like a drill sargeant.**

**"OKAY YOU MAGGOTS! THE ONLY WAY WE CAN INFULTRATE SANTA IS BY DESTROYING THOSE ELVES AND GETTING INSIDE! WHO'S WITH ME MEN?"**

**"...Sora...Go to hell." Leon says seriously.**

**"Guess that's a no...But...COME ON!" Sora then runs out behind buildings and back as the others follow.**

**An elf appears out behind a building shrieking, holding gun.**

**"WEEEEEEEEEEEE!" It then begins to shoot candy canes at them maniacally.**

**"AAAAAAH!" Half of them scream, but Sora grabs a hand grenade, throwing the hand grenade at the elf, ducking down, blowing up the elf to smithereens.**

**Small peices of candy cane fall to the ground.**

**"IT'S BEAUTIFUL!" Leon shouts out in glory as the minty, white, essence of the candy cane pieces fall down like twinkling pieces of glass.**

**A piece of candy cane then falls in his eye.**

**"OMFG! MY EYE! SCREW THIS!" He then throws a small tempertantrum.**

**They then run up to the very front where elves are lined up with toy bazookas.**

**"ONE! TWO! THREE! FIRE!" They begin to shoot millions of pounds of fruit cake at them.**

**"OMFG!" Half of then scream out again.**

**A huge fruit cake knocks Leon in the face. **

"**AAAAAH! MY FACE! MY BEAUTIFUL, MANLY STRUCTURE OF A FACE! CLOUD! CLOUD! HELP ME CLOUD!" Leon reaches his hand out to Cloud in pain.**

"…**.What the fuck am I suppose to do? Hug you and sing to you?" Cloud looks at him angerly.**

"…**I was wanting you to help me up, but could you do that instead?" **

**Cloud kicks Leon in the face.**

"**OW! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR!" Leon shrieks out painfully.**

"…**I'm the prettiest man in this group." Cloud's expression becomes serious.**

**Sora grabs Riku, picking up fruit cake all around, shoving as much fruit cake in Riku's mouth then as much as he could get inside of him, which sounds very wrong. He then turns Riku around at the elves, lighting a match over his behind.**

**"Omg...He wouldn't...No...He wouldn't...HE WOULDN'T!" Cloud shouts out in horror, then everyone running for their lives.**

**The elves just stare confusedly, that's when a force exploded from Riku, destroying the elves and almost half the village.**

**"I think it's clear." Sora says, smiling in delight.**

**Riku begins to cry...**

**"I feel so...Mis-used!"**

**Sora then takes the others with him, running out towards the merry-go-round that was out of order, and the elves secretly hiddin around the main area...**

**The elves hop out from all their places and begin shooting at them furiously with actual guns this time.**

**Sora brings everyone up to the merry-go-round, so the elves would shoot at them there. He hits the merry-go-round with his keyblade, causing it to spin, reflecting the bullets back at the elves. None of Sora and friends were hit by any bullets, except for Leon, who got shot in the arm 4 times.**

"**OW! WHAT THE HELL? WHY DO I KEEP GETTING INJURED IN THIS!" Leon shrieks out, clutching his arm.**

**All the elves were hit back by the bullets, killed, except for one of them who was hidden. **

**"OH YEAH!" Yuffie jumps in triumpth.**

**The elf then comes out, pulling down a lever that made the merry-go-round spin around, shooting out electricity, shocking them with volts enough to make them pass out...**

**(Back To Talking With Sora)**

**Me:...Uuuuuuh...Like I said, not that much to say...This chapter was a little more interesting than funny probably. XDDD Yeah, you'll enjoy the next chapter better.**


	63. Ch63 Christmas Special Part 2

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.63 Christmas Special Part 2**

**Me:...Uuuuuh...READ DAMMIT! READ!**

**They woke up right in front of the door of Santa's workshop, Santa now stepping out, doing cartwheels, then ending it with a flip.**

**"Welcome to my factory!" He shouts out merrily.**

**Whoa...Got "Willy Wonka" read all over this now.**

**They all just stare confusedly.**

**Santa pulls out a sheet of paper.**

**"Let's see, we have Sora, Riku, Leon, Yuffie, Cloud, and Aeris...WELCOME!"**

**Sora grins a constapaded grin.**

**"SANTA! I LOVE YOOOOOOOOO!"**

**The elf body guards appear.**

**"Stay back kid..." One of them say threatingly.**

**"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaw..."**

**"Well...What are you just doing sitting there? COME IN! COME IN!" Santa shouts merrily once again and leads them inside.**

**They walk in and see a giant room filled with majestic wonders...Majestic wondeeeeeers...Majestic wondeeeeeeeeeeeers...Majestic wondeeeeeeeers...Sorry.**

**All these evles form up into a line singing to the tune of the "Oompa Loompa" song.**

"**Merry-Merry-Merry Christmas. You're all gonna die on our list."**

**No one seems to notice…**

**Yuffie whispers to Aeris.**

"**Isn't it true that, if you rub Santa's belly, you'll have good luck and wealth forever?"**

**Aeris looks at Yuffie funny.**

"**That's Buddha! Not Santa!"**

**Riku overhears, but only heard the having good luck and wealth forever part. Riku hops over Santa, sticking his hand under his shirt, and begins rubbing…Omfg.**

"**WHAT THE BLOODY HELL! GUARDS!" Santa shouts.**

**A small elf shocks Riku from behind, Riku soon falls to the ground lifelessly.**

"**RIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" Sora screams at the sky.**

**The elves then get a giant pooper scooper, scooping up Riku, putting him in a present box, and closing the lid, hitting a button that springs the box up into the air, into a giant ceiling fan, the box being chopped up into falling remains.**

…**Holy shit!**

"**OOO! PRETTY PAPER!" Cloud shouts out childishly.**

**The elves form up into one line again and start singing.**

"**Merry-Merry-Merry Christmas. Riku was first to die on our list. "**

…**Holy shit!**

**Cloud starts running around collecting the pretty wrapping paper that fell from the ceiling fan.**

"**SHINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!"**

"…**How many of you would like to come ride on a magic "carpet" ride?" Santa asks.**

"…"

"**I mean our little boat."**

"…**Oh…SURE!" They all say at once.**

**A huge boat made out of gingerbread, gum drops, sugar plums, and candy canes appears. Everyone hops on.**

**Sora stands over the boat, staring into the water. An elf comes up behind him, shoving him into the water, as the other elf drives the boat over him. Blood starts floating to the top of the water.**

…**Holy shit!**

**The elves form into a line again and start singing.**

"**Merry-Merry-Merry Christmas. Sora was second to die on our list."**

…**Holy shit!**

"**Hey, the water's red!" Cloud says smiling, looking over the edge.**

"…**Pretty red colooooooooooooooor…"**

**An elf peeping out behind a door that leads to a room on the boat behind Aeris whispers at her.**

"**SPPPPPPPPPPP! OVER HERE! WOULD YOU LIKE SOME FREE TOYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS?" **

**Aeris's eyes lit up in delight.**

"**TOYS!" She ran into the room, the door shutting and locking.**

"**WHA?" The lights go off, leaving her in complete and utter darkness.**

**A chainsaw noise is heard…Then her screams and liquid splashing.**

…**HOLY SHIT! OMFG!**

**The elves from the outside of the room form a line and sing once again.**

"**Merry-Merry-Merry Christmas. Aeris was third to die on our list."**

…**Holy shit!**

**Blood leaks out under the door, soaking into the floor board…I am a horrible person. T.T **

**Cloud sees the blood, and gets down on his knees, his head facing it, twisting back and forth like a retard.**

"**MORE PRETTY RED COLOOOOOOOOOOOOR!"**

**Yuffie sees it…**

"**That better be paint…Hey, where did Sora and Aeris go?"**

**The only people that were left was Cloud, staring at the blood, smiling widely at the beautiful color it makes, Yuffie, spinning around in confusion, and Leon, sitting in one of the seats on the boat, not giving a shit about what's going on.**

**The boat stops next to a blinding, white, solid island, which had elves making toys. Yuffie sees the bicycle she always wanted being made.**

"**OMG! I LOVE THOSE! BUT I NEVER GOT ONE FOR CHRISTMAS!" Her mouth expands widely in shock. She then turns to Santa angerly.**

"…**Uuuuh…We were out at the moment?" He shoves a candy cane in her mouth, causing her to choke, and throws her on the conveyer belt, into a giant oven, a bell going off, her popping out looking like a giant cooked chicken, and hungry elves running by, eating the giant chicken (Yuffie), and running away, leaving nothing, but bones.**

…**HOLY SHIT! OMFG!**

**Leon looks at Santa, then back at the bones, then repeats.**

"**DOES ANYONE ELSE SEE WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING, BUT ME?" **

**The elves form up in a line, and as again, sing.**

"**Merry-Merry-Merry Christmas. Yuffie was fourth to die on our list."**

…**Holy shit!**

**Cloud walks up to the bones, putting one in his mouth and sucking on it.**

"…**Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm."**

**What the bloody hell is wrong with me.**

**Leon pulls out his gun blade at Santa, suddenly, Santa snaps his fingers and a giant anvil falls on Leon's head, crushing him, and the anvil explodes, leaving nothing, but black ash.**

…**Holy shit! I need one of those exploding anvils!**

**The elves form a line once again, and SING!**

"**Merry-Merry-Merry Christmas. Leon was fifth to die on our list."**

…**Holy shit!**

**Cloud points accusingly at Santa.**

"**I know what's going on here! You're killing all my friends!"**

…**That friggin retard…He finally figured it out…THE ELVES EVEN SANG ABOUT IT! **

**Santa pulls out a red two lasered light saver, striped with white and green, and points it at Cloud threatingly.**

"**And you're sixth to die on the list!"**

**(Back to talking with Sora)**

**Me: Yes, the next chapter is going to be a funny action scene…Enjoy.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (still screaming from the ceiling)**


	64. Ch64 Christmas Special Part 3

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.64 Christmas Special Part 3**

**Me:...Read...Or...D-No, no, just read.**

**Cloud dogded out of the way as soon Santa swirved the light saver at him. Cloud reached his pockets, turns out, he isn't able to fit his huge sword in his pocket...If he did...He would need some pretty, big PANTS! HA HA HA! HA HA HA! HA HA! (SNORT) HA HA HA! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!**

**Cloud digged stuff out of his pockets, ducking and dodging from the light saver as much as he could. **

**"Let's see...Paper clip-no! Piece of gum-NO! An uneaten icecream sandwhich-YES!"**

**He shoved the icecream sandwhich in his mouth and savered the taste...**

**"Oh, oh, ooooh yeah, THIS IS SO GO-"**

**Santa swings the light saver at his leg, only cutting a little bit of it.**

**"HOLY MOTHER OF! OOOOW!" Cloud grabs onto his leg in pain.**

**"WHY DID YOU DO THAT?"**

**"...Were in a battle."**

**"...Oh...I forgot. YOU COULD OF TOLD ME BEFORE YOU DECIDED TO SLICE OFF HALF MY LEG!"**

**"Sorry! I didn't mean to!"**

**Cloud then starts staring at Santa's light saver.**

**"...How come I don't have one of those?"**

**Santa then swings his light saver at Cloud again, this time, chopping off his big, tall spike his hair makes. Cloud grabs his head in shock.**

**"YOU BITCH! YOU FAT BITCH! YOU FAT, HOBO OF A BITCH!'**

**Cloud grabs out the gum, puts it in his mouth, chews it up really fast to where it can be stretchy. He then undos the paperclip into a style that could stab someone, ties a little of the gum to it, makes the gum long and stretchy, and twirls it around.**

**"That's it!" He shouts in anger. "You can kill my friends! Cut my leg! BUT YOU CAN NEVER-"**

**He points to his hair.**

**"TOUCH MY BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF MANLYNESS HAIR!"**

**...I'm lost...Are you?**

**Cloud slings his gum and paper clip at Santa, and Santa charges at Cloud with the light saver, but the light saver ripping through the gum, into Cloud's shoulder.**

**"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! YOU BAS-Oooo! Bright, shiny sword thingy!" He begins to stare at the light saver inlodged in his shoulder with great interest.**

**...Ow...I can't believe I write this kind of stuff...My mom would be ashamed.**

**Just when Santa was about to destroy Cloud completely, Cloud kicks Santa in the place where the sun don't shine! Cause it's snowing out, and the clouds block the sun, so they all get very pale in the North Pole, unlike Florida which is one heck of an awesome state, especially in Miami, Florida, with those refreshing swimming pools, great, tropical drinks, with those cute little umbrellas in them, that you can enjoy as you drink, and stab someone with them...AT THE SAME TIME!...To get to the point, Cloud just kicked Santa in the dick...FLORIDA RULES!**

**Santa topples over in pain, off of the empire state building, onto the many pedestrians passing by, killing about two and a half from the velocity at which he was falling by...Okay, they weren't on the empire state building really, it's my story, I can do whatever I want, and the "half" person, was really a "little" person...ANDROMADA!**

**QUIT MOCKING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!**

**NEVEEEEEEEEEEER!...Continuing the story now.**

**Cloud finally defeated Santa, so he skipped off, forgetting about all of his friends, until he came across the elves, lining up once again, singing to the same, old, annoying tune.**

**"Merry, Merry, Merry Christmas. You killed Santa, now were pissed. We would fight back, yes we would. But you're more stupid than a piece of wood."**

**Cloud started dozing off.**

**"Wake up, wake up, Mr. Cloud Stife! Were gonna bring your friends back to life!"**

**Cloud was still sleeping...**

**"WAKE UP BITCH!"**

**"WHA? AH!" Cloud finally awoke.**

**"Were gonna bring your fukin friends back you hoe, now snap to it! Wake yo ass up!"**

**Cloud just nodded, trying to keep awake.**

**Pretty soon, the pretty pieces of wrapping paper, came up all together, forming a big present box, soon Riku pops out.**

**"...Uuuuh...What's the word...Uuuuh...SURPRISE!..Wait...Wait...No, let me do that again..."**

**Riku ducks back down in the box, then pops out again.**

**"SURPRISE!"**

**Sora then all of a sudden drags himself out of the water, onto the boat, just like that creepy, little girl from "The Ring."**

**He'd be swimmin with the fishes! HA HA HA! HA HA! (SNORT) HAAAAAAAAAAA!**

**Sora then speaks in a light, sad, whispery voice.**

**"...I have water in places that hurts."**

**Aeris then walks out of the room on the boat, eating a donut...Everyone stares.**

**"What!...Oh come on, there's a Dunk'n Donuts in the back! JEEZ!...Can't eat a donut anymore."**

**An elf then speaks...**

**"Uuuuh...That wasn't a donut...That's someones aso-"**

**Sora cuffs his hand over the elf's mouth.**

**"Shhhh, don't tell her..."**

**Yuffie then pops out of the oven, covering her eyes in fear.**

**"I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WASN'T A HOT DOG MISTE-Oh..."**

**The ashes under the anvil crawl out from undernieth, building it's way to the top, forming the entire sillowette of Leon. Sora walks up to the ash Leon, blows air at it, and the ash flies off, revealing the real Leon underneith it.**

**Leon slices Sora's head off with his gunblade.**

**"DIE SANTA! DIE!"**

**Yuffie screams out.**

**"OMG! SORA DIED! AGAIN!"**

**Sora's head speaks.**

**"It's okay...Doctors can fix this...Just like when Leon chopped off my other head..."**

**...OMFG! AAAAAAAAH! I just traumatized myself! OMFG! OMFG! If you're a boy, I'm so sorry you had to read this, this must have scared the shit out of you!**

**Everyone just looks at eachother...**

**"So...Where to now?" Leon asks.**

**"STAR BUCKS!" Aeris throws her fist in the air happily.**

**"...That'll work." Says Riku, and they all trot off, out of the factory, and on their way to the nearest Star Bucks.**

**(Back To Talking With Sora)**

**Me:...Well...That's all that's left of the Christmas special! Hope you enjoyed it! I'll be back with more fun filled chapters as soon as possible!**

**Andromada: (continues screaming) I'M NOT THAT SWEEEEEEEEEEET! **


	65. Ch65 Hitch Hiker's Guide To Starbucks

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.65 The Hitch Hiker's Guide To Starbucks**

**Me: Oh, dear gawd, it's been forever now since I've updated, and I feel aweful for my readers...I have been procrastonating a lot, and as again...I'm so sorry I make you wait! (covers face sadly)...Yeah, oh and...Also about the people who want to get into "Talking With Sora", it won't be awhile, I just have to get my thougths together...I am...A slow person. Besides, it's only 35 chapters more, so you still have enough time.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (comes down from the ceiling, wrapped in a towel, and holding an axe over her shoulder)...Uuuuh, Jam...Whatever you do...Don't go in the hot tub.**

**Me:...Why...Did my pet water monkeys come back to life and try to eat you again-**

**AndromedaGalaxy: NO! Oh and, I told you those water monkeys were going to be up to no good when you bought them!**

**Me: Guess what Andromada did the other day, people...(stares directly into the camera, which is really quite odd since this is a story...Nevermind, screw it, just make yourself understand)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (grins)**

**Me: Andromada printed out my chapters for this story, I can't remember which chapters, but all the way to the Ch.50's, took them to school, and got them taken up by the teacher.**

**AndromedaGalaxy: It's not my fault you put the words "I'M SO HORNY!" in capitalized, bold, black letters for all the world to see.**

**Me: I would've used the color red, but they won't let you write a story in that color...**

**Axel Fanperson: (walks up to them)...Can I join the conversation? (gives puppy dog eyes)**

**Me:...No.**

**Axel Fanperson: Aaaaaaaaw...(scuffs his feet as he walks away sadly)**

**Me:...He didn't hurt his leg or anything, did he? (looks over to AndromedaGalaxy)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: (shrugs and smiles) **

**Me: Start the st-(to be continued)**

**They came across a small highway and started to scamper along it, trying to find any sign that would point out to the nearest Starbucks. After several miles, Sora began complaining.**

**"I'm tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired...I don't like walkiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing...I wanna go hoooooooooooome...Are we there yeeeeeeeeee-"**

**Sora is all of a sudden hit in the head with large stone. Leon calls out right when he hits Sora with it.**

**"Whoops! Missed the Yeti that was right behind you Sora!"**

**Sora freezes, afraid to turn around, actually believing Leon about the Yeti...Well...I don't blame him, after meeting a wooky in this story, you would be afraid of anything, humongously large and harry in all the wrong ways. Unfortunately, Cloud was behind Sora at the time when Sora turned around.**

**"OMFG! IT'S HIDEOUS!" Sora shields himself, jumping away backwards, fear struck in his eye when he saw Cloud.**

**...There is a hesitant silence, and Cloud's face began to squint up, his eyes filling with tears, and biting his lower lip.**

**"...I...Will...Not...CRY!" He then points at Sora, having a break down and shrieks out hardly anything you could make the words out of.**

**"I AM A BEAUTIFUL MAN WHO SHOULD BECOME A MODEL, NOT A HARRY CREATURE, FOR YOUR INFORMATION I SHAVE, OKAY?! AND I THINK I DESERVE BETTER RESPECT AROUND HERE SINCE I SAVE YOU FROM THOSE EVIL OOMPA LOOMPA ELVES THINGIES AND SANTA WHO KILLED YOU ALL, AND I GOT PART OF MY FABULOUS HAIR CUT OFF JUST TO BRING YOU GUYS BACK TO LIFE AND GO GET COFFEE AND NOW YOU CALL ME A HIDEOUS MONSTER WHICH HURT MY FEELINGS AND I THINK YOU SHOULD APOLAGIZE!" He then takes a very large breath of air in.**

**"..."**

**There is another long silence, till Yuffie speaks.**

**"Cheer up emo kid!" She gives a cheerful smile and right then Cloud falls over from exhaustion and hurt.**

**"Well, it is taking forever, why don't we just hitch hike?" Aeris brings up, staring at Cloud who was now rolling around on the ground.**

**The others agree and they begin waiting for any cars to take them in...Well, if you were driving, minding your own business, would you pick up these characters? A kid with a giant dildo (Sora), an IT (Riku), Scarface (Leon), an albino with a sword bigger than your car (Cloud), a zombie (Aeris), and a girl running around with glowing balls (Yuffie)…You guys are probably wondering about Leon, I didn't call him Scarface just because he had the scar on his face…He resembles Scarface because of the scar and the huge "gun"blade he carries and the "Say hello to my little friend."…For a tip on the last one that will bring up your memory…"Little."**

"**OH DEAR GAWD IT'S NOT LITTLE FOR THE VERY LAST TIME!"**

…**Do you remember now?**

**A car, pure black darted right past them, soon screeching to a hault, and backing up, rolling down the car window…They all just stare. Once the window rolls down all the way, it reveals the band members Kizz.**

"**Hey, you guys need a lift?"**

**NOTE:…I have nothing at all against Kizz.**

**There is an akward silence, no one moving…Sora then finally screeches out a terrible scream.**

"**RUUUUN!" They all then start heading for the hills, Kizz in their car, chasing after them full speed.**

"**COME BACK! WE JUST WANNA HELP YOU!"**

**Leon begins to break down crying.**

"**I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE! ARE THE MEN OR WOMEN, OR MONSTERS, OR EVIL CLOWNS-WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY!" **

…**This is why they should make name tags of what gender you are.**

**Scene shows Riku at a Christmas party, drinking eggnog, smiling cheerfully, enjoying the people around him. A man walks up to Riku.**

"**Excuse me uuuuh…" Bends down a bit, looking at the gender tag.**

"…**Sir."**

**Riku looks directly into the camera, followed by a thumbs up sign, an open smile, and a ding noise in the background.**

**Scene goes back to them running. They pass through the woods, breathing heavily in fear, losing track of the car, hearing Kizz's angry voices in the background. They slow down, stopping in their tracks to take a breath.**

"…**How…Are…We…Going…To…Get…To…Star…Bucks…N-" Yuffie passes out from taking in so much breath.**

**They start hearing twigs crack, and bushes rumbling right next to them.**

"**What is it?" Aeris asked, hardly enough to whisper.**

**They wait, tensing up, then Goofy pops out.**

"**YUK-YUK-YUK! SURPRISE!"**

"**OMFG! BIGFOOT!" They all start running in the other direction.**

**Donald pops out of the bushes as well.**

"**WAIT! IT'S US! DONALD AND GOOFY!"**

**They pause, turning around, almost saying simultaneously, "ooooooh…"**

"**We're here to rescue you!" Donald jumps up in joy.**

**Goofy nods, "we brought the gummi ship with us too!"**

**Sora, Riku, Yuffie, Aeris, Cloud, and Leon, look at eachother happily, running towards the direction Goofy pointed at to the gummi ship. They freeze at what they see…It wasn't a gummi ship at all, but a horse attached to a log.**

"**WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?" Leon curls his hands into fist with rage.**

"**Don't be that surprised, the horse can FLY!" Goofy says, nodding in astonishment.**

**Donald does his hands, making them form an imaginary rainbow.**

"**It's a maaaaaaaagical horse…Magical horse…Magical wondeeeeeeeers."**

**The horse then farts, the flies around it's tail blowing away in the wind. If you listened closely, you could almost hear the buzzes made out "HELP MEEEEEE!" **

**Yuffie, Leon, Cloud, Sora, Aeris, and Riku then just turn around, running after Kizz.**

"**HEY! COME BACK! WE'LL RIDE WITH YOU!"**

**They then appear at the road again, an icecream truck passing by. They then chase it down, shaking the truck, trying to throw out the driver.**

"**AAAH! WHATEVER YOU FOUND IN THE ICECREAM, I DIDN'T DO IT! IT WAS THE GOVERNMENT TRYING TO HIGHEN THE DEATHRATE! PLEASE! DON'T HURT ME!"**

**The man then falls out, Sora and everyone hopping in, and driving off, leaving only gusts of smoke. Donald and Goofy then run out into the road, fanning the smoke out of their faces, couging.**

"**WAIT! WE DIDN'T TELL YOU THE GUMMI SHIP WAS RIGHT BEHIND THE HORSE!"**

**(Back to talking with Sora)**

**Me: (Was hit in the head with a duck)…Don't ask. (now has an icepack on head)**

**AndromedaGalaxy: You would never think a duck would miss the window and hit Jam instead…**

**Axel Fanperson: (walks in the room, seeing BlueEyedFun with an icepack on her head and AndromedaGalaxy staring at a dead duck on the ground)…(just walks out of the room)**

**Sora: (in a different room, complaining to Riku) Why is it that, they call this "Talking With Sora" when their isn't even any attention on me, and they aren't talking with me? **

**Riku:…(just staring at the wall)**

**Sora:…Riku?**

**Riku:….**

**Sora: RIKU!**

**Riku: Huh? Wha? (shakes his head, then looking at Sora) How much you bet I couldn't slam through that wall and still live?**

**Sora: Huh?-Wha?-No, this isn't what we're talking about-I'LL GIVE YOU TWENTY BUCKS! O.O **


	66. Ch66 I Scream Icecream

**Kingdom Crazies**

**Ch.66 I Scream Icecream**

**Me:...Sooo-(big crash is heard from other room) O.O**

**Riku: (from other room) I'M STILL ALIVE! HA!**

**Sora: Aaaaaaw...**

**The icecream truck was harder to drive than they could ever imagine. Or it was Yuffie's poor driving skills. Everytime they turned sharply, Leon's face would be dunked into the cookie dough icecream that was in the bucket next to him, followed by his painful shouts of "I DON'T LIKE THIS GAME!" Sora was already getting into the icecream, throwing the buckets of the kind he didn't like out the window. Let's just say...The homeless actually thought it was raining buckets of icecream...Even though it did kill small animals...And injured a toddler that had been chasing them for blocks. Soon...People starting being aware of this evil icecream truck. Before they knew it, an angry mob was chasing them.**

**"Oh no! What are we going to do?" Aeris called out in fear.**

**"I have an idea...But...It's pretty bold." Yuffie said, now tensing up. She pushed her foot down on the breaks, backing up, causing the people to run away. Another toddler was injured, but that was because he ran into the side of the truck when it stopped...Maybe he couldn't see a huge white truck with a giant icecream cone on it was in front of him, I don't know.**

**Yuffie then began to drive forward again, speeding in the truck as fast as she could. A senior citizen was injured this time, except the truck had ran over a soda can, and the can flew up, hitting them in the head. They were okay though, until the kid who ran into the icecream truck came running up to them.**

**"GRANDPA! YOU OKAY?" The toddler smashes into the senior citizen...Maybe the kid is missing some motor skills, I don't know.**

**All of a sudden, out of no where, King Kong falls from the sky, landing on the icecream truck, killing them all...Naaaaaaaaaaaaaah...Then there wouldn't be a story. Elvis lands on the icecream truck instead, causing a giant dent on the roof...Well...He is the King Of Rock, and I couldn't think of any other king.**

**"OMG! OMG!" Half of them scream from inside the truck as it begins to swerve. Elvis then rolls off the roof and onto the windshield. **

**"Weeeell, since my baby left me! And I found a new place to dwell!" **

**"OMG! KILL IT! KILL IT!" Aeris screams and points, having a panic attack. **

**Yuffie turns on the windshield wipers, smearing Elvis off...So that's how Elvis really died. I heard it was death by donuts and overdoses, but, this?...Wow...I like the abducted by aliens story much better though...And as again, when Elvis fell off, he landed on another toddler. Right then, from the swerving of the icecream truck, it crashes into a Dunk'n Donuts that was placed right next to a Starbucks. They crawl out of the back of the truck, unharmed, except for the employee of the month, who saw the truck coming from a window, and held his gaurd in front of it, with a bucket on his head, and a mop in both hands...Turns out the bucket saved his life that day.**

**(Back to talking with Sora)**

**Me:...Yes...I know this chapter was probably short, but...When I wrote it, I thought it would be longer because of how much I spent on it...That was before I read it myself. XD Yeah, um...Just move onto the next chapter...Hopefully it was still entertaining.**


End file.
